Friday, November 28
I went with my brother to the Science Centre :3
I took my weight there and I lost 3 KILOS!!!!
How how how how how?!
Possible reasons:
1) My boobs shrunk yet again T_T T_T T_T T_T
(as if i had any to begin with... if this keeps up i'll be the only girl in the world with a concave chest)2) Nanyang's weighing machine is screwed T_T
3) The air of stress in nanyang is so heavy that it added 3kg to my weight T_T
4) My PE teacher hates me because I skipped too many of her lessons and added 3kg to my current weight T_T
T__________________________________T
Labels: height and weight
Tuesday, November 18
Someone slap me 0_0
I've always thought I was smarter than this. Way smarter.
Full account of what happened yesterday:
(10:30pm, I board bus)
(finds a seat and minds own business by looking out of window)
(10 minutes later, old man comes and sits close to me) (I take no notice)
(another 10 min pasts. I'm still looking at window.) (Man pokes me on shoulder)
(I look at him questioningly) (He points at wrist, asking for time) (I tell him the time)
Old man (in chinese): You still a student?
Me: -nod- (I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE IGNORED HIM. I FUCKING SUCK @_@)
Old man: What grade?
Me: 4. (I SUCK @_@)
Old man: What's your name?
Me: (randomly thinks up of name, other than my own) Xinyi. (Blunder again. My name is Xinni, so what does one letter matter? I should have said something like Bella or Alice @_@)
Old man: (reaches out hand)
Me: (I shake it)
I fucking suck.
I fucking suck.
I fucking suck.
I fucking suck.
I've always taught myself to be polite and kind to the elderly. That's why I replied him and shook his hand. I'm a fucking retard. I will never ever tell strangers any personal info. WHY DID I DO THAT? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY??
Old man: (asks a question I cannot decipher)
Me: Huh?
Old man: (repeats question)
Me: Huh??
Old man: (repeats question again)
Me: Huh???
Old man: (repeats question again again)
Me: (tired of deciphering, so I shrug)
Old man: Want to have a meal?
Wtf. Wtf. Wtf. Wtf. Wtf.
Do I seriously look so stupid?
To accept a meal from an old man?
Then what? Follow him to his house and have sex with him afterwards?
Seriously?
I smiled and shook my head.
DESPITE ALL THIS, I'M STILL BLOODY POLITE!!
At the start, I should have said "Sorry I don't know you, and I won't tell you"
I should have ignored him when he probed.
But I thought he was a harmless old man!!
Oh god. I can be mean, rude and bitchy. Yet, I don't use it in the right situations.
I felt bloody weird. I thought, God, I better leave right now.
The bus stop happened to be the stop I was going to drop at.
So I pressed the button and muttered byebye. And then I stood up.
The bus shook.
It shook.THE FUCKING BUS HALTED TO A STOP AND SHOOK.
I fell down.
Old man reaches out arms to catch me.
I sidestepped, grabbed a pole.
Was damn scared. Restrained self from murdering bus driver.
Hurried out.
OLD MAN FOLLOWS ME DOWN.
I get fucking scared. WHY? WHY?
I still had to walk home. The road is long, deserted and dark.
I run to the nearest guy.
Asks him for help, this guy is following me and I want to shake him off.
The guy is old too. He's in his 40s. But he looks decent.
He is nice. He accompanies me home.
(It would be ironic if he were a bad guy too, but i took the chance. i acted on impulse, i was afraid.)
I keep looking back. Old man sensed I was not alone and walks the other way.
I never saw him again. Although it happened yesterday night.
In the future, I will
1. try to move away if old man sits with me
2. ignore whoever needs help/wants to talk to me. or at least, help the person once and ignore if other personal questions ensue.
3. sit in a place where no one can sit next to me. be selfish. and safe.
Was I being too paranoid?
Let's say he was ~*
harmless*~
He wanted to know my name and shit cos he wanted to be
friends.
He asked whether I wanted to eat out of
goodwill.
He didn't follow me out, that was
his stop too.
No. It wasn't like that.
I must not be polite to strangers.
I will not.
I hate myself ;-;
Labels: idiots
Monday, November 17
WHY AM I TOUCHING THAT ZIT??
STOP
Labels: pimples
ZITSI have this catastrophically enormous, disgusting zit!!
It exploded yesterday cause I squeezed it. Blood, pus.
Then there was a clot. It's now a horrible shade of red. So the clot is blocking it, and it'll take longer to heal.
I want it gone by Wed. I have a course. I can't be seen like this.
But I know it's already booked a fortnight on my chin.
There was this zit on my nose a few months back.
I left it alone.
It stayed with me for almost a year.
I
SWEAR. It really,
really liked me.
I squeezed it out. No scar. It left forever.
Squeeze zits or not squeeze?
Conclusion: Squeeze the small ones like whiteheads. Leave big pustules alone.
Acne is disgusting. Disgusting.
Half my fault. I only started washing my face June '08. I sleep at 2am.
Then again, why me? Why did acne choose me?
I feel unfortunate, disgusted at my face.
I wish the big zit will go away.
calmdownbreathecalmdown!!!!!!
Labels: pimples
Friday, November 14
ONE!I got a merit award.
Consolation.
I looked at the top 3 though, I realised what I did wrong.
They were good. But not so good to go "whoa" over. But they deserved it. =D
I would have been ranting now but..
I won merit PLUS THE LUCKY DRAW!!!
Okay so I was like seething with rage when I got my merit award and they went like "Now we'll give out the lucky draw prizes!!"
And they started calling out numbers and I was telling myself "If the first prize winner is a lucky draw winner I might stab her".
Overwhelming with jealousy, I chanted "37! 37! 37! 37!" in my head just as the last number was about to be called.
And then the guy went "37! Number 37!"
It was like he
heard me. He heard me chant in my head.
I couldn't believe it. My face spelt "WTF" all over.
I won the lucky draw prize. By chanting my number in my head.
Gotta remember that next time.
(Do you know the lucky draw prize is worth more than the bloody merit award? It's like the person spends effort to design a fucking skin for an iPod but gets less shit than the person who's just lucky. I might have killed myself if I hadn't got that lucky draw prize.)
And I'm going to wrap my mp3 pretty pretty.
TWO!I want this bag.
I want this bag.
I want this bag.
I want this bag.
62 bucks.
Can you imagine it? People buying fugly bulky crumpler bags for 110 bucks, when you can get THIS bag for sixty.
Crumplers are the epitome of hideousness! Burn, crumplers. Burn.
THREE!I want to learn driving next year, but I don't think I'll have the time.
I really want to get a license when I'm 18. ;-;
I want to drive to JC
FOUR!I fucking hate smokers. Feel free to incinerate your lungs, but don't do the same to mine.
It's inconsiderate and uncool.
Labels: driving, pandabag
Wednesday, November 12
I won this fucking design competition and they never BOTHERED to tell me what place I was. It means I'm probably not first/second/third.
IF THEY WERE GOING TO LET ME FRET LIKE THIS MIGHT AS WELL NOT PHONE ME!!
I don't want to go. I don't want to hear that I got a miserable consolation. It'll be such a fucking big dent to my ego.
I've always wanted to be the best but I know I'm not and will never be. I just don't need/want confirmation in this kind of thing. Which is why I refrain from joining competitions. Stupid CCA.
Stupid.
http://www.asknlearn.com/myiclassic/index.htmlLook at the prizes and see 3rd prize is. Hell, 2GB thumbdrives are $12. I don't own a stupid iPod and I can download photoshop from the internet anytime.
It means third prize is $12.
No way. Nooooooo way.
I'll try to tell myself that it wouldn't matter. This competition won't be a judge for my abilities. After all I didn't care to design a good design. It was something I wanted to get over with asap. Something I joined to fulfill the requirements of the CCA.
I wonder if I'll ever draw again. I wonder if I'll ever design again.
/cry
/slashes wrists
Monday, November 10
It's gone.
I lost the first library book I've ever borrowed.
I lost the first library book I've ever borrowed.
I lost the first library book I've ever borrowed.
I lost the first library book I've ever borrowed.
I lost the first library book I've ever borrowed.
I lost the first library book I've ever borrowed.
I lost the first library book I've ever borrowed.
You suck musho.
I've never imagined myself to be so incredibly absentminded.
I went every where, every bus.. Left contact number everywhere.
Please contact me.I was very sad, until I saw a notice on the MRT.
It said '
MISSING'. It was a boy, around 7 years of age. Smiling, grinning at me. Looked happy. Good-natured. Haunting look. Last seen in Bedok.
Wow. Parents must be upset. Boy may be dead. He may have been sold to a street circus. Someone may have cut off his limbs and used him to beg for money in some ulu street in Thailand.
Okay, I thought to myself. Okay. The loss of a library book isn't as upsetting as that.
So I prayed for the boy to be found and made off.
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