Thursday, July 29
Alright, this has to stop.
I will post less.
I'll be honest.
I don't know why they want to read this, because my life is rather
mundane, I think it's just because online I am a real troll.
This blog gets roughly 100 pageviews a day. About 60 unique individuals check it daily. That's .. crazy.
Most blogs don't get this many pageviews. I recognize that.
Reasons I post:
1) Emotional trashcan
2) I want to entertain readers and make people happy
3) I want to update real life friends what's going on
4) I want to keep up with the amount of pageviews (i.e. I am an
attention whore)
5) My taggers give me a sense of comfort
Whoo, I'm finally admitting it. I. Like. This. Attention.
I'm sure some of my friends have realized this but they're just not telling me.
This blog.. it doesn't even keep track of what's really going on. I don't really share much. Too many people reading it and no way I am going to spill everything here.
It's not.. the
real real me anymore. Too many smileys. Too much hiding. I'm trying to be funny, and it's tiring. I dislike.
I dislike the me I'm becoming. I despise me.
I really do feel comforted when someone online/real life says something nice. Like "
Well how could i not fav like half of your work it's all sooo cute! I fell in love instantly! You're really good at what you do~!" It makes me so happy. Tags. And stuff like that. But honestly... I have to let it all go.
I don't need this online popularity.
What do I need then?
I need to salvage my grades.
The computer is eating too much of my time. I only get 3-4 hours of sleep a day.
I want to.. study.
I want to sleep 8 hours and get better complexion.
I want to be
normal! To be real!
Taggers please still tag :/ I ... don't want to lose you. I post because I don't want to lose people. I am so frightened of.. drifting away.
And friends please text!!!!!
...
So. No blogging. No facebook. Not too much. I have to be disciplined because I am the only one who can do it.
Readers, please still come, but less often please. Thanks, it'll help me.
In conclusion,
I WILL ONLY POST WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT. I WILL NOT HIDE MY EMOTIONS OR PRETEND TO BE HAPPY HERE OR FORCE MYSELF TO BE FUNNY. I HAVE TO STOP ALL OF THIS.
Inception was mindfuck.
Wednesday, July 28
maybe.
Dad I told you
stop. Dad you
said you'd stop. Why then? Why? I know what will happen next. It's never going to end. How much have you lost? More than a million dollars, damn it.
Dismay.
Years ago. When I saw her returning with more I'd get so angry, I'll cry.
...
Never let it out for a long time, thank you. You're the first to ever want to help. Thanks for listening.
I'll see what I can do.
Maybe it's time I step in
and fail my exams.
kitten
One of the kittens (cow kitten to be specific) got lost..
Either taken away or die already..
fshhhh
I kinda just crazily snipped some hair off~
Gah ugly.
I am always regretting cutting my hair LOL.
Adds to my insecurity.
Then I will scold my past self.
And have conversations with my future self.
Me: DAMN IT MUSHO!!! HOW COULD YOU CUT MY HAIR UNTIL LIDDAT!!! LOOK LIKE GRASS NAOS
Past Musho: Walao sorry la! You see if you can do a better job next time!
Future Musho: I will! I'd better!
Me: Thanks. You'd better.
crazycrazy
Wow, I think I am really going mad. I mean, first I'd write to my sketch book, thank toilet bowls ... and now dis!!!!!
My friends were telling me that they'd drag me out of the house and cure me if I ever went mad. Touch wood!
But!
If I ever go mad, and I have kids, I hope the dad won't be my dad.
K asked me if I had only
one wish, what would I wish for?
I thought for a damn long while what I wanted most.
In the end, my wish was that my mom was not crazy.
So that my dad won't be suffering so much.
I don't really want anything for myself until my family is OK.
Maybe that's what I want for myself, an OK family.
Naaaaaaahh. Maybe something realistic?
I wish for less pimples.
Naaaaaaahh.
Labels: family
Sunday, July 25
I can't be on much anymore..
I have my art to work on too.. (though I'm not sure what direction I'm headed towards)
CAT
I CARRIED THE INVERSE COW KITTEN TODAY ^^!!! (black kitten with white spots)
The
skingasmic feeling of a cat in your
arms squirming and struggling is so.. so.. so AWESOME!!! I ... need a cat in my arms right now!!!!
helpmeimdying ITS SO FLUFFY IM DYING
The stall owner says that the kittens don't want the cat food I bought them -.-
They prefer fish and chicken. Spoilt!
Stall owner also took the liberty to take my pink furry keychain for kitten to lick. I ain't washing it off!!!!! So, friends, refrain from touching my furry keychain. It's coated with
kitty saliva holy water!!!
JK, I have to wash it ._.
I LOVE KITTENS~~~!!!!! ♥♥♥♥
♥♥♥
awesome possumz
lu baked her calculator back to life.
WTH
Whoaaa
coro shop (:
Coronation plaza is awesome! There's this dear little scrapbooking store (level 2) that sells the prettiest things (:
Ambience is wonderful and it smells so good!
It's like a whole new world!
I bought
edward cullen sparkle spray which i shall spray on my drawings to make them sparkle like crazy!!!!
$7 wth -.- And it runs out with a few sprays -.-
Twas a $10 (too expensive) cupcake notebook which was HELLA SPARKLY and i stood there shaking it (to excite the sparkles) and staring for three whole minutes.
SPARKLES ARE WONDERFUL THINGS
SPARKLES ARE SO.. MESMERIZING.
ITS SO SPARKLY IM DYING
I FINALLY UNDERSTAND THE LOVE BETWEEN EDWARD AND BELLA.. IT IS TRUE LUV
Off topic, sorry.
....
..
Also, their packaging is beautiful (: It's quite a little shop tucked in a corner so it doesn't get lots of customers sadly, so the owner will decorate the paper bags and it's ultimate prettiness!
EVEN THE PACKAGING IS SPARKLAY!!!
WhOO! And then I bought huge buttons to make hair ties (: Gonna sew a kitty hairtie with jubbie!
Will wear it proudly and when they ask where i bought them I can say I made it myself (:
Panty pouch
Tracy got me a panty pouch!
Thanks hun i use it to keep my ;)
white paint;) now!!
It also has a drawstring.. so you can close the pouch.
Aka shrink the panty.
Me: (pulls drawstring) OMG I can shrink the panty
Tracy: (pulls drawstring) WE CAN SHRINK THE PANTY
Darryl: .....Oh, friendship.
Tracy: But when you shrink the panty it doesn't look like a panty anymoar :'(
art
New art (:
www.mushopea.com
Also, changed the songs in the music players. Old songs ftw.
Labels: art, shopping
Saturday, July 24
onemanga
Onemanga is shutting down.
Whoa whoa whoa :(
But!
Mangafox and mangareader ftw.
Meh, I miss those days when I read almost every single shoujo manga in the database. They were so superficial, so sparkly, so rosey...
I want to draw a shoujo one shot, some day.
sorcerers apprentice
MOVIE IS AWESOME! Nice soundtrack also. "Secrets" by OneRepublic is a pretty good song.
Lu felt ending could be better (Balthazar + bad guy closure) but anyways. PHYSICS FTW!!!!!
LOL failz, wanted to watch Inception but sold out T_T NEXT WEEK.
Burger King is hilarious. They changed their A4dables to an A1nable.
Got burger king crowns, gonna wear it to MCDs in hopes of free ice cream, or just for the sake of trolling.
WHY DID YOU BAKE YOUR CALCULATUR, WOMAN
._. Can't even find time to meet up and catch a movie, life is
that hectic.
zzz
I was innocently walking out of toilet when a ball hit me hard right on one side of my face. Smashed my specs right into my eye. And tears just formed due to the shock.
But my body said,
just keep walking and look like you're fine.
The ball thrower went "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, are you okay?"
And I said yes I'm okay. Keep walking. Like normal.
But one hand of mine was covering my damn eye.
"Are you okay?"
"ya."
He stood there for a few seconds while I was trying to tweak my deformed spectacles back to normal and taking out tissue to cover my eye.
And then he just.. walked off.
Then I went to the toilet and saw that half my face was BLACKENED WITH DIRT.
From the ball's impact.
Dirt masks are good for the face right..? OH WAIT NO THAT'S MUD MASKS.
And my eye hurt. It hurt, damn it. It may be blue black tomorrow. Awesome, just what my pimply face needs. Vision's kind of blur too. I hope it's nothing bad T_T
And then a pimple started forming. OMFG. MUST BE THE BALL'S DIRT CONGREGATE INTO ONE PORE INTO ONE PIMPLE. OMFG.
Thanks man, thanks.
Thanks for these:
1. Black eye and blurred vision
2. Dented specs
3. Face full of dirt
4. Pimple
Thanks.
But it's not his fault for walking off. I tell myself that.
After all I said i was OK.
But I was obviously not.
I feel like I should have kicked up a damn fuss but now it's.. it's become my body's instinct to act okay, so that I don't make people worry.
I'm confused. What should I do next time?
Aish, forgive and forget. I cannot blame this guy.
*i dont even recognise him already*
ugh
I'm not stupid.
I
thiiiiiiink.
Thursday, July 22
sony erection
Mama: Why is there an iphone on our econs notes?
Musho: Because the word APPS is beside it.
Mama: But,
SONY ERICSSON is the first company that made apps!
*thinks* wow cool.
Musho: Do you know that SONY
ERECTION is the first company that made apps.... OH SHIT.
yyjhao: What did you say?
Someone: WHAAA?!
..!!!!!
...
Man I can't believe my tongue slipped like that. I know my pronunciation sucks, but this..!!!
(My pronunciation sucks: I still say PHOTOGRAPHER as "FO-TO-GRA-FER' in my head. Etc)
...
Musho: ..OH GOD. This is embarassing. Mama hide me please. *withdraws into jacket and dies inside*
Jitty: So now we know what you are thinking about..
Musho: Mama..
Mama: (tries to think of crap excuses) Uhhhh, the word, she meant that
*POINTS TO UNDER CONSTRUCTION STRUCTURES OUTSIDE* those buildings are going to be erected! She meant the erection of those buildings!!!!!!!!!1
Fail.
Epic fail.
NOoOO iT's nOt A fReuDIan SLip!!!11
ok.... i suck
1.
I was at PE and they called out all the NAPFA phailures..
And I was sitting and emoing when this person in front of me pointed at me and broke into a HEY-I-KNOW-YOU smile.
I turned around to see who the person was smiling at.
Twas nobody.
In return, I gave him a
DO-I-LIKE,-KNOW-YOU look.
Person: You are the
ninja girl!
Me: .. Wha?!!!
Person: Wait, you're from art club right?
Me: Yes..... WAIT, WHO ARE YOU!
Person: You don't recognize me?
Me: Uh, no..
Person: But I got go to art club sometimes.
Me: Got meh?!
Person: You just have to ask _ and _. I play
deal with art club people.
Me: Haha, okay. WHY NINJA GIRL?
Person: During combined sports meet you wore nanyang uniform and ninja'ed into the AEP room right? So we call you.. ninja girl!
Me: *facepalm* Yes..
Person: And then you drew mudkips...
Me: *facepalm x2*
MEET MUSHO, THE NINJA-MUDKIP GIRL!!!!
Wonderful.
I guess I did recognize him later on.
This made me realize how close minded I am.
If I saw someone who wasn't in my class/art club etc, I'd tell myself it's not worth knowing them. Since I prolly won't be seeing them again, or much. They will never be important to me, so I won't bother talking to them! I don't even bother to remember faces. Sometimes if they bothered to talk to me, I ignore them. In this case, yes he did talk to me twice, back in CSM, but i don't think i even cast him a second glance. I just gave a half hearted reply.
Wow.
That's really terrible of me.
But it's just me being naturally antisocial.
Just me.
I'm horrible. I'm horrible.
Now that I recognise this flaw of mine, I'm going to try to change.
Friendlier, musho, friendlier.
Be friendlier.
Say hi, damn it.
Smile, damn it.
Don't give look of shock when you see people you vaguely know.
Please stop being so awkward!
AWKWARD, DAMN IT!
2.
And ah, I still can't hold eye contact with people. Partly because I'm a recluse, and partly because my eye muscles are weak (medically certified weak!)
WELL, THIS REALLY SUCKS BECAUSE IT MAKES PEOPLE THINK I'M HIDING SOME BAD, EVIL THOUGHT!!!!
AWKWARD, DAMN IT! WHY!
3.
ALSO, WHY SOMETIMES NO ONE TALK TO ME THEN SUDDENLY GOT TWO PEOPLE TALK TO ME AT THE SAME TIME THEN I DUNNO WHO TO TALK TO FIRST!??!?!? WALAO.
MAKES ME FEEL BAD!!!
And makes me feel insincere! Well maybe I am an insincere skank! Who knows!
lame.
Why don't we ever talk anymore? I guess it's my fault. I haven't been exactly trying.
I'm not mad at you. Are you mad at me? I'm sorry if I did anything. I say stupid things sometimes when my emotions get the better of me.
Are you still reading? I don't think you'll tag anymore. It's saddening. They were always so encouraging, so unexpected.
Thanks for being so nice back then, anyway... I never knew we'd get this far. I'm honoured, really I am. You were always someone I looked up to from afar. And still do.
You were one of the few people who.. put in effort to share your opinions. Ideas from someone terribly smart! I really did like to listen to you. I told you that.
Hah, I wonder if you know who you are.
You'll probably pretend you never read this, if you did.
Now I feels lame for writing all this.
Wednesday, July 21
And i thought i forgot.
I was crying.
It started when the kid next door was pleading "
I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry! I'm sorry!"
And then.
"Stop! I'm sorry! Stop!"
And on, and on, and on.
And then a few minutes later he was crying, crying like mad.
And there was someone shouting at him, and he was crying non stop.
It was all so loud. All so real. I could hear it from next door.
I stopped doing anything. Paused my music, sat there and
listened.
My heart just broke and I started crying.
For completely selfish reasons, I reckon. Mainly because I've been through this so many times.
He sounded so much like my brother.
It was like watching a video of what used to happen to us every week, a few years ago.
Sounded so much like us doing something small and getting caught and shouting "SORRY, SORRY, don't hit me, don't beat me, don't cane me" non stop.
She didn't listen. She just .. mercilessly brought the clothes hanger down on us, dozens of times. Or kicked us, or pinched our tummies/nipples, or bit our arms, slapped us, shook us, pulled out our hair, whatever.
Then when the ordeal was over we'd be crying.
Like crazy.
Like the boy.
Of course, we couldn't do anything when the other was getting tortured.
Interfere and get abused as well.
After each beat up session the tortured one would end up hating the other, because they didn't interfere, they didn't help. They were traitors.
But we knew the consequences of interfering. She was too violent, too cruel. Sure, two of us could overpower her, but we were too afraid to harm her. She, on the other hand, would continue to whip you even if you had blood forming at your arms.
We used to compare scars.
It was so fucked up.
And now i can't stop remembering and crying! Wonderful.
Labels: family
Tuesday, July 20
yestrday
OK on my dad's birthday I called him again and asked him one last time to watch a movie with my bro and me.
He was in a meeting.
I guess that ends it. My even trying.
I can't even spend time with the only sane adult in my family!! ^_^
Bleh, I don't care.
I don't care.
Anyway, movie timings sucked so bro and me went to the arcade.
kittens!
And then we went to buy kitten food for the new kittens below my flat ^^
One is white with black patches and the other black with white patches.
I call them COW CAT and INVERSE COW CAT but I should be giving them proper names. Like Yin and Yang.
I'm so worried for them :(:(
A dude was giving them a potato chip (NEW BORN KITTENS DUDE!!!) and I ARFAGHSFHGAFSGHAS and took the potato chip away. And told him about kitty mouth cancer. Bleh. So I decided DAMMIT I SHALL GO BUY KITTEN FOOD and so I did.
Thank god the food stall lady feeds them :D Passed food to her!
I always see them wander as far as the hair salons nearby and I just stand there watching, worrying about them. Sigh. Kittens!
YOU GO GIRL
I don’t care if you’re an atheist, a christian, a buddhist, agnostic, a wiccan, or any of those other religions. I don’t care if you’re gay, lesbian, bisexual, trans, or anything like that. I don’t care if you’re black, white, latino, or any other race. I don’t care. As long as you’re nice and just an all around amazing person, I will be your friend.
-I forgot who
Reblogged from rachel's tumblr!
Taking basic theory test (driving) with her in September!!
Her tumblr also tells me that in ice cream ads the ice cream is actually coloured mashed potato. No!!!!!!!!
thumbdrive
I wrapped my thumbdrive in masking tape and wrote FUCK YOU on one side and LIFE SUX on the other.
Holayyyyyyyyy. It looks like trash. I'm lovin it!
thumb
In the library I was
stalking people on perusing facebook when CCA ex-vice-president interrupted me :( He had every right to since I was being a lazy skank instead of doing my homework or working on the astronomy website. Anyhow..
C: Why do you always have smiley faces on your thumbs?!!
Me: See right, when I get lonely and have no one to talk to, I can talk to my fingers.. and I don't feel so lonely anymore...
C: So.. so sad! Well, you're talking to
me now so..
Me: I'd rather talk to my thumb.
HAH.
And no I not so crazy yet, I don't talk to my thumbs.
LOLXLOXOXL
Labels: family
Monday, July 19
*sigh*
I want to lock myself up in this room and wait for the _ to clear up. For once I want to be alone. I want the whole world to stop moving and wait for me to catchup. I hate them so much now I don't even want to say their names. I can't even make up some funny story about them because I'm just.. so sick of them now. The _ are coming in batches, and it's really terrible. Hasn't been this bad for more than a year. Meh, the scars are staying too. Ugly, disgusting permanent red dots. I wonder what I did in my previous life so deserve to be so...
so ugly.
*sigh*
And my face hurts. Dried it up too much.
Oh god, oh god, I miss boarding school, I can't continue to be this unhealthy.
ANIMALZ
Went to IMM with jubbie on saturday.
Clothing shops, Daiso, Electronics shops~
On the bus ride to IMM, jubbie told me of a family that owns a dog, cat and rabbit!
WHO ARE VERY CLOSE!!!
1. Cat and rabbit always snuggle up to dog!
2. Doggie's like a mummy to cat and rabbit. Like, dog would wait for cat and rabbit to finish eating first then he eats.
3. One day rabbit died. Dog and cat emo'ed and refused to eat for several days.
This is
so sweet and cute ((:
MY FUTURE PLAN:
EITHER
1 dog 1 cat 1 rabbit
OR
1 dog 2 cats
POSSIBLE NAMES:
Cats: Cotton/Pillow/Oliver
(btw there are actually 3 olivers wth)
Rabbit: Penis
(prolly not unless im still as immature. UNDECIDED)
Dog: Shiro
(not decided yet)
Any recommendations? :D
I know people always plan names for their kids, but I'm planning them for my pets, because I AM SURE TO HAVE PETS!!!!! I care if I have kids (since the world is spiraling downwards life will be very hard so it may not be good to have kids.) but not much as pets! PETS ARE A
MUST!!
ipod dock
Bought an
ipod dock! It's a charger/speaker/radio/clock/alarm.
Whee!
Thanks to chatting into the wee hours of the night
*cough*3am
*cough* and sleeping for only 3 hours, i can no longer be woken up by my phone alarm. So! New alarm it is! Shall also try to sleep early!
butit'ssolonelyifidon'tturnonthecomputer
Originally $100 but got it at 66% off.
So, 34 bucks!
What a steal (: Bad quality though but idc.
Also got a
two way jack thing, allows you to plug in two headphones into an ipod. But no idea who to listen with, because very few people share my music taste. :( Meh, I wish I could convert someone right now..
Quantifying
"Xinni join me for chem tuition?!"
"How much?"
"$60 for two hours!"
"WHAT, I CAN BUY 2 M.A.C STUDIOFIX CONCEALERS!"
Eh! I'm always quantifying things with objects! D:
Last time it was
I CAN BUY 6 COPIC MARKERS WITH THAT
or
I CAN BUY 3 BB CREAMS WITH THAT
or
THAT COSTS 14 MILK TEAS
or
THAT'S 2 BABY BOO KEYCHAINS!
You get the idea.
I naturally quantify things with the object I think most about, hahah!
Do you do that?
Labels: pimples, shopping
Sunday, July 18
"Papa tomorrow go watch movie with me and bro! After school can? I end at 4."
"Watch movie for what?"
"Cause it's your birthday!"
"Cannot lah... mummy won't allow."
"Why? It's your birthday!"
"I have to move house with her."
"But it's your birthday!"
"But have to move house and she'll be with me the whole day."
"But it's your birthday! She won't be so heartless..?"
"What birthday? For so many years I never celebrate my birthday already. Birthday is nothing. It's a normal day. Here's $100, go watch with your bro tomorrow."
But it's your fucking
birthday.
Labels: family
Saturday, July 17
Blehhhhh I'm down with fever
.. ANYWAY!
http://encyclopediadramatica.com/Candlejack
HEY DO YOU GUYS KNOW ABOUT THE CANDLEJACK MEME
It's like you're trying to finish a sentence but you get cut off halfw
Just like th
Because CANDLEJACK HAS KIDNAPPED YO
CANDLEJACK IS HERE RUN FOR YOUR LI
..
Also, there is another meme wherALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
You cut off your sentALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
ALL GLORY TO TH-
ALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD!!!!!!!!!!!!
..
And the HNNNNNGGG meme.
You kind of get the idHNNNGGGGGGGGGGGG
Omfg this is funnily unfunny hahahaH
HNNGGGGG
...
Do you guys know of other funny me
WAIT, WHERE THE HELL IS MY BIKE?
Remember to
tag using the memes abALL GLORY TO THE HYPNOTOAD
Labels: TROLL
Friday, July 16
:):):)
I got an S (F equivalent) for computing.
Everyone else got an A.
:)
twilight trollololol
Whoa, twilight fans are requesting a private "TWILIGHT FANS ONLY" movie screening LOLOLOL.
Imagine all the trolling you can do!!!!
1. Get a group of friends to occupy front row
2. For every 10 times Edward's face is on screen, get everybody to stand up and shout "
VAMPIRE!!!!!!!1" (When he's sparkling in the sun, say "
GLITTERY VAMPIRE!!!!1")
3. For every 10 times Jacob's face is on screen, get everybody to stand up and shout "
REAL MEN DONT SPARKLE!!!"
Boy in the bubble
Imagine living your whole life in a fucking bubble.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/David_Vetter
Screw the doctors, they were using him as a labrat.
Screw his parents for being so stupid to believe the doctors.
(Read from "The couple were anxious to have another child to carry on the family name..")
Look at what they did to him.
NO HUMAN CONTACT.
So psychologically damaged, he spread his shit all over his bubble out of frustration.
His mom never touched him (only after he sank into a coma then death)
Bleh.
meh
Meh, who's happy anyways?
we're all pretending.
Labels: TROLL
Thursday, July 15
disoriented
must be really disoriented. made a major grammatical error in previous post. LOSER
whoo
spot check today.
my bright, colourful pokemon shoes did not get caught.
teacher: *looks at bottom half of musho*
musho: (
OH SHIT OH SHIT OH SHi....)
teacher: Your
skirt kinda short eh.
musho: (
WHEW) Hah, cause I'm fat.
WOW I LOVE BLIND TEACHERS ^^
What I said was true btw. I am constantly pulling down my bloody skirt because it keeps slipping up and looking short. I don't even fold it man! I've truly grown fatter because this didn't happen at the start of the year. This is not meant to be funny.
Ah, and I can't wear all my colourful FBTs anymore. Thanks to my fatness making them slip up and look short. Dude.. FBTs have gotta be the most easy to wear, comfortable thingies ever and now... Argh.
Screw fatness.
little things.
Don't you like to shop around and buy little things for your friends for no reason? Saw cheap spongebob stickers and bought them for yyjhao, wah, he damn happy with it, would have humped it on the spot if the whole class wasn't there man.
No shopping, life is boring :(
bestttttest songs :D
- of Montreal – Gallery Piece♥♥
Cherry Ghost – People Help The People The Paper Raincoat – Brooklyn Blurs - Peter Bjorn and John – Young Folks
- Peter Bjorn and John – Amsterdam♥♥
- Freelance Whales – Hannah
- A Silent Film – You will leave a mark ♥♥
Ra Ra Riot – Ghosts Under Rocks - A Silent Film – Driven By Their Beating Hearts ♥♥
Round and Round - Ariel Pink's Haunted Graffiti
In no order!
Hard to like songs
Cannot live a minute without listening to my songs or playing them in my head.
Wednesday, July 14
edit: fuck i made a major grammatical error.
:( baggie
Panda bag is dying. Handles falling off.
I'm going to buy new panda online.
Meep, I think I want this one too.! Less than 10 bucks.
Either red or blue, can't decide.
^^ Maybe get a few friends to get with me and carry it together~
Hohohoho------n.
h: MARRY ME
gf: NO
h: THAT IS JUST YOUR OPINION YOU HAVE TO MARRY ME
gf: :(
And they got married.
Meh, fucking pimple.
Pimple, you just had to place yourself on my nose bridge so that I could be reminded of you every time I adjust my specs. RIGHT?
Great, now every time I push up my specs it slices into the pimple and I'm like OWWWWRRRGGGHHH!! FUCK!
the wonderful bra
Do you know you can use your bra to cheat in exams, just write whatever you can't remember on a post it and put it in your bra. Then go toilet and check. Some bras (triumph? pierre cardin?) even have padding pockets, can just slip your notes in. Kill two birds with one stone, make boobs look bigger and score a dirty mark or two.
I don't encourage that, of course. Don't even have time to go toilet in exams.
Hong Kong's Polytechnic University offers a degree in
bra studies.
WTF!
And Japan developed this cellphone app that claims to increase your boob size.
DOUBLE WTF!
soz.
They (pimples, eczema) won't stop coming guys. I haven't been feeling good recently. My body's all fucked up. Eczema all over. Scars.
I was happy when the scars my mom gave me healed over 2009. Can hardly be seen.
But now it's eczema and I don't know why. Never had it.
I am fat too. Unhealthy fat. You can't see it, unhealthy fat. Clothes hide them. But I am unhealthy fat. T should know.
I am so stressed and tired and sick and pissed.
I hate whatever I'm feeling right now and what it's doing to my body. Damn it, I hate.. now..
My blog can no longer be the truest form of myself. In the first place it didn't record the most significant things happening in my life.
If it was to be, it'd be nothing but depression, and I can't afford to turn this blog into an emoing platform. I just typed an essay describing what I felt, but I'm just going to save it as a draft for now. Maybe soon I will post it.
I will solve this.
I'm trying to fix too many things for my own good. I'm so terrified. But I won't give up.
That easy, huh? Why do I give a fuck about EVERYTHING.
music
love my music so much now :))
Labels: bra
Sunday, July 11
model answer
What do you like about your crush?
He only takes 10 seconds to inflate and he's always available on Ebay
Movie marathon!
Movie marathon with lu!!! 7 hours of non stop movie methinks!! :D
Toy Story 3
VERY GOOD. KEN ROCKS.
Despicable Me
wth I almost cried
GOOD.
Eclipse
Me: What's going on?
Lu: They're the Vaijshagdhsja (forgot name)
Me: What do they do?
Lu: They're like the vampire police.
Me: So they're good?
Lu: No.. they're kinda neutral.
Me: I'm going to sleep.
Me: I'm awake. What's going on?
Me: What are they talking about?
Lu: Converting her.
Me: into a vamp?
Lu: Ya..
Me: I'm going to sleep again.
Me: OK, what's going on now?
Me: Huh? Newborns?!
Lu: Newborns have the most power..
Me: What's going on?
Me: I'm off to sleep.
WTHHHHHHHHHH!!
I FELL ASLEEP
3 TIMES DURING THE MOVIE
THIS IS A RECORD
I only fell asleep once during the miley cyrus movie!
DON'T WATCH ECLIPSE. WASTE OF $$.
(why did we even watch it!?!)
OH. AND.
♥ ~* TeAm JacOb!! *~ ♥
FUCK LA.
My pull-and-bear shoes NO MORE STOCK. FOREVER. END OF SEASON.
I IS HEARTBROKENED T_T
Since this is my blog, I shall take the chance to whine like
a spoilt baby an angry woman.
DAMMIT I WANTED IT SO MUCH!! I WENT TO TWO PULL-AND-BEARS TO FINDS IT!! I WANT I WANT I WANT DENIM SHOES!! FROM NOW ON I AM GOING TO STALK PULL-AND-BEAR'S EVERY SEASON IN SEARCH FOR THE PERFECT PAIR OF SHOES. IT WAS SIZE 36 TOO WHY DID THAT PERSON HAVE TO BUY IT? ALSO, WHY DOES EACH DESIGN LAST FOR ONLY ONE SEASON?! HOW STUPID IS THAT? WHAT A WASTE OF EFFORT. I ALMOST NEVER FALL IN LOVE WITH SHOES. WHY WHY WHY. I AM JEALOUS AND ANGRI.
IF THAT'S HOW CLOTHING SHOPS WORK, I AM GOING TO SET UP A SHOP LIKE Pull-and-bear/Bershka!! Sell nice designs and recall them 3 months later and make people angry and jealous.
What my shop will sell
Jackets with printed interiors! ♥♥
Printed shoes!
Cute underwear!
Bags inspired from morncreations!
What my shop will not sell
Yellow skinny jeans
Right, better start researching on how to start your own design chain (:
mmm.
I want to be your love
I want to make you cry
And sweep you off your feet
I want to hurt your pride
I want to slap your face
I want to paint your nails
I want to make you scream
I want to braid your hair
I want to kiss your friends
I want to make you laugh
I want to dress the same
I want to defend you
I want to squeeze your thighs
I want to kiss your eyelids
And corrupt your dreams
I want to crash your car
I want to scratch your cheeks
I want to make you sick
I want to sell you out
Want to expose your flaws
I want to steal your things
I want to show you off
I want to tell you lies
I want to write you books
I want to turn you on
I want to make you come
200 times a day
I want to dry your tears
Every time you're sad
I want to be what's happening
I want to be your only friend
I only go all the way
This time I'm not pretending
I can't take the trash
Your trashy friends are catching onto us
They got like fifty personalities
Oh girl, that's so messed up
You see that sculpture on the hill
That's where she cleared me out
Forever
They're monitoring my self conscious massacres, I know
Bringing it closer to the surface so it's easily pervertable
I want to be a beast
I want to make you proud
And play with your head
I want to take you out
Make you feel adored
And buy you everything
I want to hurt you bad
Make you paranoid
And say the sweetest things
I want to help you grow
Until for eternity
I want to be your what's happening
What's happening
lyrics really draw me in somehow.
Saturday, July 10
OK, I snapped.
Is it that hard to raise a family that's
not fucked up?
Why do I know so many people in similar situations? AND why does it hurt me so much that I cry? T cried for me when she first heard about me. I've made enough people cry for me.
We all know because we're going through the same thing. And it hurts. It breaks my heart to see the sadness, the despair in their eyes.
It really makes a fucking difference if your family is proper or not. I've asked all those with proper families, "Are you happy?" It's mostly a yes. I'm okay with that, I feel glad for them.
It's entirely up to you to decide your life now. You have to discipline yourself. Clean your room. Do your laundry. Bathe early. Sleep early. Do your homework. Eat dinner at 6pm. You have to tell yourself to do all that.
Sadly I'm not doing a good job at disciplining myself. I am ashamed! I have done so many things that a decent parent wouldn't let his kid do. Especially this week. I'm a major delinquent now. I'm a sloth.
My dad? Recent conversation.
"Papa can I buy $40 shoes? Papa can I buy a table light? Papa can I buy baking stuff cause i wanna bake?"
"Yes, if you need money just call me"
"Papa you better stop renting XXX house so that I can use the money for tuition. I don't have the heart to waste more money."
"OK I will clear XXX house to return it asap. Then you can get tuition. Just tell me how much you need."
"Yeah just fucking throw out all her things."
Then I ask about my bro, who's fucking up his life like I was a few years back.
How fucked up is that? My papa is a
cash cow. I have to use my getting tuition as a "reward" for him to do something about my mom. It's all about
ME.
My father has never done anything for himself! Every time I put down the phone I feel like crying because I feel so sad for him, and I am not doing anything to improve life for him. What do I do for someone with no willpower to help himself? I can only cry. It breaks my heart, again. It breaks my heart to see someone turning 60 still working on weekends, on his birthday.
T and I have been eating unhealthily. Just found out bellyfat = unhealthy fat. If you were a healthy fat you'd be fat all over. But if you're an unhealthy fat you gain fat only at your belly. I am fat, unhealthy fat. I can see all the weight I'm gaining. Width of my wrist is only a 4.3cm - which makes people think I'm thin, but I am an unhealthy fat. I'm so ashamed of myself and of my body.
I have my shit grades, and I'm serious this time, they are really, really, really, really bad and it's too late to catch up. Lost too much time..
My pimples are really bad now. In fact, today is one of the worse days for them. And I'm not even gonna write a funny ranting about them anymore because I'm just not in the mood. They've gone too far. One thing for sure - they are making me very depressed.
Also, the loneliness. It's in us all - the people with fucked up families that is. We need company all the time.
After a day with friends, I'm the only one thinking "Don't go please, I don't want to go home,
I don't want to be lonely." but the others are saying "There's dinner waiting for me at home, gotta go".
It is.. so, so, so lonely here.
And that's not the only thing that is making me unhappy.
I don't know why I still break down. Guys, I am trying so hard to be happy. I don't know why I am not happy. I don't know why I am crying.
Friends. Shopping. Movies. Outings. They are escapes. They make me temporarily happy. Sometimes I forget about everything back here. I am happy making others happy, too. As long there is someone I can do something for..
Drawing. Drawing has always been .. an escape. I can draw a happy picture even when I'm crying like crazy. I like cute things, so I think if I draw a cute thing I will be happy. So I tell myself, screw it, I will draw. I will draw, I will draw till I'm alright again. Trying to make myself happy. Same concept as wanking. I don't know if I draw because I love art, or I just want to escape. I draw to escape boredom in class. I draw after I get beaten up so that I stop sobbing. I draw when I'm frustrated with studying, with life. I tell people it's my "habit", but I got this far only because I wanted to escape.
I only want to draw the things that make me happy. Never drew to improve. Girls, colours, animals, sparkles.
What a fucking lie my art (mostly) is.
Music. Ipod's like a friend who's always there. Never to be bored of.
Meep, really love my music now. So many good songs.
Slowly killing the songs even when I'm not playing them, because they keep repeating in my head. Whoo.
I am working.. working for the future. But I may just fuck it up.
I hope for a NON FUCKED UP, NORMAL family of my own.
I want my own business so badly, but I don't know how and what.
Labels: family
Wednesday, July 7
WTF??
Is facebook mega lagging or something? I was just stalking people as usual and suddenly notifications popped up 17 friend requests!?!?!?
Alot of neo people, all accepted.
Friends of neo people whom I don't know... accepted anyway. They're always cool.
Rejected those I totally don't know.
Singaporeans I seriously don't know, accepted, i suspect they're from cosfest.
And a few people I actually do know IRL.
/fails
I'm the person with the most online friends amongst all my friends
/no life
(but i still love em all.)
Nico coming to Singapore all the way from Phil!!! WE'LL GO PLACES.
How many of you have actually gone all the way to meet your online friends? Just curious, because I've met tons.
HURRRR
You'll never live this down nico ;)
*TROLL*
3DS?!
OMG A NINTENDO DS IN 3D?
The Nintendo 3DS is an upcoming portable game console by Nintendo, which can produce "3D effects without the need for any special glasses,"
3D POKEMON BATTLES??!!! *_*
3D POKEMON BATTLES??!!! *_*
3D POKEMON BATTLES??!!! *_*
3D POKEMON BATTLES??!!! *_*
(different text sizes in failed attempt to make text look 3d)
GO NINTENDO!
I WILL BUY IT AFTER MEGAEXAMS.
I knew my blog wasn't porn
Abby accessed it in school!
(I never access my blog in school because i'm ashamed of doing so, LOL.)
Labels: TROLL
Tuesday, July 6
"on an awkward note tho musho i left my laptop on and found my mom readig ur blog "
"WHAT.
OMGOGMOMG WHAT.
WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT WHAT OMGOMGOMGOGM!!!"
"LOL DONT WORRY MUSHO SHE WAS DYING OF LAUGHTER LOL she was enjoying it v muchos"
WONDERFUL.
The thing I've been wishing for all the years.. for my friends' mums to read my bullshit blog!
YAYYYYY
I am so happy with the friends I have now :) Met a fellow TROLL the other day, spammed on facebook. Twas what I always did on neopets, didn't know I'd be doing it on fb too. YEAYS!
And another person who loves indie more than me. And with my usual circle of friends, life is good. I don't deserve them! I can talk about anything with any of them. Animals, music, makeup, art, work, business, gaming, football, shopping, food, baking!
Also, went to the mall with abby and saw a pair of shoes at pull and bear which I will buy!
...
FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK
PIMPLES
FUCKKKKKKK ^w^
WHOLE FACE ^w^ OMG
damn you all
Dam u all 4 cruirshing my hops and derams!!!!!!!!!!!
NOW MY WEDING WITH JUSTIN BEAVER IS CALNCELS!!!!!
SERUSLY.
LOOK.
"abby:sorry to rain on your parade but.. your husband-to-be doesn't know you exist.. how do you feel abotu that =/
WHAT DO YOU GAIN FROM RUINING A YOUNG GIRL'S DREAMS?
LOOK.
CHEEKIEN
Hi here is an update on cheekien.
Tracy bought me a big cheekien, so
now there is
PAPA CHEEKIEN AND BABY CHEEKIEN!!!!
Trust me on this, the big one makes a really painful loud noise.
Watch papa cheekien in action here.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GpEsmEIvjek&NR=1
Just to see what he sounds like.
Anyway lots of nice things you can do with it (NOT WHAT YOU THINK)
Cheekien ball game
1. Squeeze cheekien
2. Throw cheekien to friend immediately
3. Watch screaming cheekien hurl through the air
4. Cheekien stops screaming when friend catches cheekien
5. Rinse and repeat
Screaming bag
1. Place cheekien in bag
2. Watch people jump in horror as your bag screams when they bump into your bag
Lecture annoyance
1. Squeeze cheekien during lecture. Nuff said.
I accidentally squeezed papa cheekien right before exam. Died of embarassment.
Post-exam stress relief
Musho: CHEMMMMMMMMMM :'(
Jubbie: CHEMMMMMMMMM :'((
Cheekien: *PAINFUL SCREEEEEEEEEEEAMMMMMM* :((((((
Musho: That felt so much better.
Well I'm sure there are many other ways to satisfy yourself with cheekien ;) ;) ;D ;O ;)
I really recommend this toy.
woawrrr
COOL CLOCK. BATTERY CLOCK.
Labels: TROLL
Monday, July 5
cosfest
Went to cosfest on saturday.
I bought kidchan's artbook, it is VERY GOOD. Autographed! :D
First artbook ever!!
Spammed graffiti wall.
Yeap, nothing much, saw some dA artists whom I watch and some who watch me.
Quite disappointing T_T
afterwards
Later I went to visit my grandparents' house.
This is because 4 months ago my mother stole my IC (identification card) when I was asleep and gave it to my grandpa for 'safekeeping' (it has been in GREAT DANGER sitting in my wallet for 3 years!!).
MY FUCKING IC, for NO REASON she stole it from me!
Alright, so..
Me: *
knocks door, grandma opens* I came here to collect my IC.
Grandma: Who told you that your IC is here?
Me: I need it to register at the driving center. Papa said my mother gave it to grandpa.
Grandma: Does your mom allow you to collect your IC?
Me: I haven't talked to her for months. Plus, it's MY IC! She stole it from my wallet when I was asleep! MY IC!
Grandma: Come in, talk to your grandpa.
I can't really hear my grandpa talk but I knew he was on my mom's side so he didn't want to hand it to me.
Then my aunt came and she started talking to my grandpa in dialect, basically she tried to help me get it back.
Me: Um, well, if he doesn't want to give it to me then I have to make a new one.
Aunt: Sorry there is nothing i can do.
Me: Yeah but that would be very taxing on my dad, because he has to bear the cost of a new IC. He's always suffering because of what my mom does to me.
Aunt: *points to grandpa* It's him, he thinks his daughter's the perfect angel. And your mother always complains about your dad to him. He thinks your dad is the culprit.
Me: My dad NEVER did anything. It was always her. He did nothing.
Aunt: We know. We knew that she was.. mental all along but we couldn't do anything because we didnt have the right to interfere.
Me: (angry) Well, do you know that my dad has to work DAY AND NIGHT even on weekends to support her habits? Up to $9000 a
month. Plus, I'm running away from home now because of her. He has to pay for me too. He is so tired.
Aunt: We can't help your dad la, because he's just.. like that.
Me: Do you know my school knows about it and they support my running away from her? ALL of them: The teachers, the counselor, the deans. They agree with me that she's crazy! I tried all i could. And he just.. refuses to do anything about it. I had no choice but to just help myself. But my brother's like me last time. They can't control him, he's failing like I was because of the computer.
Aunt: It's a good thing that you are independent, just work hard because you have to support your whole family in the future.
Me: I have to be independent, I'm forced to be. And that sucks.
Aunt: *sigh* Where you staying now? How do you eat?
Me: Quite near my family. I eat super unhealthy food downstairs.
Aunt: Cook?
Me: I'm not allowed to, but I'm going to bake. :D
Aunt: You tell all this to your grandpa la.
Me: Nah, I don't want to worry him.
(He doesnt have much time left..)
Anyway since I couldn't get what I wanted, I said I was going.
Before that, I was thinking if I don't give my grandpa a hug I am going to regret it.
So I hugged him.
For the first time in my life.
Then my aunt said, give grandma a hug too.
And so I went into the kitchen and did so.
And then grandma started crying and saying i must work hard.
Then my aunt started crying too and hugged me and said I must work hard.
Then I also cry.
It was really weird.
Because I was never close to them.
It was relieving to know that they felt for me i guess.
ZZZZZZZZZZZZ
FUCK.
I hate this responsibility thing telling me I MUST WORK HARD I MUST WORK HARD
Because I can't.
islandcreamery
WHOOOO there's an islandcreamery near my place now
WHOOOOOOO
ICE CREAMMM
lmgtfy.com
GENIUS.
Other sites:
http://oddee.com
http://fuckyeahslightlyamusing.tumblr.com
WAOW i so girly
Bought this big fat furry bling tumour thing for at 80% off~
With abby :D
Also bought this super nice purple nail polish!!!!!
YESSSS
*bimbotic laughter*
And layered hair (it sucks but its my fault for cutting it before)
It needs to be longer then I can ~*
CURL*~ it!!!
YESSSSSSSSS
*loud bimbotic laughter*Labels: art, family
Saturday, July 3
I am swearing less
This is good.
me
Tagged by cm!
Almost all of the things I currently know about myself in 30 points.
This also means IT IS BORING
justliketherestofthisblogwhyareyoureadingit?!
Rules: Once you've been tagged, you are supposed to write a note with 30 random things, facts, habits, or goals about you. At the end, choose 30 people to be tagged. You have to tag the person who tagged you. If I tagged you, it's because I want to know more about you.
1. I hate pimples
2. I really love cats ^^! And my music!
3. I am anal about cleanliness, but not as much as before.
4. I like to make everything I own pretty or scented or decorated. I like to improve on things.
5. I cut my own hair. I own three scissors for doing so. And I always screw it up.
6. I am
very very very frightened of rejection.
And abandonment, ignorance and failure.
7. I
never initiate conversations on MSN due to 6, unless I have something important to say.
Even if I really, really, badly need to talk to you, I wait for you to start it.
I have never added anyone on MSN.
I never friend request anyone on facebook (unless you're my classmate)
8. Still, ironically, I am 100 times more extroverted online. (
so you can guess how socially awkward I am IRL) Sadly most people really get to know me online. I don't mind opening up to anyone.
9. I don't mind (it makes me happy even) if people strike up random conversations with me just for the sake of talking about nonsense or about their problems. It shows that they are opening up to me. There is always something to know more about. I think I'm quite accepting.
10. I am open and honest with what i
say (to everyone). I will answer the most outrageous questions honestly. But you can't judge me on my
body language because it doesn't reflect what I feel about you.
11. I own more than 42 hairties. I own TONS of skincare products. TONS!!! Damn I'm running out of space
12. I own my own set of makeup, I experiment with it frequently but I don't wear it out.
Non comedogenic concealer, liquid eyeliner (they don't smudge) and bb cream is on my to buy list. I have friends to discuss makeup with and it makes me happy :DDDD! I can name almost every single brand there is and tell you how good it is and if they test on animals (:
13. I don't dare to look at people in the eyes because I think I am ugly and I can't keep eyecontact for long due to my tired eyes.
14. I am very familiar with clothing, stationery, art material and car brands.
15. I pick up random litter on the streets and bin them to make the place I walk on cleaner and nicer looking.
16. Why do I care so much about how I look when how other people's looks do not matter at all to me? Because people are only ever about looks.. right? ._.
17. I am not vain: I am insecure.
To be vain you need a certain level of prettiness which i sadly do not meet.
18. My jacket is always with me; it keeps me secure.
19. I learnt french, japanese and german once.
20. 6 years ago I could do splits.
21. Life motto: Do whatever I like as long as I don't harm anybody. I try my best not to do or say anything that hurt people's feelings. I try not to take lives.
22. I change very often. I am very extremely disgusted at my past self.
23. I try not to judge people. I want to like everyone. However, I frequently access the
coolness factor of people I meet. Coolness points awarded based on:
Common interests (art,animals,food..)
Knowledge of internet memes
Music taste
Intelligence
Way of talking
Talent
EQ
sense of humour
sincerity
24. I dislike letting go of things I'm familiar with, hence I am not good with inconsistent people.
25. I use facebook to stalk people.
26. I am !NEVER! bored. I always have a list of things to keep myself busy with. I have to multitask.
27. I do not look down on anybody. There's something special about everyone!
28. I dislike the existence of rumours about anybody. Especially if they are scandalous.
29. I remember every single good thing someone says to and does for me and I will try to pay back. Sadly I also remember the bad things.
30. I am terribly unhealthy. I just won't step out of my comfort zone.
....
Hmm, that's about it. I went to cosfest today and other things happened. Well, I'll blog about it soon. With pictures.
Labels: MYSELF
Friday, July 2
OIMANGO
oimango = omng = omg typoed
OIMANGO I WENT WITHOUT COMPUTER FOR
4 DAYS!!!!!!!! EEEEEE
DEPRIVED
...
Also stayed up
TWO whole nights out of FOUR days to cram so I'm feeling sick, think there's a fever coming up. Feel like vomiting. Woozy but still typing aimlessly here.
But I can't, I have to go cosfest tomorrow.
Very sleep deprived, but my computer deprivation overrides this sleep deprivation and my concern for my own health. Carried 15kg worth of shopping (BAKING GOODS :):):)) home and no dinner yet and it's 11pm. Lmao, I suck. I'm just gonna eat some instant noodles and call it a day.
Exams basically screwed.
Predicted grades:
EDDUD
Excellent decent decent ultimate decent
NOT BAD!!!!!!!
PIMPLES
Long time ago far far away in pimple kingdom.
5/5/92, 13:13pm
Pimple1: sian omg i so bored.
Pimple2: let's call the whole nation of pimples to pick one person to sabotage for the rest of her miserable life
Pimple3: We will rape her face every day and make sure she remains permanently single
Pimple2: While we're at it let's negotiate with her hormones to give her concave boobs
Pimple 1: What a good idea man, let's occasionally appear in her ear as well
Pimple2: She must already be butt ugly so we can make her like,
super ugly with our presence
Pimple3: Then I know the perfect candidate who's about to be born this very moment
Pimple 1: WHO?
Pimple3: MUSHOPEA!!
OMG THAT WAS A TERRIBLE NIGHTMARE.
.......
OH WAIT THE NIGHTMARE IS REAL.
Well congrats pimples, you've succeeded in screwing up my life and making me horribly, extremely depressed over how I look.
Here's your certificate of achievement.
- Grand total of 36 pimples
- 24 scars THAT WILL TAKE 100DAYS TO EVEN LIGHTEN
-and uncountable comedones
Aren't you
proud?
I can never clear this. Never. You win. You win. You win.
Even with the 20+ chemicals I own. The bottles and tubes of pimple creams sitting on my shelf.
You win.
I am so, so, so bitter about this.
I can't stand it. I can't stand being unable to eradicate such terrible ugly things. I can't stand not being able to make something pretty with whatever skills I have. I can't stand these ugly devil-like things on me! On my FACE! Godammit, I mean, if not having decent looks is not bad enough, I have so many of these waging a war on
my FACE!
It's beyond my control (Or is it not? Shouldn't I be leading a healthier lifestyle?).
You win.
In all honesty I am extremely upset over them. I just look at them and feel SO HELPLESS!
UGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
我不要活了啦！！！！！
Labels: pimples
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HAPPY THAT MY PERFECT WEDDING IS CANCERED???