Saturday, January 30
Subjects.
I DON'T NEED TO DO CHINESE FOR THE REST OF MY FUCKING LIFE! HA HA HA!!!!!
"Congrats! You've cleared the ELL test. This message is from HCI ISP. Do not reply to it."
Lolololllll @ "Do not reply to it".
I cleared the AEP and ELL test but I'm not going to take those subjects!!!
FUCK LAH I've been aiming to do these subjects since 2009! What is wrong with me!!!
Instead I'm probably going to do some shitty combination like Math Econs Computing Chem.
If I go with my goal, Math Econs ELL Art.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO PICK!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Can some AEP or ELL person talk to me!!!!
SOY'B
Made $50 in commissions and $143 for clay!! Total almost $200.
Now we're fucking busy. We've to make like 29 charms and mail them out. Shit!
Regardless, it was a fun experience.
We thought we'd sell nothing.
But...We were swarmed with orders at one time and our table got messier and messier.
It was a crazy clay making and drawing spree.
There were one or two dicks but the rest went smoothly.
My last commissioner was this guy who asked me to draw this blonde girl Saber.
He left me his phone because inside his phone got pictures of Saber.
Then he didn't come back for more than half an hour!!!
He started to get msges and everytime there was a new msg, this 5 min japanese song played!!!
GAH!!!
He didn't come back even after we've packed everything up!
I was desperately looking out for phone man..!
Finally he came and janice and I both laughed at him bitterly and left him all guilty. Hahah! Anyway, he was so shy. Apparently, Janice said he went into the male toilet (our booth opp male toilet what the fuck) and then came out and straightaway went to my booth and said "WILL YOU REALLY DRAW ANYTHING?" lol!
I'm so happy i can sell stuff nowwwwwwwww with a good business partner too!
Friday, January 29
Orientation sucks!
I disliked my orientation group (OG) right from the start. Of course, this is completely my fault because they didn't do anything to me before I started hating them. I just don't click with everyone in the group (although I never tried to talk to them). OK I know I'm being unreasonable but I don't like my OG!! Okay!! I wish I had a friend in it!
And then there is this boy whom abigail and I went movies/shopping with and he's damn scared of me! (this is not related to how i was giving him cold treatment when he was with us but w/e i pretty much dislike him although he tried to be nice to me)
I don't really want to get to know them since i'm going to be with them for only 4 days.
They don't need me anyways. I am always in the corner lagging behind (although I never tried to be part of them). I ponned most of orientation. Yay for sleeping in the library!
OK I know
I'm an antisocial shitty bitch! I can't help it! I just don't like this at all! :( I don't want to know new people and I have scopophobia!
Anyway, soon we're gonna have classmates! I better pretend to be nice and happy and introduce myself to everyone so that I can fit in!! Although I'll probably still be my miserable self. I suck.
Subject combi
"Hi, it is very unlikely to have your subject combination accepted. However you can still appeal by...... blablablabla"
OMG! I may end up doing subjects I absolutely dislike! Bla!!
Thursday, January 28
SOY'B: 30 JAN!
Attention to all Singaporeans!
There will be an anime/cosplay event on 30 Jan.
It's called SOY'B.
Time, place: Ngee Ann Poly, 11am - 6pm
Info:http://soy-japtsubasa.net/
Janice and I have registered a booth selling adorable charms and on-the-spot art (sketches mostly)
My booth is C12.
You can come if you're interested in anime/cosplay/our stall :) However, please don't come to my booth and say "Hi... i read ur blog" hor!!! I'll be freaked out!!!
AEP
The past 2 days was hell. Why do I always push work till the last minute!?
Seriously, 5 A3 observational drawings in 2 days? What was I thinking?
Didn't even to get sketch my overall picture before the test..
Slept only three hours...
Anyway, art as a subject is really not for me. I should continue improving in my own way.
Although I have learnt alot from this experience (eg. drawing trees and snakes and floor tiles and garden hoses) it was just too torturous and stressful and expensive. Even though I like snakes alot now..!!
Mr Tan said "We accept you but we really want the best for you... we want you to choose the subjects best for your future".
(He knows.. I am not suitable for art..)
My efforts were "commendable" for such a short amount of time for preparation (6 days). If they knew i did nothing the first 4 days D: D: D: I'll be slaughtered
Meh, I probably will choose another subject.
The teachers are great patient people. I feel so bad for wasting their time.
Still I feel proud of myself for taking the test and completing it! :)
Not like the other dude who was supposed to take the test with me but backed out and left me alone drawing in the fine arts studio!! :@
Mr Tan: Interesting bag... dog ah?
Me: *shock* No, panda!
Mr Tan: Ooops sorry.. heheheh
Reasons why I should not take Art:
- I can't do and I hate observational drawing
- I can only draw cartoons
- I have no experience in painting
- I am OK with copics but they are fucking expensive.. imagining covering A3 papers with copics -dies-
- I never sketched... I don't like redoing things.
- I don't know how to observe art and write essays about them
- I don't like planning for my artwork, i just draw straight
Reasons why I should take Art:
- I want to improve.
Labels: aep, soy'b
Monday, January 25
FUCK.
Saturday, January 23
I went for the AEP interview. AEP is where you do Art for 'A' Levels.
It couldn't be more horrible.
First, I took 45 minutes to find the place... with the help of 3 teachers. And then I was 7 minutes late. How can I be late for an interview?! I suck!!!
When I arrived, I was all red and sweaty and gross and my hair was wiry and all over the place. Felt damn weak because haven't eaten the whole day and was running 45mins.
And then I thought that there was only one teacher interviewing me. Turned out to be 3 art teachers!!!!!!! I felt so...
small. Or cornered. IDK. It wasn't what I expected at all. :(
And that's not all... the computer kept jamming at my portfolio and it lead to awkward, silent moments. I had already planned what to show them first and last, but due to the jamming, I had to show them some traditional art while waiting for the digital ones to load.
OH NOT ONLY THAT! I had a cold too but I didn't want to stir up anything by blowing my nose. So I was trying to hold in all the gunk in my nose. GRSOS!!!! GROSS!!!
This was just the start of it.
Lulu says I was giving off 'TROUBLED KID' vibes, and I think she's right.
They saw my sec3 grades - 50+ marks avg - and sec 4 grades - a jump to 75+ avg.
So they enquired, why was i forced to drop aep? Why did I fail all my subjects in my first year in NY? What caused my change in attitude.. ?
I never prepared for this interview (planned to answer everything honestly) so this was unexpected! I still went with my only plan, that is, to answer honestly.
So I had to tell them the whole story, like I used to be very slacky and basically a shitty student.
My worst mistake: Tell them about the boarding school and my dysfunctional family.
I started tearing.
I don't know. Usually when I tell my friends about my family and stuff, I'll tell them in a near angry tone like, WHAT THE FUCK LAH HOW CAN SHE DO THIS TO ME RIGHT? I guess it's because I was talking to 3 strangers.
Then they were like *kind look* We know a school counselor. We want the best for you, we'll help you call the school counselor so that you can talk to her.
Then I started crying.
I think maybe it was the 'school counselor' word. They didn't know I've lost all my trust in adults. OK, Look at what the counselor I sought help from did to me. Asked all my ex-teachers about my past, told them about me, didn't respect my privacy and told me to give it up and not interfere, scolded me about my past, told me I didnt have a normal mind, thought that being in boarding school solved everything. (ha, and i'm gonna move out in a few days. u think everything's solved huh)
Anyway... my tears didnt fall or anything lah... my eyes were just damn watery and my mucus was slowly dripping out. FUCKING, FUCKING GROSSSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I used jacket sleeve to wipe. I AM GROSS OKAY!!!!! For some reason I didn't want to search my bag for my tissue and interrupt everything. Part of me was still denying that I was crying.
OK, so I just revealed my troubled past to 3 teachers ... who I have to see the next 2 years, even if they don't teach me!!!! What happened to me keeping a low profile and hoping everyone treats me like a normal kid in junior college? I suck!
wAHLAO... OK, they said I have potential and my work is quite ok for a self taught person... then they gave me 6 days to prepare for a test (wasted 2 days doing nothing, so 4 days) whereby I need to submit
FIVE A3 PREPARATORY OBSERVATIONAL DRAWINGS and then go sit a test and
complete a painting in 3 hours!!!
Let me tell you why this is tough.
1. I never sketched in my fuckin life!
2. I never painted except on my shoes!!
3. I've never drawn a big picture before! (unless forced to)
4. Wtf is observational drawing!? I have only done that once during my AEP test 5 yeaRS AGO!!11 Now I have to do 5xA3 observational drawings!!
5. I only draw cartoons.
6. I have to draw nature/trees/real life things. DIE!!!
Oh.. and..
I only have mechanical pencils. Which are so sharp, they are unerasable.
I'm fucking dead lol.
Anyway, the teachers said I'm suitable for AEP but they don't know if AEP is suitable for me since my art is very one direction and commercialized, you know? I agree with them lah! But I want to take art because I want to learn new stuff like painting and drawing bodies but being a newbie, it's not good to take this risk (for A levels esp... may fail because im a noob and not very good)
That's about it. I'm going to do my AEP test research like a no lifer now. I'm wasting my 4 days here blogging. I suck@!
Labels: aep
Tuesday, January 19
Calling all HCJC students!!
My friends and I are going to start a new CCA called the
Animal Appreciation Club.
It's for animal lovers and you don't necessarily have to be vegan.
We already have a proposal draft and a few prospective teachers to be our mentor (not asked yet) and about 8 future members.
Attractions:
- We're going to do CIP at the SPCA and help them sell stuff. All profits will go to them.
- Besides that we can also make some handicrafts and sell to draw funds for SPCA.
- This is good for your portfolio and also if you want to be a doctor/vet in the future
- Cat feeding sessions at HDB blocks? :DDDDD
- Animal documentary/movie screenings
- Make posters to help raise awareness about abuse and about the benefits of being vegetarian (anything that helps animals)
- LOTS MORE! Haha we have lots of stuff in our proposal!
Just tell me your name if you want to join! It's a secondary CCA, come if you can/if you want to. It's non commitment (but we'd prefer if you be active to help our animal friends) so you can just sign up and come for the stuff you're interested in.
Come be our first few members!!! :)
Monday, January 18
New School
Yay I'm a junior college student how cool is that!
Anyway, today I noticed..
A SHARP INCREASE of people wearing contact lenses!
A SHARP INCREASE of people with changed hairstyles and with perfectly cropped bangs!
A SHARP INCREASE of people with new bags!
Hmmmmm... wonder why?
Nah, it's not because they're in junior college! It's not because there are boys!
It must be a coincidence! :o
Maybe I should wear contacts to fit in??
Anyway, just 30mins after we stepped into school, we were given an ESSAY TEST! After the test we had one hour of MATH!
...history of the potato. lololol
Shoes
Anyway, 2 strangers complimented my shoes! Happy :)
Some stared at my feet.
Anyway, something made me very sad..
Me: Look at my shoes!!! (I expect ppl to tell me its nice bcos even if it's shit ugly people will still say its nice)
TJ: How much you selling?
Me: I'm not selling, I'm wearing them!
TJ: If you sell, how much will you sell?
Me: About
30+.
TJ: LOL
I see in mall only
$15.
Me: ..Handpainted?
TJ: Ya.
Me: Where?
TJ: Lot1 second floor pushcart
EHHHHHHHH!????
Please tell me this isn't true!!!
It cost me $9 to buy the shoes and almost 2 hours to decorate it!!
How are my efforts worth only $6? I feel so disappointed.
I see blogshops selling opiang (ie. ugly) drawings of chibi korean singers on shoes for $30+, thats why I also charge 30+!
But why are handpainted shoes now $15?
I'm going to LOT1 and check!!!!!
Anyone verify this..?
Fuck
Fuck subject combi fuck
Sunday, January 17
Good progress award
I got it! Because my grades went up (... MSG 3+ to 1+)
They are going to present me with $200 when I go to school or something.
Mum: You got the good progress award, $200.
Me: OK.
Mum: So, are you going to contribute some to grandpa's medical fees?
Me: *turns to dad* you can deduct $200 from my pocket money.
Mum: *goes into hysterics* I TOLD YOU NOT TO GIVE HER ANYMORE MONEY!!!!!
lol.
Drag image to address bar to see full size.
Resolutions
I like the animals.
Shoes!
Did my custom shoes in a rush.
Lineart: 10minutes
Paint: 1.5 hours
Tomorrow I'm going to wear this to school with one purple sock and one beige sock.
I hope the drawing stays T-T
First time using paint in 4 years.
First time using paint properly in my life.
I only painted last time because the school forced me to.
Painting is not that bad but I'll choose markers anytime.
Gahhh. New school tomorrow. Hair keeps curling upwards and looks shaggy. Shit..
Saturday, January 16
KYAAAA CHINESE
EYYAAAAAAAA I GOT B4 FOR HIGHER CHINESE THIS MEANS I HAVE TO DO CHINESE THIS YEAR OMG I HOPE NOT CAN I APPEAL I REALLY HATE CHINESE PLEASE PLEASE DONT MAKE ME DO THIS WHY OH WHY DID I GET B4 MAYBE I DONT NEED TO DO MAYBE THE TEACHERS WERE SCARING ME
IB
Brother: Congrats! Dr Ong didnt accept you into IB
Me: yay
HAHAHAH DUH HAHHAHA
Update on pimple
I was at KFC with lulu and I felt this hard little dot on my face.
I scratched it off. I didn't mean it, it's like a reflex - not something i can control.
like picking your nose
Anyway, blood started
gushing oozing out, so I took a tissue to absorb the blood.
A few minutes later, oil started to come out. Used tissue to absorb that too.
Turns out that was
the pimple. (see prev posts)
Yay! Then it went all flat and i held the tissue there to absorb all the blood and pus.
Now all that's left to clear is... the 5mm in diameter reddish brown scar!!!! Whoopee i'm so excited!!!
Damn it, fuck off pimples!!!!
Boarding school
My mother's been calling the baording school staff everyday to harass them to withdraw me..... so anyway... my dad doesn't want this (send me to boarding school) anymore.. so i guess my mother's won. Fuck. Fuck all this.
What i can do it get my stay extended for 3 more months.. then I'll move back
to hell home. Even my dad's unwilling to do this.
I really don't get it. Children can only wish that their father loved their children more than his wife.
Sadly, I was born in this fucked up family.
Well, maybe I'm just being selfish? For putting my dad and the boarding school staff through all this so that I myself can live normally? I still tell myself, why should I blame myself for wanting a normal life, and it's not my fault my father refuses to send my mom to a mental hospital anyway. I'm so confuzzled.
So.. home. I'll be reunited with all my old friends. The cockroaches, the rats and the 2 metre piles of junk. Back to having dinner at 10pm - 2am. Back to being not allowed to turn the heater on or wash my hair. Back to having to use a public toilet to wash my clothes and looking down in shame when a stranger comes into the toilet to see us washing clothes. Or being smelly because I'm wearing clothes not washed for 6 mths. Back to being used to have scars and bitemarks on my arms. Back to hearing cheebye 20 times a day. Back to not having a bed or table to do my work... my grades are sooo gonna drop!
I am still so angry that the school and the counselor dare tell me to bear all this and not interfere with my parents affairs.
I can only hope I have a room and a bathroom with NONE of my mother's junk. Then I'll buy a fridge, a table, shelves, bed(s for me and bro), oven to cook my own dinner and nutella bread sticks, wardrobe, and so many things we don't have. And I really hope I can lock this room and keep the keys.
Anyway can anyone tell me how to cook dinner. Like what I need and stuff. Microwave? Oven? Any websites for recipes?
Art
Drag image to address bar to full view!
Aiyah fuck lah I havent done anything to get into Art this year. I can't really draw anyway. As u can see, these drawings are only about 500px. So how can I do proper A3 stuff? It's so hard hahahah I can only do small drawings of cartoon people and cute stuff and I absolutely cant do other things.
Pangya
Back to pangya bby!
Been losing like shit recently after leveling to Beginner E.
I think I may have lost interest in pangya :(
School
Fuck! Fuck! Fuck! New school on monday.
I don't want to go to school... boo
This is depressing
I am antisocial
I look mean and unapproachable and ugly
I gained 7kg
I cut my hair too
spock short
I am not a nice person
I haven't drawn my custom shoes
I have no experience with males
I have pimples
And worse of all..
I have to wake up at 6:15am.
...which is impossible because I have to set alarm at 3pm to wake myself up.
Clay
Sob :( Polymer clay is so hard to work with. So is baking polymer clay.
It's sticky, messy, hard..
Oh, the amount of stuff we have to read!
Anyway have to spam make! Bring to school and make charms!!!!!
Because we already have a SOY'B booth :)
Anyways we already earned $30! We finished making 15 heart bottles for this girl.
...
Wow this was such a long and depressing post. I am so sorry.
Labels: art, boarding school, clay, fuck my life, hwachong, pimples
Sunday, January 10
ARGH!!!!!!!!! I CAN'T STAND IT!!!!
MY DAD'S A FUCKING PUSSY!!!!!
Ok. So here's the long story cut short. My mother is trying to force me to
1) move out to boarding school back to my dysfunctional family and
2) transfer schools to the ACS (I) IB program.
This is so that....
My brother and I can go home together!
Because, well, that's what a 'decent sister' is supposed to do, and because my 14 year old brother supposedly inherited his father's pussy genes and can't go home by himself.
Yeah, I know. All sisters try to switch to their brothers' schools to accompany them home... :)
....
SOO my mother wrote a withdrawal letter to the boardingschool director.
And my
DAD SIGNED IT, UNDER DURESS.
FUck, fuck FUCK why is he such a PUSysy!!!!!!
Not only that!
I just found out that
my dad's relative cheated him of $50,000!
FIFTY FUCKING THOUSAND!
I can go to america more than 10 times!!!!!!! I can go to an american university for a year! I can start my own REAL business!
Who the fuck in the right mind will lend anyone $50000!!!
Oh and guess what?
My dad's relative died of brain tumour. So unless we can bring a corpse to court, there's no way we'll get it back.
This happened 5 years ago. The police won't care!
My dad's relative still has a wife and daughter (who teaches biology in gan eng seng secondary)
I DON'T CARE!!!!!!!!! i"M GOING TO GAN ENG SENG SECONDARY TO FIND THAT WOMAN AND GET BACK MY DAD'S $50000!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
....soon.
To tell the truth, I really don't know what to do.
WHYYYYYYYYYYYYY ISSSSSSS MYYYYYYYYYY FAMILYYYYYYY LIKEEEEEEE THATTTTTTT !!!!!!!!1!!
I'M SO FRUSTRATED!
I HAVE TO FIGHT SO MUCH FOR A NORMAL LIFE, IT'S JUST NOT FAIR.
...
Anyway, I went to the boarding school office and told Ms Goh that my dad was forced to sign the withdrawal letter. She told me not to worry lah.... ask my dad talk to the boarding school director... try to cancel the withdrawal letter. Oh, and i think all the staff know about my dysfunctional family.
(And ironically, the boarding school director was the one who had to settle the dispute of my mom withdrawing me from my USA trip. Poor lady.)
I remember what my weird roomate, Kintan, asked me once.
"If your dad had an affair with Ms Goh, will you mind?"
I answered no.
PLEASE. ANYTHING, ANYTHING TO FREE ME FROM HER.
WHY IS MY DAD A PUSSY!!!!!! WHY DOES HE LISTEN TO MY CRAZY MOTHER!!!!!!
I'm so frustrated.
Labels: family
Saturday, January 9
More random crap...
***
HOLY SHIT!
im in love with adam lambert's voice!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's like an angel!!!!!!
I don't care if it's fucking autotuned but i hope not.
This is the first time I fell in love with someone's voice!!!!!!!!!!
*swoon*
***
Anyway, due to spock hairstylist, i've started cutting my own hair with my $1.50 scissors.
I cut it too short.
Fucking ugly.
fuglyyyyyyyyyyy
please grow out!!!!!!!! I want to cut you again!!! Need major restyling because I don't want my bangs to contain hair from the sides but from the center of the head.
Anyone know where to get hair thinner? The one they use in QB House.
***
I'm fucking busy and I haven't started on (let alone complete) my art portfolio for this year!!! Aiya whatever I think I'll just send my sketches on my chem worksheets & exam papers etc.
I can't scan them cos i dont have a scanner. Boo!!
Anyway I don't think I'm going to be a science student which I think is such a waste..... :(
***
Any1 knows where to get catnip in singapore?
I want to rub some on my socks so that cats won't ignore me anymore.
IB? seriously?
Yesterday, my mom called me up to harass me, once again, about transferring to the IB (International baccalaureate) program in ACS.
This is so that I can move out of the boarding school, stay with my dysfunctional family and so that
my father can drive me and my brother to school together every day. (even though I insist I will take the bus or drive to school myself and i want dad to get more sleep.)
I have no idea wtf IB is, but..
According to her:
- Hwachong Junior College (the school i'm attending this year) CANT COMPARE to IB, even though hcjc has been the top one or two schools the past few years.
- I can be one of the top students in IB
(PUI PUI!!!) if i work hard
-I can go back to hwachong once i decide IB is no good.
OK. Let's see.
- How can I, a (below?) average student from nanyang, transfer into IB, which "is so much better than hcjc"?
- I suffer in nanyang for so many years so i can go to hcjc!! now u want me to transfer??? 要命啊！！！
- The ONLY other institution i will transfer to is Nanyang Polytechnic, because they have a cat feeding CCA!!
- I just started a business with Janice, how to keep it running if we're in different schools?
- So, I don't want hwachong cos IB is better. I go to IB. I decide that IB sucks and I want to go back to hwachong. You think hwachong = buddha??? Will take me back when I dumped it for another school?!
Besides, what crap reason is this, so that me and bro can go to school tgt?
I said no and my mom started crying and saying my dad and bro want me to go to IB but they don't dare to ask me. Bullshit.
And I won't move out of the boarding school and suffer with my family. I will never go back to live with my family again after realizing how much they (my mom) have been depriving and shortchanging me.
Business
Janice and I realized that we have to switch to polymer clay if we want to be serious in our business soooooo we went out shopping for materials and we've spent about $300 so far.
Luckily we have our first customer!!! :) Who ordered $30 worth of charms from us.
I learned that research is v. important if you want to go into polymer clay. We bought the wrong oven and we have to return it.
..........
I should stop spending so much~~!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Now i have like 13 soaps to finish using.
And like 10+ facial masks ingredients.
I shall list the people who owe me money in case i forget:
Abigail $40
Jansen $30
Loser
OK Singapore's ruling political party is PAP
So YPAP = young PAP
This loser
Eric How from YPAP said:
Do not be bitter and go on slapping on the Government senselessly because you did not get any fruits or benefits from your forefather. You will have to blame on your karma or your forefathers for not getting all the paths right for their off springs. My folks did the right thing by getting all the stuffs ready for us and we will never ever need to nag about the Government giving jobs to foreigners instead of locals. In fact, we create jobs for others. Our folks even make sure that we guys do not need to squeeze into public transport by getting each of us a personal car.
and before he said:
I think that you guys should apologize to us instead. Sear did nothing wrong by labeling you guys as terrorists because all the people from 3in1kopitiam are just loser whining everyday and nite non stop because you’re did not benefited from the policies. Why don’t you guy work harder and make more money instead of wasting your energy whining?
If such shallow, elitist people are going to rule us in the future, I think I will migrate. Can't believe he graduated with a political science degree and still can't differentiate 'your' and 'you' from 'you're'.
I'm not going to say much because Mr Brown already said it all:
Mr Brown
Pimple
The pimple is drying up but it still looks the same. Sob :( It'll leave a huge scar.
Anyway it didn't listen to my threats.
Instead it called a bodyguard pimple to my right cheek, so now there's a pimple on each cheek. Great.
Tuesday, January 5
Why, pimple, why?
Why, big fat red
CYSTIC pimple, why?
Why did you have to make your home on my left cheek?!!!!!!!!!
Despite offering you 10% benzyl peroxide, 4.2% sulphur and 2% salicylic acid, why do you refuse to move out?!!
Because you've done this to me, I've taken your twin brother hostage.
Look at him suffer:
help me
IF YOU DON'T GET OUT BY TOMORROW, I WILL KILL YOUR TWIN BROTHER AND DISMEMBER HIM!!!!!!!
There is no use hiding.
If I look down, I can see you on my cheek without the help of a mirror because you're so big and red.
Why don't you just fuck off and leave me alone, pimple?!
Do you have to make the ugly uglier?
How can I get out of the house tomorrow?
Labels: pimples
sorry, i should have been clearer.
My penknife accidentally slashed my finger when i was cutting paper. I will never hurt myself because i am too much of a coward.
i thought it would be very painful but after I washed the wound i felt good. i dont know why.
but my life is really, really fucked.
Monday, January 4
today i saw a spider lily and felt like pollinating something, so i took the filament (?) and rubbed it against the stigma. orange pollen grains rubbed onto the stigma. i felt satisfied.
i think im depressed. i actually cut myself and felt good. what the fuck, it's all so sudden. thankfully, i got an avatar in neopets. so i feel better.
...i dont want school to start.
my family is so fucked up, i dont know what to do.
Friday, January 1
Random 1
It's new years. Of course, if 2010 won't be any different from the previous years... it will be filled with bullshit and pimples.
No, actually, it'll be filled with more bullshit and pimples.
Random 2
The mole on my middle finger grew 0.2mm in diameter. Why is this happening.
Lulu says when you grow old, all your moles will turn into warts.
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH
Random 3
The person who stays opposite me put up a DBSK poster on her door. When I go out, the first thing I see will be is... ah... "U-KNOW YunHo" and "HERO JaeJoong" and "XIAH JunSu" and "MICKY YooChun" and "MAX ChangMin". Not good at all. Heard they're breaking up though? :D
Random 4
Me: So how did you find my blog?
A reader who added me on MSN: I searched 'shírlene tíeh' and found your blog.
...Something is wrong with my blog.
Very wrong.
The reader who added me on MSN: She seems pregnant..?
Me: She's always pregnant.
Random 5
Ahhhh!! This is bad. Recently I'm being woken up by the dinner bell .. which rings at 6pm. Yes I've been sleeping at 7am and waking up at about 5-7pm!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I sleep when I should be waking up!!!!!!
No wonder I always fall asleep in school. Look at my optimum sleeping time.
I should reset my body clock now. now. now. now.
Random 6
Feeling shortness of breath lately like I'm going to stop breathing any moment.
Roommates, please come back so my decomposed body won't be found out due to the overpowering stench :(
Maybe this is just psychological. I hope I don't have lung cancer from eating two packets of instant noodles everyday. (I will stop)
Random 7
I really should make a new blog layout.
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