Sunday, February 28
Stupid!!
AHHHHHHHASFDADS WHY DID I WAKE UP AT 3:30pm NOOOOOOOO
NOOOOooooO
Classmate #1 in the previous post has been bugging me a million times to credit him or he will sue me for
plagiarism, so here I am, forced to blog a post before charges are pressed against me.
OK, Classmate #1's name is
ISAAC LEW
I am so grateful to him for his funny comments, I shall post a full profile of him here so that you can admire him all you want!
Height: 152cm (?)
Weight: 90kg (?)
Hobbies: Singing in the shower and fantasizing about wayne rooney (in the shower?)
Likes: Chemistry (a
lot.)
Favourite food: Low-grade candy
Favourite music: Screamo and metal
Greatest accomplishment: Has more friends than me on facebook despite only signing up a few days ago.
Never mind the fact that I only have 100 friends.
*I will not be held responsible for the accuracy of this biography
OK! That's about all I know
Thank you, Isaac, for contributing to my previous post! Hope that you are very happy now.
Where is my good progress award $$?
Where is my good progress award $$?
Where is my good progress award $$?
Where is my good progress award $$?
Hair
I know that like 80% of the population has my hairstyle, but seriously, the amount of hairstyles we can choose from is very limited. Let me list all the hairstyles you can have:
Length:
Short
Long
Fringe:
None/Center parting
Side parting
Straight fringe
So you can only choose from 6 hairstyles in total.
And obviously some hairstyles look better than the others (eg. Short/center parting
(OMG MY EX HAIRSTYLE) VS Long/side parting).
In fact, no one will choose center parting/no fringe these days, so you know our choices are actually less than 6.
As for
tying up your hair in different ways.. well
If you tie two ponytails, people accuse you of acting cute.
If you tie to the side, people accuse you of acting cute (unless your personality is genuinely cute then you can pull it off very well)
You can tie in a bun but some people's hair not long enough (like mine)
You can have plaits and look like a farmgirl/look like you have a giant caterpillar as your hair
So most people just tie it up in one ponytail.
Which leads to almost all the girls looking the same.
I don't mind that. I actually want to look like everyone else. Blend in and go unnoticed.
I feel so sad lor. I cut my own hair, now it's really screwed up. It will take approx 2 years before I can make it right, but I'll probably keep cutting my own hair and let it get more screwed and screwed.
Walau, I really want to perfect cutting hair, because when I grow up I may become a hairdresser.
And I have to wait like 3 years before I can curl it. Bla!!!
STJ
STJ was fun :) I thought I will be in some corner of the table doing chem or something but we actually played some entertaining games. Yay!
People have no life and keep snapping pics despite hearing my (and jubbie's) pleas!!
Really, what is so fun about having many photos of this
in your camera?
Oh yessss!!!! Just spotted my new shirt on that photo. Look at the design!
When I first saw the shirt I was really impressed and I just had to get it.
Btw you can purchase it from www.snorgtees.com! All shirts sold in singapore are overpriced and ugly so you have to get stuff online.
Thursday, February 25
I just got my 100th friend on facebook! YAY!
why...
Why my class like that? They keep doing their homework. I get so upset whenever I see someone do a tutorial in advance.
EVEN THE BOYS. Arent boys supposed to be lazy?!?!?!? Why they all complete their homeowrk??????? During PW, almost all the boys did the homework!!!!!! WHY WHY WHY!
And I only get 4h sleep a day. Colour of eyebags near
#000000.
Math: People are finished with the tutorial and they understand graphs. I am only done with 15% of the tutorial. Lost the teacher a few lectures ago. Can't catch up anymore.
Chem: People are finished with the tutorial. I am at question 6. Does not compute latest lecture.
Econs: I fell asleep during econs today. (Today's session was so funny. Mad cow!) And I can't do the tutorial at all. Copied it all.
Computing: Believe it or not, it's NOT BAD! Today's session made me feel so accomplished! I actually made EIGHT programs. OMG. I CAN PROGRAM! OMGOMGOMG. I think i was so clueless before because we never had the chance to try programming. I caught up with most of the things today! I am so not leaving computing (for now).
GP: Presentation tomorrow. When my class was at physics, rushed to library to print a crappy boring article on political apathy. Finished preparing presentation in 40mins. I'm sure I'm gonna epic fail my GP presentation :)
PW: ....nothing done.
earphones
I wanna spend money on some really good pair of earphones even though my headphones are still working fine.
I got my Sennheisers right before every one started to buy headphones, especially those horrible audio technica onto ones. Seriously, during the IT fair, audio technica's booth had MIRRORS and I saw so many bimbos putting on those terrible pink headphones and checking out how chic they look with them!
Though, I admit I once wanted to get headphones because they looked so damn cool.
I wanted to buy this but I'm glad I settled for my ugly but awesome sounding Sennheisers. My headphones really make my music all the more eargasmic ^-^
Anyway, enough of headphones. I want a great pair of earphones cuz you don't look so antisocial with them. When you have headphones, people generally wont talk to you coz they think you can't hear them/you're being emo. And you can share earphones with people and let them listen to your music.
I'm willing to spend $200 on a pair of godly earphones because it will make music so much better ♥
abortion
My classmates are so funny!!
OK I have a classmate who's vegetarian because he doesn't believe in killing animals, which I admire greatly because I don't like to kill animals too but I'm not brave enough to go vegetarian.
So he was eating a fried egg today.
Classmate #1: Oi why you eating fried egg?
Vegetarian classmate: ?
Classmate #1: I thought you say you're VEGETARIAN
Vegetarian classmate: Yah but this is not meat ..?
Classmate #1: You're killing animals too. YOU EAT EGG, THIS IS LIKE ABORTION.
Classmate #2: .....the egg isn't even fertilized!
Classmate #1: And why you eat plants? PLANTS ARE LIVING THINGS TOO.
Vegetarian classmate: I don't eat plants I eat what? Eat stones issit?
Classmate #1: ...Cannot! Stones have the MICROORGANISMS inside!
LOL hours of endless amusement!
art club :)
First session of art club was cool :) Other than the fact that we all went to eat at the place I have dinner at every single day. And that I was so tired from today.
People there actually know 1. Rick Astley 2. Plants vs Zombies 3. Flying Spaghetti Monster etc etc etc. Two people know how to sing the
chinese version of rick astley.
Janice and I kept smacking our cheeks in attempt to do the water droplet beatbox. (I actually can't do it! I did it all wrong. So have to repractice new method! bla)
Some art club members kept looking at us wondering wtf we were doing. (It looks like we're deliberately hurting ourselves because no sound comes out)
A girl took a photo of us doing that lame action. Walau blame my beatboxer classmate for getting us into this! Anyway, we're planning to spread the water droplet beatbox to the art club; it's so addictive!
Was a troll today too. Played plants vs zombies ending song out loud in the restaurant. Ha!
run away
Soon I'm going to run away from home. Pack up all my things and move out while she's not in the house.
I don't know what is going to happen; Is she going to the police? Or call my school/my friends up? Follow me to school and find out where I stay and harass me at my new place? How am I going to ignore her calls?
Idk anymore. I wish I could avoid doing all this.
Labels: family
Wednesday, February 24
I am seriously considering..
I am seriously considering renting my third locker and buying a pillow + sleeping mat + blanket. Then I can make a bed on the school benches and sleep during my long breaks. (3 hour break on tuesday!!1)
I am seriously considering getting birth control pills to stop those !*(@&89;*(! pimples from coming. The problem is how.
"What are those pills?"
"Birth control. but i use them for pimples."
"wtf."
ARGH
ARGH OMG MY BLOODY ITUNES APP JUST GAVE RANDOM ALBUM ART AND LYRICS TO ALL MY SONGS!! Now I've to go deleting the album art!!!!!!! I mean, having
on "Repeaterbeaters" by "Mew" is just so wrong!!!!!
SCrew IT!
Waste my time!! I got a GP article due tmr and 90% of my hw undone!!!!!!! Now I've to spend like 3 hours reorganizing everything ARGH
fuck
she's raping all my things
using all my things (and clothes..)
taking away all my things
and i'm stuck here
OI!!!
OI!!! Who's the loser who made my blog's pageviews 140 in a day?!!! Seriously stop auto refreshing this page whoever you are!!!! You're giving me inaccurate stats!!!
YESSSSS I CAN DO THE WATER DROPLET BEATBOXING THINGY MENTIIONED BELOW AHHHHHHHH I AM JUMPING FOR JOY SERIOUSLY OMGGGGGGGG *does it one million times* MY CHEEKS LOOK LIKE THEY JUST GOT SLAPPED 19289018390213 TIMES BUT AHHH *makes more water droplet sounds* HAPPY HAPPY ACCOMPLISHED AHAHAHA
Tuesday, February 23
omegle.com
Me: Hi
Me: I'm really sad
Me: My last conversational partner disconnected on me
Stranger: Don't worry, I am here with you.
Me: So I shall do the same to you
You have disconnected.
I'm such a douche!
I heard that during physics some of my classmates went on omegle. Christ, I am a bad influence.
I am such a troll.
1) We recently had a new angel-mortal-letter box and I just decorated it.
Our class 10s6a officially has the ugliest, most annoying angelmortalletterbox ever.
You can thank me.
Go take a look.
I even wrote some song lyrics on it.
2) Our PE rep is weird. He totally polluted our class' wikispaces by requesting for a PE page. And then he posted 'Show the PE page some love!'
And I thought,
I will show it some love.
So I wrote a
lovely guide on how to skip PE.
http://10s6a.wikispaces.com/Physical+Education
Water droplet sound
I have a classmate who beatboxes, and I found it really cool that he can make a water droplet sound.
So today I went to practice.
I now have bruised and swollen and red cheeks.
It's really awesome, go try it:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6bWxejK7ojg&feature=related
But I'm happy. I did it once and I can do 20% of the sound most of the time.
Funny how I am so resolved to do useless things like these and I never touch my homework.
CAN'T WAIT TO MASTER IT AND SHOW IT OFF!!
I don't care if I tear my cheeks apart! I MUST MASTER IT!!
Sian, my face will be permanently dented le..
Monday, February 22
I am stupid
nico •° says: gl xD
but srsly, you took up computing to make cheat programs? xD
I just realised this. I took up computing to make cheat programs.
And hopefully games, when you can just use flash.
What a dumb reason to waste my future!!!!!!!!
My prediction 2 years later: Get C for A levels and go to lousy course in NUS
Why can't the computing teachers answer our questions?
Us: What is the essence of the system?
Teacher: *rambles for 5 min about something unrelated*
Me: What were you before you became a computing teacher?
Teacher: In university we learnt Csharp and java..
One week. You have one week to catch up Musho.
practice!
(I will, tomorrow) (And that's what I always say.)
I need computing tuition!!
Whats wrong?
I don't know what is wrong with me. I think I've gotten so depressed that I've started becoming a total troll, online and in real life.
I'm so screwed hahahahah.
So today we had a CT session where your form teacher talks to your class about important matters. We got the computer room and I started to go on omegle. (I love you hwachong, you block everything but omegle!)
And then I began trolling. The usual lame stuff like "
I LOVE YOU MARRY ME" or "
HELP ME WITH MATH WHAT IS x^2 + 5x + 9 = 0" and random shit I could think of. I was so absorbed with omegle that I was oblivious to the class watching me being a lame shit and ignoring my form teacher.
How did I find out? I asked janice casually "
When i was omegling how many people were watching me..?"
And the reply was "
Er, almost the whole class?"
I almost died on the spot. I felt so damn terrible and embarrassed!
I recall the form teacher talking about
!!testimonials!! and some classmates watching me omegle, but almost the whole class is too much. The form teacher must have a very bad impression of me now, probably will write 'musho is an asshole' in my testimonial or smth. But I don't care about that; I must have made her feel unimportant by driving my classmates' attention to something totally lame and not worth watching.
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I won't do it again. Please people, when you see me being a complete brat and oblivious to it, poke me or something, tell me to stop. Because I'm not emotionally stable right now and I'm trying to get rid of my misery by doing lame things which I find funny. Please.
Omegling is still fun though!!!!
HAHHAHAHA!
http://www.omegleconversations.com/!!
Matt the moose
Today was PE. Of course I ponned. (I have MC anyway!!) Actually, Janice and I wanted to walk while everybody ran but in the end got pang sehed because the PE teacher came :( So I trudged back to class bench.
Met lulu and she was really frantic cos she couldn't find her moose soft toy. So we went around the school finding moose.
She had a lesson in this classroom that was currently occupied by a (physics?) class. Lu suspected that she left moose there, so we kept skulking up and down outside the classroom.
Until the teacher couldn't stand it and opened the door and asked whats the matter. I ran to him and said "I'm sorry, my friend left something valuable inside, can we go find it?"
He said okay so we stepped into the class, to be greeted by a sea of "0_0" faces.
Lulu: Hi, did you see a moose around here?
Student 1: Moose?
Student 2: Moose!
Student 3: What moose?
Student 4: moose
And then we looked around and I saw moose on the floor!!!!!!!!!! Under someone's crumpler. (I told you crumplers were evil)
Picked it up and we rushed out.
Student 5: Must thank Mr Liu!
Me: Thanks Mr Liu..
LOL EPIC. EPICCCCCCC.
Disrupting a physics tutorial for a minimoose. HAHAH!
Anyway the teacher was so nice. I think the class was damn amused hahaha!!
Lu named the moose Matt.
homework
Old Musho is coming back again. I'm getting lazier and lazier, the fact that I'm blogging instead of doing my econs/math/chem/computing/gp/pw homework shows that I'm nothing but a lazy piece of crap who will fail this year.
I copied all my homework so far.
I need to get out of my house, get a table and start. studying.
Because I can't do anything in here.
Labels: homework, im terrible, moose, og, omegle
Sunday, February 21
AHHHHHHHH
OMGSHIT WEEKEND IS OVER I HAVE DONE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING ZERO NOTHING ABOUT COMPUTING, ECONS, MATH, CHEM AHHHHHHHHHH WHY AM I SUCH A LAZY BUM!!!!! WHY DID I SPEND THE WHOLE TIME SLACKING ON THE INTERNET!? I blame the poor lighting in the room. I blame the goddamn ceiling fan casting its distracting rotating shadow on my work. I bet all my classmates have been studying and only i did nothing!!! omg!!!!!
You will fail, musho, you will failllllll
failllll
faillllll
FAIL
Omegle
You know what, I am just not going to post what is happening at home anymore.
Anyway, if you're bored or depressed and you feel a need to piss people off,
www.omegle.com is the site to visit.
It connects you to a total stranger and you can chat about anything you like. Though, most people are just there for cyber sex.
Here are a few screenshots of me being a complete troll:
troll..
trolling...
this person freaks me out.
Some people are just really mean.
Everytime I tell people my name is jim, they'll disconnect :(
I talked with a fellow troll who told me he fell in love with someone who disconnected on him and he was really miserable. They talked for 3 minutes.
So yeah, i guess I just spent the whole day being a troll on omegle..
It's really fun though.
Lit/ELL?
I tried, i went to the class wikispaces to read up on my classmate's post on computing but i could not understand a single word. So I gave up reading on C++ altogether.
I am really last in class. Really, really, really. I'll give myself a week to catch up and harass the computing teachers into reteaching me everything. If I still hate/not understand computing I am just going to do ELL. Or Lit. Or AEP (although they won't accept me already..)
I hate computing I hate programming but I don't want to change class. I just don't want to be more outcasted than I already am.
I love little kids.
Friday, February 19
We all just wanna do our thing
Without the misery you bring.
Go fuck yourselves,
Leave us alone.
+1 more shitty day.
Most of today's misery comes from computing.
I absolutely despise computing. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate it. I hate this subject so much, even though I've spent less than 4 hours with it.
I've been wanting to do computing since 2008.
But attending these terrible lessons just makes me hurl.
I shall talk about the teacher. Teacher shall be named Ms X.
There is nothing redeemable about Ms X. She is the direct opposite of an attention seeker, which isn't good mind you. She is so, so, so damn typical. She doesn't try to make the subject interesting. She doesn't crack a single joke or do something lame on accident (even the most shitty of teachers will, once in a while, screw up and get laughed at in class). Her voice gets auto filtered out of our ears. Some of us are struggling to keep awake.
Most of all, she cannot teach. AT ALL. She just jumps into coding when janice and I don't know shit about it. She uses weird computery words without explaining them beforehand. I feel desperate whenever she writes all those codes on the whiteboard and we cannot keep up. (Take a HTML page for example. It's like trying to make all the links on your page have pink floating hearts on the background whenever you hover over them, but not defining how you want it to look like in the CSS section of the script. Of course the pink floating hearts wont show up, just like how we will never understand unless she defines all the words she uses clearly, in layman's terms!)
Should I even say these horrible things about her? (Of course I should not) Am I being a closeminded bitch (as usual)? Is computing really that dry and boring that no teacher can salvage it and make it seem 0.0000001% more interesting?
Back to my 2-year old dream of wanting to do computing.
How, how is she able to make me hate computing so much now?
Why do I feel like a stupid noob?
I want to drop computing, replace it with ELL or Lit.
I really don't want to change class because now Janice's in my class and we do stuff together. If I change class I won't have a friend to fool around with and I will be alone. I don't like that. But I absolutely despise computing.
It doesn't matter whose fault it is. Maybe in truth, I am just plain stupid and she's teaching us all she can already. Maybe it's the subject's fault, it can't help being boring.
I
STILL
HATE
COMPUTING
IMMENSELY!
@*&#(*@#&^*@(#&^(!!!
ELL and Chemistry
I received a message from the deputy principal saying he wanted to see me for my (or rather, my mom's 10000th) appeal to let me do ELL instead of chemistry.
So I went to his office.
Me: I know that I can't do ELL because my lessons clash with each other. But my mom keeps insisting on calling my form teacher about it. I'm so sorry; I already know I can't do ELL. This is a total waste of time for us.
Him: *stops me* Ok wait wait. You CAN do ELL. There is a possibility.
Me: There is..? 0_0
Him: Yeap. Your current subject combi is XXXX. We can let you do ELL in place of chem, but we'll have to change a few classes' timetables and you'll have to switch class to A13.
Me: 0_0
Him: We'll have to change your class' timetable too.
Me: 0_0
Him: *begins talking about university and what i want to do in the future*
Me: How long do I have to consider this..?
Him: Maybe till tomorrow?
Me: Actually I want to do ELL slightly more than chem, but this desire doesn't override my want to change class. I also don't want to affect other people's timetables.
Him: Lol ok. You think it over lah. It's only a slight change to their timetables, maybe their timetable extend half to one hour.
Me: ...If I don't want take ELL, but my mum say want, will you put me in ELL?
Him: Of course we won't. It's you taking the lessons!
Me: 0_0 ok so can you not tell my mom about this?
Him: ....Errr.. yeah. In fact I haven't told your form teacher yet. So this is like a complete private matter.
Me: Alright, please don't tell her ok!
Him: Relax, I won't.
Deputy principal rocks!!!! ♥
I don't really want to change class or affect people's timetables. I hate letting go of anything familiar.
A13. I'll be in Ares then. An arts class. This seems so surreal. Here I am in a physics class and then i change a subject, I'm in an arts class with a totally new fac.
I don't feel anything for Ares anymore. Before I entered hwachong, lu was always telling me about Ares. Silently I cheered for Ares and I felt happy for Ares whenever they won something. I hoped very much to be in Ares.
But now, I like Athena already. It's like we're always left out. We don't win anything and we're given the suckiest venues for everything. Other facs can win together, but we suffer together. It's a .. different feeling.
I don't know what the hell is wrong with me. Half accepted for AEP, half accepted for ELL, but sticking with my absolutely shitty combination. It's like giving up my dream combination for nothing at all.
Gross
Don't you hate food getting stuck in your teeth? It's so
dIsGuStInG!! Even though it is completely not your fault that you 1) Don't check yourself in the mirror after a meal 2) Have crappily arranged teeth? It is such a complete turn off.
Anyway it happened to me and you have no idea how disgusted and embarrassed I felt. I came up with a few plans..
a) After a meal do not talk for the rest of the day so that no one sees.. or talk with your mouth closed
b) don't eat veggies in school at all (they tend to be the culprits) and end up with a big butt because of all that shit buildup
c) Carry toothpicks in your pocket
d) Put a toothbrush and toothpaste in your locker and brush your teeth in school after every meal
I picked plan D.
My toothbrush and toothpaste's packed in my bag, ready for use for the rest of the year :D
Abby and I are going to brush our teeth in the school toilet together every day :D
.....self bashing
I feel so damn miserable. I finally cried out of the blue today. Broke down 3 times. Hid in my jacket and I hope no one saw. Kept going toilet to see if my eyes didn't give me away.
Firstly, it's those fucking pimples. I don't have the energy to insult pimples anymore. I always stare at people with clear skin. ESP BOYS. DAMN IT, I TAKE 10000 TIMES MORE CARE OF MY SKIN AND I HAVE 99999 TIMES WORSE SKIN THAN THEM!
Main reason is my home. Everything is so warped in here. I don't want to be part of the place. I am so scared, if I run away, she'll stalk me and find out where I live and harass my friends. I am so worried about the future.I don't want to burden my friends. But i really, really have no choice, I can't carry on living like this. I can't do everything her way, i will die.
And the lessons. I can't keep up at all. Chemistry - I can't understand one question and we're going to have a quiz. Math - I utterly fail at it. My classmates are doing everything in advance and it makes me feel so terrible and stressed. I missed the first econs lesson ever.
The worst is computing. I
hate computing. I have no idea why I picked this horrible subject. I thought I liked computers but come to think of it, I don't. I thought I liked coding which means I will like programming, but I don't! In fact, I liked to design layouts but I dreaded coding them. In computing class, I am struggling to understand. I am so behind everyone. I don't know what
#include int main(){std: cout "Hello, world!\n";}
means. I feel like a piece of shit every time my classmate sitting beside me helps me. I feel like an
utter piece of shit when other classmates already know how to program and write some weird program I don't understand. The subject is so, so dry. I feel like a prune every time I get out of computing class. And in the end, I still know nothing. Output: Zero.
I miss Lit. I like to read books more than I like computers. Fuck, I don't like computers at all. Damn it, I want to drop this subject. I want to do lit. I want to do lit! I miss you Nanyang, when everything was so easy compared to the crap I'm going through now.
And because I felt like shit today, I acted emo and antisocial. So.. many classmates avoided me. I don't know, maybe it's not because of today.
Maybe because... I am really that terrible a person. When they see me, what do they think? Ugly? Grumpy? Rude? Vulgar? Uncouth? Arrogant? Hater? Detached? Annoying? Disgusting? Come to think of it, these days I've been doing and saying annoying things to some of them. Why? Do I want to come across as an annoying person? Can't I keep my mouth
shut? Do they even want my crude opinions?
Oh not only that, I also waste food. I threw away half my plate of food in front a few of my classmates. I'm sorry, I don't normally do this. I don't know whats with with my appetite lately. I just feel really sad and I have no mood to eat. I have to force food in these days. I don't know what's going on; I really love food. On the bright side, today I felt really hungry and I finished my bowl of noodles. :)
My past. People gossip. People will judge me based on my past. Let me see. When I was 8, I stole from classmates. When I was 10, I shoplifted and was caught. When I was 11 I played with fire. When I was 13/14/15/16 I was totally immature and I was a
total BITCH. When I was 15 I sent a vulgar email to my CCA president (bad move). And so on. I've done many things I will never do again. Sometimes I don't even understand why I said/did some things in the past. But do people know that I have changed? Look at the school counselor, digging up my past and using it against me.
Wow, it seems like only now I care about what people think of me.
Should I even? I am probably thinking too much.
I don't know what the future holds for me. Maybe I'll just be an outcast for the next two years and stick with my old friends. If things continue like this, I may just drop computing, change subjects and class and be an outcast in another class. Do lit or ELL, be happier. Damn it, why am I always an outcast?!
I don't know. Maybe I'm writing and speculating all this because I feel so very miserable.
This is the most emo post I've typed. It's 1:30am. I should get off and finish at least 5% of my homework.
Tuesday, February 16
No internet..
I'm currently writing this on notepad, deprived of internet because my device killed itself. Thanks to this I am now back to drawing girls.
Wth I wished i payed attention during chem tutorial and not blindly copy janice's worksheet.. now I'm redoing the whole thing by myself without my calculator and it sucks. I am still upset that I have to study chemistry for the next 2 years.
Boo it's so tiring... 86 marks last year must have been luck @_@
I just spent 48 hours doing 6
easy questions of the tutorial. Inclusive of sleep, meals, distraction of the computer and more sleep.
And I left a few blank.
Clap for me.
Me: Whats a molecule?
Me: Whats an ion..?
Abigail: ....
I need tuition!!!! D:
"Homework, you are not attractive and I will not do you"
daily drama
Dear mother just gave my laptop 2x6cm scratches across the screen :)
I turned up the music loud because she was shouting at me and she promised not to talk when i turned off the music. So when she started insulting me I turned the music up and she slammed my laptop down. The scratches make my OCD do somersaults! I can't stand anything ugly/dirty on my property :'( Which explains why i decorate almost everything I own..
Before this, she went into the van and raided all my possessions. She dropped my things on the grass. She moved my things. Dammit, i hate people raping my things. There are things still in the van because I may run away any moment. Then my dad can just drive my things to wherever I go.
I keep telling my dad to help himself. Papa, help yourself and get a divorce. Papa, why did you marry this kind of person. Papa, why don't you send her for treatment. But no, he's in another room packing her shit. w0w, i'll be shocked if i can find another man like him in this world. I can't stand watching this unfairness going on. It is very sad to be surrounded by looney and stupid adults. My dad is such a pussy. Last year he bought a new mercedes and said 'I won't let mum put anything inside.' Look at your merc now dad. Full of her junk, how are you gonna get respect from anyone if they look into your car. I mean, if someone fucked with MY merc, they'd get it from me. How can you just let someone do this to your merc?!!!!! YOUR CAR!!!?
Now, she is going into the van raping all my belongings. She is bringing random things into the house. She is asking me "So, which XXX do you want to give to YYY?". Although I begged her a trillion times not to touch or move my things or give my things away. After all they are my things. But she has to get her hands on everything I own. First the things i bring into the house, now it's the things I don't dare to bring into the house. Yesterday, she spent the whole day going through my belongings. I don't know what she has done to them. And then when she sees some thing of mine, she'll spend 20 minutes questioning me about it. Now, some of my belongings are together with the shit in the house. I don't know how I am going to put them all back. All the things I have painstakingly organized took out, scattered apart and raped.
"You should be paying me $2000 for going through all your things. You are such an ingrate"
Thank you people who offered to help me. :D I may be renting a room soon. Soon meaning... late march. So I have to move somewhere temporary first. I don't know where though. I feel bad leeching from friends. Maybe a hotel or something.
Monday
Went out with abby on monday :)
Since my dear mom has to touch everything i own, she even set my clock 20 minutes fast, which made me arrive in orchard 30 minutes early :):)
,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,We went to uniqlo and bought furry jackets for $20.. they were originally $50. I feel like I've saved lots of money but in truth I've just spent $20. Wtf right. OMG I can't wait to wear my furry jacket. It's a purple furry jacket and it makes me look like a barney when i'm wearing my athena shirt.
Besides that, we keep stroking
ourselves our own jackets because it feels soooo nice ^_^ We just want to hug people with it!
Watched tooth fairy which wins the trashiest movie of february award.
And then we went to sephora to spray perfume on my jacket because it stank of my house.
Received a call from my mother who instructed me to go to my grandparents' house at 6.
And so I went.
Of course, of course the rest of my family weren't there. Why is it that I always predict the worse thing my mother would do, and it always happens?
So I just sat on the sofa (trying to) read my (horribly cheem) book.
Then after waiting for them for 1 hour, I received a call from her and she said she didn't want to go anymore. She blamed my dad (as usual) and said that he "played us all out" by coming 30 minutes late to pick her up.
Wah, this kind of husband very nice leh, chauffeur me around, then when i want to ditch something last minute, i just blame him for coming XXXX minutes late!
I talked to my mom's younger bro and he said that she was like that ever since she was young and it just got worse because now theres no 1 to control her. He seemed afraid to talk about her (for god knows why) so I couldn't extract much from him.
When i reached home, tried to sleep but she shouted at me for 30mins non stop.
Turned off the aircon and threatened to take away my blanket if i ever used my blanket while the aircon is on again. So I either have to 1. Have a fan (Btw the thermostat reads 31 celsius with the fan...) and use a thick blanket or 2. Use the aircon with no covers.
I. have. to. get. out.
Labels: family
Saturday, February 13
My blog will probably tear itself down after i post this picture.
AGH!! I just puked out my dinner.
Seeing this makes me want to claw my eyes out and kill a kitten. And I love kittens!
Labels: idiocy
dammit im mad!!
dammit im mad = dammit im mad spelt backwards.
This just happened:
Mum: Xinni did you take the pluck white hair thing away?
Me: ...?? what?
Mum: Pluck hair thing!
Me: Oh, you mean my tweezers? Yes, it's mine right?
(She stole it from me for dunno how long and i finally found it hanging in the toilet)
Btw, tweezers are used to shape eyebrows. I haven't used it for almost a year because no time. And also i havent professionally threaded them yet so i can't use it.
Mum: Yes that. Lend me.
Me: Please wash your face first then i can lend.
Mum: What for?
Me: Erm cos you need a clean face before tweezing your eyebrows, right?
Mum: But I dont want to tweeze my eyebrows. I want to pluck my white hair.
Me: But my tweezers are to pluck eyebrows, so i can't lend it to you.
Mum: No it's to pluck white hair. Give me!
Me: No, it's not. It's to tweeze eyebrows. If you use it to pluck your white hair you will spoil my tweezers.
Mum: Who say one? Your bro has been using it to pluck my white hair out for me and it works.
Me: (horrified at this news) Yes, but you'll spoil it this way! It's supposed to be for fine, short eyebrow hairs.!
(not your dirty, washed with handsoap once per month hair.)
Mum: Who says? Show me the instruction booklet! (..for my tweezers...?)
Me: There is none.
Mum: Then who say i cannot use to pluck my white hair?! GIVE IT TO ME.
Me: Look, look at your detergent bottle or something. Does it tell you that you can't use it to, say, ride a bike? Why does everything need an instruction booklet or be stated on one?
Mum: Then it means I can do it. GIVE IT TO ME! (?)
Me: Fine. You know what, you can have it. If you want to spoil it you can have it. Here. If you want to force me to lend you something, go ahead.
And she takes it.
Mum: ZR (my bro), come here. Pluck my hair for me.
Bro: ..what? I'm scared. I dont want to spoil it..?
Mum: COME HERE AND PLUCK FOR ME.
And she did the terrible deed in front of me and shoved her white hair in my face.
Look at her. just look at her. spends her days messing out her house and plucking her white hair.
SHE JUST USED IT TO PLUCK MY DAD'S OILY HAIR.
Mum: Who says it will spoil? Look, it's not disintegrating is it? Liar.
Me: Look, if you stare at bright lights for too long you'll get myopia. But does it show? Can you tell? It's a gradual thing! My tweezers are freaking used for eyebrows!
Mum: How dare you ask me to wash my face. I won't tolerate any rudeness. You want me to kick you i'll kick you. You want to be treated like a dog I'll treat you like a dog. Anyway if you move (the tweezers), can you please tell me. I'm responsible for it you know?
(Yes, you stole my tweezers and you want me to tell you if I put it back. MY. TWEEZERS.)
Dammit. My fancl tweezers cost a bomb. My $17 tweezers being used to do all this. I'm sorry tweezers. So sad you were stolen by my crazy mother and used to pluck her white hair.
I know you find this whole situation hilarious.
I don't. :@
Labels: family
Sick.
today morning
mum (not christian @ all): at 7pm we'll get you, you come with us to meet pastor ong.
me: ???? what?? why?
mum: just go.
me: ?!??? Do what there?
mum: i also dont know. we all dont know we just go as a family!
me: why should i go if i dont know what it's about? anyway i've been to church before!
mum: cheebye. if you dont go you don't live in the house anymore. i'll throw out ALL your things in the room
me: ....
mum: I already told the pastor i'll bring you. he said you'll probably hate the place.
me: ....?!? judgmental much
mum: but i said i'll bring you anyway.
today 7pm
mum: where are you
me: i'm at city hall
mum: (calls) (screams into phone) KNN CCB HOW DARE YOU DITCH US? THIS IS NOT THE FIRST TIME YOU DID THIS (acc to her i 'ditched' the family when i said i had no appetite so i couldnt eat with em) (MORE SWEAR WORDS AND CURSES which i don't remember because i put the phone on the table and let her shout at me for 4min while i read my driving theory book)
mum: YOU COME TO NEWTON MRT RIGHT NOW OR I THROW YOU OUT OF THE HOUSE!
So I went to newton mrt with my fucking limp foot, to go to church to meet a pastor (??!??!)
Dad came and drove me to that church. My head was filled with WTFs. I really dunno why I was summoned to church.
Turns out it was like this.
I went into the church and pastor was talking about God in chinese. Since it was in chinese i couldn't comprehend a thing. then they sang some songs and said some prayers. I just sat there clueless, wondering what i was doing in that place.
then my mom wrote a note to me on an info flyer that tells you all about God. It said "The pastor is the one that wants to buy our house. Later got free food."
What. The. Fuck.
This is disgusting and low.
Did she bring us to like, suck up to the pastor or something?
OK then the pastor came to me and asked me some questions like age and school.
He said "did your mom force you to come here?"
I could only smile at him politely.
Then his wife came and gave us this form to fill up. it had Name: Contact no: (check box) I want to be visited and taught about God (check box) I want to be Christian. or something along those lines. I just stared and stared and i didn't know what to do with the form. Of course I didn't fill it up.
I was so sick of everything. I just left the place and went down to find that my dad had left.
My mum was just fucking screwed and sick.
She was eating their food.
I called my dad and asked him to come. I was hungry and havent eaten dinner but i refused to take anything from them. I just wanted to get out. i didn't belong.
And now, my mother is cursing me with vulgarities and death threats for 'depriving my dad of rest' because i called him to take me away. Apparently my mother banned him from picking us so that we could be trapped in that place.
Yes, i know you are like 'WTF' now. I feel WTFy also. I don't see the whole point of this. Well what can you do? You can't see through the mind of a crazy person, can you?
I hate it. Every night before I sleep, the last word i hear is either 'you knn (fuck your mother LOL)' or 'ccb (vagina)' or 'your dad so old wait till he die you will have to drop out of school' or 'i dont know why i have a daughter like you'. And I don't say anything to her. She just comes in and starts shouting @ me. She'll shout at me for 1 hour and when I ignore her/argue she'll hit me or threaten to ruin my things. I can't sleep in peace at all. She'll make up lies about me and pick on the smallest things eg. Why you hang your towel like this? it will fall down! why can't you hang the towel at its middle?
I hate it when they say i resemble her.
i don't want to be like her when i grow up. lie about everything unhappy about everything blame others for everything and for nothing.
5 day holiday
Left my calculator in school and there's a 5 day holiday. Guess I won't be doing any work -.-
wtf 5 days in hell
Labels: family
Friday, February 12
+doc trip today
wait i think i should blog about my trip to the doctor's today!
doc:whats the matter?
me: err i sprained my ankle and idk if i broke any bones can you help me check
doc: oh ok -pokes my foot- whoa nice shoes
me: thanks
doc: where you get them
me: i drew them myself
doc: wah very cute leh. NURSE!!! come here come here
(nurse comes)
doc: look at her shoes she draw herself
nurse: wah very adorable
doc: i must ask my sister to come too. (SISTER'S NAME!!!)
(doctor from other room comes)
doc's sister: wat
doc: look u've been trying to find these in hongkong right. see she draw herself one.
doc's sister: wah!
doc, nurse and doc's sister stares at shoes for a few seconds
nurse and doc's sister go back to work
doc: so... what u use?
me: i use permanent marker and fabric paint
doc: u buy the plain canvas shoes ah?
me: yup you get them at giant for oni $9.90
doc: oh so this is permanent marker or....
me: -points to black lines- this is permanent marker and the colours are fabric paint
doc: where to get them?
me: oh you can just go artfriend or popular at bras basah $14 for some colours
doc: enough colors?
me: yeah about 15.
doc: will the drawing come off? how to wash one?
me: haha i wash it with sponge. cannot scrub.
doc: oo i see. what sponge
me: just get from any grocery store you wash dishes with em
(doc looks like he wants to paint his own shoes too.)
doc: you can wear this to school?
me: ...just avoid some teachers.
doc: very honest answer.
After all this, THEN he attended to my ankle. HILARIOUS!! Totally made my day. Last time irish doc so funny now this one funnier. HAHAHAH!
He gave me some painkillers. 6 weeks to heal.
2 weeks PE MC
*cheers*
and today went to help class with the class banner.
black paint got onto my beloved shoes.
need i say anymore? my life sucks.
...some people are just so unpredictable!
...
I didn't eat anything yesterday except for some milk tea and ice cream.
Today, I couldn't finish my prata. Then I forced myself to eat some fish and rice and then felt like puking everything out. Held in my puke. i don't know what is wrong with me. maybe i am just too depressed to eat.
even though i gained 7kg in 2009 i dont want to lose weight. lose more and my boobs will be -A size.
DAMN IT!!
OI Stop posting class photos on facebook!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I look depressingly ugly!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
ASDASFDASD! HGAHJSGHAS!!!! noooooooo y am i so shit ugly ahjsgdjhsadfge
cos you cut your own hair you idiot ajgsdjasdguywv
do people really practice their smile in the mirror???????
Shitty days
I don't know why but my life keeps getting shittier and shittier.
The day before yesterday I prepared my PE tshirt and got a temp partner just to practice the dance till 6pm the next day.
4 hours sleep (as usual) - my mum shouted and hit me and smashed my fingers for about 1.5 hours when i wanted to sleep. she demanded to know why i 'lied' about janice moving house (?!??!??!?!?!?!?!??!?!?!!!!!! she
did move house) and when she moved and etc. I was clueless about her accusation and badly wanted to sleep. I don't know why this is happening to me. She always finds ways to accuse me of lying.
Anyway the next day, I tripped on a fucking step and
twisted my ankle.
What the
fuck. It made a terrible crack sound.
I sat on the grass for a minute hugging my ankle and trying not to cry.
Then i stood up and limped off.
Went to the general office and got some ice and some bandages and a crutch. Thanks jubbie sorry for being such a clumsy loser.
I was damn upset.
Damn scared also because of the dance...couldn't dance anymore or practice anymore. fuck lah, just when i decide to put in effort to learn the dance, shit like this happens. Was also very afraid cause i know partner will be upset.... cos he learnt it and all but now he cant do the dance! i felt so damn bad at the moment. all because of me! didnt dare to face him e_e
Abigail: OMG! Xinni! What happened?
Me: I'm trying to be a bella swan poser and attract attention by limping with this crutch.
Abigail: HAH I knew it! Look so fake lor you. Don't even have bandage.
Me: ........... ok. i really did sprain my ankle and im a half cripple now
Let me list out my bodily injuries as of 10/2/10:
- Rashes all over body
- Pimples permanent resident on face
- Muscle ache on right thigh
- knee, elbow, butt pain due to staircase fall
- fingers smashed
- NOW, A left ANKLE SPRAIN.
- + stupid uterus that directed blood to my shorts again today that led me to wash my shorts in school AGAIN
DAMN ITTTTT DAMN ITTTT WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME
How could this happen to me
I've made my mistakes
got nowhere to run
The night goes on as I’m fading away
I'm sick of this life
I just wanna scream
How could this happen to me
Living with a sprained ankle sucks. I can't walk down stairs and I have to limp to walk. My crutch doesn't do anything but add to the drama so i abandoned it.
On that very day, i tried to see the doctor and asked my dad to send me to the nearest family clinic. My mum wanted to save money so she asked my dad to go to a jurong polyclinic. but duh, polyclinics didnt open at 6pm so after driving around for 2 hours trying to find a cheap clinic, thanks to her we wasted half the night finding one. my dad even had to cancel a meeting and in the end, nothing was achieved. she banned me from going to school the next day and i was instructed to see a doctor today. thanks, mom.
then my parents left me and my bro in the car for 2 hours and went to gamble/read newspapers. did not give us dinner hahaha. great parents i have
Today I got an MC but I went to school. Ponned home, wtf.
School is my only escape.
This sounds fucking pathetic.
ELL
No ELL for me. Hi again again, chemistry.
My mortal replied!
Despite receiving my lame letter, he replied! I am so happy! I wrote a letter back to him straightaway. It's lame but at least got content okay.
more tumblr rape
die justin beaver!! dieeeasdasdasd!!
26 ways to impress a girl
1. When she asks how she looks shrug and say “could be better” this will keep her on her toes, and girls love that.
2. Never hold her hand. This can be interpreted as a sign of weakness (or if she grabs your hand squeeze hers really really hard until she cries. This will impress her by showing her what a strong man you are).
3. Once a month sneak up on her from behind and knock her over. Girls are like dogs; they love to be roughed up.
4. Call her in the middle of the night to ask if she’s sleeping. If she is say you say “you better be”. Repeat this 4 or 5 times until morning. This will show her you care.
5. When she is upset about something, suggest to her that it might be her fault. This will pave the way for her own personal improvement, and every girl needs some improvement.
6. Recognize the small things … they usually mean the most. Then, when she’s sleeping, steal all her small things and break them. Because jewelry is for pussies and asian ladies.
7. If you’re talking to another girl, make sure she’s looking. When she is, stare into her eyes, mouth the words @#%$ you, and grab the other girls ass. Girls love competition.
8. Tell her you’re taking her out to dinner. Drive for miles so she thinks it’s going to be really special. Then, take her to a burning tire yard. When she starts to get upset tell her you were just kidding and now you’re really going to take her to dinner. Then, drive her home. When she starts crying and asks why you would do something like that lean over and whisper very quietly into her ear “…because i can.”
9. Introduce her to your friends as “some chick”. Women love those special nicknames.
10. Play with her hair. Play with it HARD.
11. Warm her up when she’s cold…and not by giving her your jacket… then you might get cold. Rather, look her in the eye and say “if you don’t stop bitching about the cold right now you’re going to be bitching about a black eye”. The best way to get warm is with fear.
12. Take her to a party. When you get there she’ll have to go to the bathroom (they always do). Leave immediately. Come back right when the partys dying and yell at her the whole way home for ditching you at the party.
13. Make her laugh. A good way to do this is if she has a small pet. Kick the pet. I always find stuff like that funny. Why shouldn’t girls?
14. Let her fall asleep in your arms. When she’s fast asleep, wait 10 minutes then JUMP UP AND SCREAM IN HER EAR! Repeat until she goes home and you can use your arms for more important things. Like basketball or waterpolo.
15. Spit often. I hear girls like guys that spit.
16. if you care about her, never ever tell her. This will only give her self confidence. Then you can never turn her into the object she deep down desires to be.
17. Every time you’re in her house steal one of the following: shoes, earrings, or anything else that comes in pairs. Only take one of the pair. This way she’ll go crazy.
18. Take her out to dinner. Right when shes about to order interrupt and say “no she’s not hungry”. Make her watch you eat. Girls love a guy that speaks for her.
19. Look her in the eyes and smile. Then clock her one to the face. Girls love a spontaneous guy.
20. Give her one of your t-shirts……and make sure it has your smell on it. But not a sexy cologne smell. A bad smell. You know what i’m talking about.
21. When its raining keep asking her if she’s crying. She’ll say no it’s just the rain. Ten minutes later, turn to her and just scream at her to stop crying you @#%$ baby. Girls like a tough man as i’ve already stated.
22. Titty twisters, and plenty of them.
23. If you’re listening to music, and she asks to hear it, tell her no. this way she’ll think you’re mysterious.
24. Remember her birthday but don’t get her something. Teach her material objects aren’t important. The only thing thats important is that she keeps you happy. And your happiness is the greatest present she can ever get.
25. When she gives you a present on your birthday, Christmas or just whenever, take it and tell her you love it. Then, next time you know she’s coming over on a trash day, leave the trash can open and have the present visibly sticking out of the can. Girls actually don’t like this one that much, but I think it’s funny.
26. If she’s mad at you for not calling her when you say you will, promise her that you will call her at a certain time of the day. This will make sure that she waits by the phone. Tell her when you call that you’re going to tell her a special surprise. Now she’ll be really excited. Don’t call.
Wednesday, February 10
.
HellThe past few days starting from saturday were like hell to me. If you read this don't treat me any different, please. I just have to vent this all out and someday convert my blog into a book or something because my life is just so shitty.
Day 1.
Dad drives van to hostel for me to load my stuff onto it to move back home.
Painfully moves stuff on my own with fucking muscle ache.
Dad leaves van there overnight, had nothing with me the first night.
Day 2.
Feel very desperate. Feel so unlucky. Like why was I born in this family. Why can't I be like all my other friends living normally in a house and taking everything for granted.
When I saw my house, I cried.
When I moved back, my dad didn't clear a room for me like he promised. There was no attached bathroom. Bathroom all cluttered. No space to bathe and put my toileteries.
I'll take a picture of the room I am in, with the webcam.
There is no bed, no space to bathe. No table, no chair, no space to walk. Fleas on the mattress. Place smells rotten.Every inch of the house is like this. EVERY. MOTHER. FUCKING. INCH! Even the STAIRCASE! Not allowed to flush toilet, urine and shit inside for one day plus. Have to wash clothes by hand. Not allowed to waste water so we use like 5 days old brownish water to wash clothes.
WE HAVE 3 OTHER HOUSES LIKE THIS!
How can ONE person do all this? When I left, it wasn't like this. Why is the place like this now?
Moved some things from my van back home...
Mom cursed me to get struck by lightning + bad karma blabla + shouts vulgarities + blames me for messing up the house (?? I wasn't there the whole year???) and bullying my dad (??? she forced me out of the hostel and she doesnt wan my dad to help me drive back my belongings???)
Slept on mattress not washed for a year. Woke up soaked in sweat because my mum turns off all the electricity at 3am.
I feel so lost and hopeless. No adult out there to help with anyth. Even my school counselor scolded me for interfering.
But really how can I live like this.
Please just let me go back to my normal life. Please, I will do anything. I need to get out of here. rent a room somewhere and take my bro with me.
Day 3
Monday, school again. Woke up at 5:55am.
Went to school pretended to be happy and like nothings wrong. Mingle with classmates.
Went janice's house to complete our business and took 2 hour bus ride home.
Came back home.
Found all my things missing.
My mum had taken my things and moved/integrated it together with the other junk in the house.
All my cosmetics and creams I had so painstakingly sorted and put together, now scattered everywhere hanging in random plastic bags. All my toiletries with the other 100000 bottles in the bathroom.
Was very agonized, couldn't find all my things. Called her up and asked why she did this and where she put all my things. She said I was an ingrate and cursed me once more.
Desperately went about the room to take back all my things and return them to the original position. i go crazy when I dont know where to find my things. Every one of my things was wrapped in toilet paper (a habit of hers) and I ripped them all out and threw them away. Some of them were wrapped in emptied coffee powder wrappers and tiny plastic bags.
Found that she had attached a string to my shirts so that I can hang them up easier. In a fit of anger I ripped those off too. I know those took a while to attach. Felt cruel, but whatever.
I DID NOT WANT HER TO TOUCH OR MOVE MY THINGS!!!! I WANT TO KNOW WHERE ALL MY THINGS ARE!!! I DON'T WANT THEM TO BE PART OF ALL THE JUNK. I DON'T WANT EACH AND SINGLE ONE OF MY PIMPLE CREAMS ETC WRAPPED IN TOILETPAPER/PLASTIC BAGS!
Oh and guess what she said... I was MESSY! So she ORGANIZED them for me! Oh thanks, thanks for giving me only 1m x 2m space to put ALL my things! It'd be great if ALL the children in the world had only 1m x 2m space for their things and the rest of the 2000sqft of the house used to put their parent's shit.
Eventually I restored everything back to their original state.
Bathing time.
One bathroom.
One bathroom with unclosable door (tons of junk hanging on it).
Father + teen brother + mother can see me bathing.
I'm almost eighteen.
Felt so disgusting.
NO heater. But I can live with that.
Sleep time. 1 am.
Mum scolds and shouts me the usual (ungrateful cheebye + vulgarities + bad karma + get struck by lightning + you should pay me $500 for me helping you pack your things (?? in toilet paper and food wrappers??)) while i'm trying to sleep. Turns on the light. Touches my things and moves them around.
I begged and begged her to leave me alone... I could not sleep with noise (esp ppl cursing and shouting at me....) and light. Begged till I cried. Cried to sleep
Day 4 - today
Woke up one hour late, drenched in sweat because electricity got turned off by someone in the middle of the night.
Rushed like shit to school but was late still.
Did not wash face etc got on bus felt very dirty.
Hair was disgusting too.
EZlink card got confiscated for being late
Teachers asked if my shoes were 'legal' and asked me to tuck in my uniform (!!! idk how leh!!! looks weird!)
Didn't know what i looked like because never wash face or tie hair properly... may have had pimple cream and whatever creams i put on last night still on my face.
And the worse thing..
I left my jacket, PHONE and mp3 at home.
Of course, I couldn't be any more surprised. My mom found my phone and saw that janice had been trying to call me. THEN SHE MESSAGED JANICE (to pass the msg to me). The msg contained several more curses (bad karma + struck by lightning blablablbala + you ingrate blabla) AND.... she asked me to return her the toilet paper she wrapped around my things.
*facepalm* JUST BECAUSE I THREW AWAY SOME USELESS SHIT SHE MESSAGES MY FRIEND THIS KIND OF THINGS.
THEN SHE STARTED TO READ
ALL MY MESSAGES. Sent and Inbox. ALL 2000.
THEN SHE WENT TO SEND SOME OF THEM TO MY BROTHER AND FATHER.
MSGES FROM MALES FEMALE STRANGERS ALL SEND!
WHAT. THE. FLYING. FUCK!
MY FUCKING
PRIVACY!
Just look at how much time she has? From afternoon to night she has been at my handphone reading away!
Oh and guess what? Phone's still with her now so I dont know who has msged me today and what!!! BITCH. BITCH!
Anyway, I took some toilet paper and crumpled them up to return to her! That was the most fucking dumb thing I've done in my life!
Hongkai was very kind. She actually left me
her phone for tonight so that I could contact my dad and bro. Thanks hon.
I knew that if I went home my mom would beat me up/force me to pack her junk/ force me to return her toilet papers and food wrappers, so I didn't go home. Stayed in school till dad came to pick me.
The whole day I felt so upset and worried. What will happen when i go home? what will happen tmr? what msges did i miss? Felt like vomiting and whenever i thought of all this i felt so, so sick.
Also, I actually wanted to view a house for rent tonight at 8:30pm! Guess what I didn't turn up and my phone was with mum so the agent probably phoned me like crazy!
Anyway, if you've read up till now, there're probably some things you don't understand. Like why my mum wld do all this. COS SHE'S FUCKING SCREWED IN THE HEAD! FOR REAL! And there's no one to do anything about it and no one to turn to or help us.
And her children and husband suffer all coz of her! I mean why did i get avg 50marks in sec1,2,3 while living with her? NOW my bro's like that too! Nothing will change like this. She even forces my bro to go out with her till like 12am, then he sleeps so late. No wonder he is so tired. I begged and begged, mom please let bro stay home he needs to sleep. But she says NO for no reason at all!
Went home saw bathroom toilet filled with shit. Could not stand it and flushed.
Toilet clogged, shit floated up again.
Went to bathe, when drying self with towel, towel smelled like the shit.
Sick. Sick. Sick.
This is just day 4.
I can't live here anymore.
If I continue like this I will just break down in front of everybody.
I am running away. I will live by myself.
Dad agrees to me renting a flat on my own.
I need a place somewhere in Bukit Timah/Clementi/Holland etc anywhere near school.If you happen to see an ad or something like it tell me please. I need to get out fast.
if no one wants to help us, i can only help myself.
Anyway, to lighten up the mood I ought to be complaining about less serious things like my goddamn
Driving
I learnt half of driving theory today! :O
Should I learn driving this year, though? I have several reasons against it...
1. Should concentrate on studies
2. Might kill self or innocent pedestrians. Serious, first time I was riding a bike there was a man pushing a pram in front of me. I saw it and tried to turn but failed miserably and started wobbling around.
Crashed STRAIGHT INTO THE PRAM.
Of course the man was very angry with me. I could have killed a baby. Thank goodness baby was not in pram.
So if I ever start driving, I am certain I will kill someone within a year.
Not good.
3. people say i'm old........... :(
Labels: family, period
Thursday, February 4
Kpop
My class is dancing THREE Kpop songs for performance.
WHYYY KPOP! I hate KPOP!!
Then again, why should I hate kpop? I can't expect my class to dance to the indie music i listen to. You can't even dance to indie..
I can't even choreograph dances, so i dont have the right to complain that the choreographers like Kpop right?
Yes, Musho, you have no right at all to go hating on kpop and kpop lovers.
Accept the fakeness of it all. Embrace plastic surgery! And bad lyrics/lyrics you don't even understand!
Let's look at the lyrics of the two songs..
Song 1: Ring ding dong ring diggy diggy ding ding dong... lako lako lako lako lako so fantastic, so elastic. lako lako lako lako lako lako so fantastic, so elastic.
Song 2: Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry Sorry ... naked naked naked naked naked naked .... Shawty Shawty Shawty Shawty Shawty Shawty Shawty
Learn to
love these lyrics, musho.
Oh, and the males in my class are dancing this song.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=U7mPqycQ0tQ&feature=fvst
I don't find anything wrong with that at all.
I don't find anything wrong with that at all.
I don't find anything wrong with that at all.
Now press repeat.
wAR GaMES
OMG damn fun. I kicked someone's butt after my faculty mates burst his water bomb. And then you also get to be violent.. I think jubbie kicked a few dicks.
Some guys actually attack girls though :(
Girls should hide the waterbombs in their brassieres. If guys want to burst or snatch the waterbomb they'll be charged with outrage of modesty.
subjects
Bah.. ELL combi not accepted...
Hi again, chem!
Actually, my chemistry is not bad. But I just don't like science.
Wednesday, February 3
ARGH OMG MY CLASS IS DANCING KPOP ON PERFORMANCE DAY. I WILL NOT PARTICIPATE. ARHGHHHHhghsjgdjagsdja WHY
Yesterday
I went to the docs yesterday and skipped my last day of school with my OG. Glad I did. My doc was irish, kept speaking chinese here and there (words like thank you, one, last week) and he looked like he just came from showbiz. Really good looking 0_0
And he asked me if i wanted 2 days MC! Lol wtf I only have rashes.. I said never mind, just give me one day
3 days left in boarding school...
Today
bla 1
- Realised I sent all my HC uniform to laundry so I wore my roomate's uniform. I love it! Being a YCK secondary school student for a day was... different.
bla 2
-Release of class allocations. In the same class as Janice. This means we can make clay during useless GP and PW lessons! :)))) At least I know someone in my class.. And I know of a few others from last time but I don't think they like me. Anyway my class is physics class D: Which means my ELL combi wasn't accepted.. blaaa
bla 3
-Release of faculty. I was put in the shittiest faculty Athena. I was sad for awhile but it is my faculty after all and I shouldn't be putting it down. I'm sorry, I'm such a mean whore atm. Posting this is like making my whole fac hate me. But all of my friends were in Ares. Really, all of them. And last year even before I entered HC, people referred to Athena as the loser fac. I'd always thought I'd be in Ares or Artermis, but I'm in Athena.....
Of course it is not the Athenians' fault that it's shitty. There are several reasons why other faculties look down on our faculty.
1. Athena's animal is the OWL. Seriously, instead of a stallion/bull/wolf like the other faculties, it's a scrawny little owl. Of course people will laugh.
2. Athena's gender. She is the only female. The rest are male. Of course, Athena will feel out of place. Oh and not forgetting sexism..
3. What Athena represents. She represents wisdom. The rest represent courage and violence and strength but wtf we have WISDOM!?!??!?! So meek!1 Again, Athena is left out.
4. Did you see Athena's banner?! "The grass is always greener on our side." That is loserishly cliche. Do you know some Ares boys were laughing at us and calling us farmers? ("Wah athena loser, go cut grass la lol") Wahlau we're like some poor farmers.
5. WHY WE SO IMBA?
WE ARE ATHENA.
*facepalm*
Anyway why the fuck does hwachong want to separate us and cause this tension between us. I don't know what they're trying to achieve really.
bla 4
- During the PE talk this stupid apollo bastard kept telling me to stop listening to my mp3!!
Me: -listens to mp3-
Apollo bastard: -taps my back-
Me: -lifts headphones and turns-
Apollo bastard: -does removeyourheadphones gesture- -goes back-
Me: -ignores and continues listening to mp3-
Apollo bastard: -comes again and taps my back-
Me: -turns angrily-
Apollo bastard: -does removeyourheadphones gesture-
Me: -removes headphones- -waits for him to leave- -continues listening to mp3-
Of course this is completely my fault again because I shouldn't be disrespectful to the speaker while he's talking about my favourite things like running, NAPFA, sports and exercising.
But still, there was a powerpoint and I was looking at it! I wish strangers would just leave me alone. None of their business if I decide to be a disgusting disrespectful brat on that day.
I don't know what's wrong with me. I've been misbehaving and being antisocial for no reason at all. Must be PMS. Forgive me. I will go back to my nice angelic self, promise.
bla 5
- Animal Appreciation Club can't really be a CCA after all :( We have to make it a CIP project I think. It just won't work out :( .. I'm very sad because we all put in effort and time on the proposal.........
bla 6
- Faculty leaders: EVERYONE INTRODUCE YOURSELF TO THE BOY OR GIRL BESIDE YOU!
Classmate: Hi, were you in my OG..?
Me: Er.. 23 right?
Classmate: Yeap.
Me: Do you happen to be... Xin Xin?! (his name caught my eye because... it's a fab name)
Classmate: Yes. Are you from China too?
Me: Nope.
Classmate: Oh, cos you look like you're from China.
WHAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ASHGAHJSFTASH!!!11
Later I went to the toilet to see if I really looked like I was from China. I really don't know anymore.
fuckyeahslightlyamusing
(Btw, stop with the stupid Haiti facebook posts!! If you really cared you wouldn't be on facebook doing unproductive shit like catching virtual mice)
http://fuckyeahslightlyamusing.tumblr.com/
amazing
Class intro
Me: Hi, I'm xinni. I like sex, drugs and getting drunk.
Janice: Hi, I'm janice. I like going to church, reading the bible and gardening.
Ehhh I can't say it I'll laugh like crap in the middle :( What a waste.
We'll probably say we like handicrafts and we've a business (:
Monday, February 1
Huh.. my name wasn't in the accepted AEP list lor.. now I don't know if I suck or not.. Basically I told him I'll not be taking AEP but lit/ell instead.. so maybe he didn't put me in. But I really hate being in the middle! It's black or white for me. Either I'm in or I'm out.
Hmm but it's over and I've already selected my shitty combi (see prev post). I will just continue making pretty stuff for myself and others to see *^_^*
Skipped orientation games again.... Argh. You know I hate cheering or trying to win against 39 other groups. It's like, so what if you win? Not like you're gonna be remembered. If I were serious in this, I would try to make my group the most notorious group. Like you know, the group that threw water bombs at opponents' genitals and feet to purposely make them pissed off, the group that sabotage other people, the group that cheats and gets disqualified for all the games... then they will be forever etched in the students hearts. Heh ain't that great!
Besides they seriously don't need me. Today, I saw a water bomb at my teammate's feet and tried to point it out. That idiot didn't see me (as usual) but instead the opponent saw the waterbomb and threw it at our goal, causing us to lose a point. And guess what, I bet no one knew that I caused my group to lose a point. My group won in the end (as usual) so I just left them. Yay for running away from things I don't want to face!
Anyway, while in the library..... where we arent supposed to wear tshirts.. (was wearing my falloutboy one.!)
Librarian 1: Why are you wearing T-shirt?
Me: Oh, because we J1s haven't bought our uniforms yet. I'll wear full unicorn when I buy.
Librarian 1: Oh ok *walks away*
***
Librarian 2: Why are you wearing T-shirt?
Me: Because I'm J1. We haven't bought our unicorns.
Librarian 2: What school were you from?
Me: Nanyang.
After some more explanation, she finally accepted my excuse. Strangely no one knew I was ponning.
Anyway!
Librarian 2: What are you making? So cute!
Me: I'm making clay :)
Librarian 2: Wow can I touch?
Me: Sure.
Librarian 2: *squishes clay* Wow! *opens my clay container and pokes clay inside* You make all from this? *picks up random charms and examines* *asks more random questions*
Librarian 2: How much does this cost? *points to clay containers*
Me: $27.90 at popular :)
Librarian 2: ooh ok. Popular. thx! *walks off*
HAHAH! Librarians here are so cute. :)
School sucks..
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