I am Musho / Xinni and I am an artist, designer and programmer. I'm a Singaporean living in California as a designer at Google. I blog about my art, music, shows, games, beauty stuff, school and a lot of personal events in my life. You will feel awkward reading this if you know me.

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quack

okay serve me right
Dear friends,

Life blows.

My iPod Touch and Klipsch Image S4s' were stolen from me while I was fast asleep last night at East Coast Park during a camp. It was less than three months old. The guys went to McDonalds for breakfast so that's when the thief decided to make off with my iPod and another MacBook.

The creepy thing is, the thief is really a troll. See, I was really sleepy so I dumped it in a tote bag that said "SHOP THEFT IS A CRIME. DON'T RISK IT."

So I bet the thief was thinking "Well, I'm stealing from a poor innocent sleeping girl! It's not shop theft! Gimme!!!" Then he took my iPod.

We made a police report.
C3LDM3W6DCPC is my iPod touch's serial number. Not sure what I can do with it.
My iPod also has a PIN. Dayum, I should have played my new racing game til it ran out of battery if I knew I'd never see it again.


First Vietnamese Hacker now Troll Thief. This is really saddening. I am very upset, I really really really really really really really really really really really really really really really need my music. I want to cry. It's my best friend okay and it's shared lots of tears with me okay how can you just take it away from me. Okay and all my important stuff's inside too. I'm getting my bro to pass me my old iPod Nano for now.

Anyway, time to move on with this loss. I am not that upset compared to 7 hours ago. I'm already hunting for new iPod. I'm going to treat my new one very well and make sure I don't lose it! And I'm going to custom make it a very nice skin with one or two favourite bands on it. Maybe write there "Stealing from sleeping girl is crime. Don't risk it." so people don't take it when i'm zzz-ing.

Please shower my tagboard with lots of sympathy and call the thief nasty names. TYVM!!!

I am glad the deerskin bag is not ugly. It looks plain but it's big and very convenient. The best part is that it looks fake so I have managed to convince myself that my dad got scammed. It is PLASTIC! NOT DEERSKIN! Yeah. My dad is always getting scammed overseas. I think he got scammed into marrying my mom too. I have inherited this sad trait of his because when I'm doing chemistry papers I always get scammed. People like to scam me all the time too. My whole family is so dumb.

My dad never signals left when he turns left nor does he check his blindspots when he's driving. It's now very fun to sit in his car coz I always get to shout "Signal leh!" "Check your blindspot leh!" or "Why you not in center of lane!?" now that I know how to drive. I never knew my dad was such a reckless driver. I think actually when you get your license you don't care to do the safety shit anymore.

I know he's spoiling me too much because of what my mom did but I will tryyyyyy to get decent results at the end of the year and get a design scholarship or something. Idek.
-_-

I'm going shopping with my bro later~*~
I want VANS and a new lava lamp!!
And an astronomy bedsheet.



I was very stressed so I doodled on my banana and ate it. It looked like it died peacefully.
Look:

It even has a beauty spot!

Hi guys!
I failed my first driving test with 40 demerit points!!

The good things:
1. No immediate failures!
2. No failure to check blind spots
3. Perfect execution of vertical AND parallel parking, S-course and direction change.
4. Only one mistake made on the road, YOU STUPID LORRY. @^*@^#*@

My fumbles:
1. At the start, I got nervous and obstructed a vehicle.
2. While driving out of my parking spot I went too close to a motorbike.
3. The ramp, which I usually have no trouble executing, cost me 10 demerits.
4. I was too blur to hear my tester slam the car for the emergency brake.
5. I did not wear my lucky panty :/ It was in the wash. 

I was not used to the level of the new ramp and the new circuit in general. It was very crowded and it was hard not to get close to cars.

I learnt a lot, but.
I feel bad for failing.
I will give it my all, on my next test. With luck, I can pass. I must tell myself I can. 
My dad was very nice about it and he just said to try again.

I wore makeup to look grown up so that the tester will pass me. HS says she doesn't follow my logic but would award me points for being a bimbo. This alarmed me because my goal in life is to look like a bimbo, not to be one.

Oh yeh, so when I got out of the car, I knew I failed. Disheartened, I made my way to the review room and plonked myself on the chair and emoed. Then this person, who looked about twenty, sat beside me and attempted to start a conversation. He said: "How was your test?" I replied "Oh... I fucked it up."

And immediately regretted it. For one, Musho, YOU DONT SWEAR WHEN YOU'RE TALKING TO SOMEONE FOR THE FIRST TIME YOU LOUSY LOUSY LOUSY LOUSY - Anyway it was alright later on and he said my fail wasn't so bad.

Then the tester came in to review my test, and that person waited for me to be done before leaving the room (he just failed, for the 3rd time too), but I met my instructor, so I ran off without offering words of comfort or a 'good luck'. I wish I did, coz I feel very bad, but hopefully my lack of etiquette didn't affect that guy. I am always very reproachful about my actions but I hope I am just being critical about myself.. @_@

Anyway, WR says my fail is not that bad also. I think they are just trying to comfort me but I appreciate it. My papa failed 3 times and my uncle 7 times. I will just keep trying.

As I was leaving the driving center I saw all those who have just passed watching a big TV. The TV was playing happy music and a flowery female voice was saying '~*congrats on getting your license!!!~*'. The funny thing was that those people were watching it with stoned expressions. It was ridiculous because SHOUDN'T U BE HAPPY YOU CAN DRIVE NAO!??!?!?!?!!! I wanted to slap all of them but I walked out anyway.

So that wraps up the day of my driving test.


j: I heard The National concert was cancelled :(
Me: WAIT WHAT? JESUS CHRIST ON A POGO STICK!!! The Nat? CANCELLED?!!!
j: There was a big CANCELLED sign at the Esplanade :(
Me: NO WAYYYYYYY!!!! *goes to check*

..AND WTF. The National is not coming to Asia.
My first concert. Cancelled ! WTF WTF WTF.

 

And so, I have decided to attend Switchfoot.


AND THEN.

kintan: do you know that the creator of pokemon died in the japan tsunami????
Me: huh.
Me: WHAT?!?!?!??!?!!
Me: THE CREATOR OF POKEMON!?!??!
Me: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO
Me: (insert screams here)

-------my phone rings--------

Me: GUESS WHAT GB!
GB: What happened?
Me: ASJHJASHIUEHFpokemon JAHSKAHSKHAJScrator JHDKHDSKDHS dead NCDJSKBDKWBFJKWF incoherrent fjvsk KJSDBLSDrambling!!!!!!!!!!!!
GB: I thought he already died.

Me: Kintan he's alreadyy dead!
Kintan: Really but my friend told me he just died!
Me: WELL WHO IS YOUR STUPID FRIEND?
Kintan: It was __!
Me: WELL YOUR STUPID FRIEND IS STUPID.

Me: Wait.


Google search:

Turns out it's just a rumour.

...
And he was never dead.




....


I finished perks of being a wallflower.
It was wonderful.

Honestly when I was small I wanted to write something like that.
I wanted to write books and illustrate them.
I used to write short stories about teachers I disliked, and I made 7 pokemon comic books. During class. My teacher kept confiscating them and I kept stealing them back. There was this classmate who always asked to read them. I used to make up stories to tell my brother. I scored very high for essays in elementary school, and I really, truly loved writing. I wrote like Dahl becaused I loved his books. I still love Dahl.

Now I know I cannot write a book, because my language skills are mediocre. So poor that there was this girl who didn't want to be in the same English project group as me because she was scared I'd pull down the group's score. Incidentally this girl is now one of my best friends and she has probably forgotten, but it was then when I realized I shouldn't pursue this dream anymore. In fact, it was only today that I remembered I once had this dream.

I might have stopped writing but I have never stopped drawing. I am glad that I don't need to force myself to practice because when my mind wanders, and I come back down to Earth, I see that my hands are already working on a picture. Most of the time it is an ugly picture but it is still a magical thing. I may not be good but I am grateful that I like to do something that much.

Back to books!

I never read a lot. My parents never bought me books and my mother scolded me every time I borrowed them from the library. I think she threatened to beat me up if she ever saw me borrowing books again, but maybe I don't remember correctly because she threatened to beat me up for lots of things. And she did, when I did them. Since I don't live with them anymore, I think I should read more on my own. So today I borrowed the first book from The Hunger Games and I bought The Life of Pi.

I want to read Haruki Murakami but I've heard bad stuff about that writer. Like only pretentious people read that.

Then again, I should be reading about why phenols can react with aqueous sodium hydroxide while alcohols cannot. (can they!!?)

edit: OMFGG OKAY I LOVE THE HUNGER GAMES. In fact, I am going to do a comic of a scene from The Hunger Games! I could not put the book down and had to finish it in one sitting!! /crycrycry Which means I am dreading my coming tests... But GUYS YOU SHOULD TOTALLY READ IT!!!!



So good!!

AAA?!?!? Y U CHANGE INTO TEPPANYUCKY BUGER?!?!?!
GIMME BACK MY SAMURAI bUGER
@#^&@^#*@ FAGETS :'((

WAAAHHHH

failing again.
sigh

it's hard to console someone when they are sad about grades.
because you kinda can't help someone if they are bad at studies.
that is why i need to stop talking about them.

My driving test is soon
Frankly there is like a 100% chance I will fail it
So I will just tell you guys when I pass it

For now my parking is bad, really bad
And I am too panicky to change lanes on big fast roads

I hope I pass it within 10 tries!
or it will be really sad!!!
coz taking so many times will cost more than actually buying a car!!!!
not really but!
but it will be really really sad!!!

...
This however did not stop me from wondering about my first car.

Before you actually read this guys
Do not flame me or say 'I HOPE YOU FAIL, FAGET'
Because I will probably regret writing this.
I know I have very stupid reasons for liking cars..
And I am very shallow view on stuff like this. I'm no expert.

Okay.
So let me tell you about the cars I like.

I fell in love with the mazda 6.

I told weirong, who is a car expert and knows just about every model.
He's coming to help me test drive when I test drive!
Apparently I can book them. Lots to learn, lots to learn.

Basically 2 things made me quite sad.

Thing 1 - a conversation that somehow went like this
weirong: oh it's quite good.
me: really?
weirong: xxx car magazine voted it the car of the year.
me: wow!!!
weirong: best family car.
me: .......

Thing 2 - price
According to
http://img.st701.com/cms/cars/pricelist/05jan11/Mazda.pdf
It costs $150k.
Byebye, mazda6.

Edit: Actually, I would really love a silver or black Mazda 3 2007 Sedan!


I also love the BMW 523i 2008!!!
Because the car looks like it's wearing winged eyeliner!!!!!

SPEAKING OF WINGED EYELINER!!!! :)
I LOVE THAT LOOK!!!



...um

....awkward...

...


Ah!


WAIT I NEED TO GET BACK TO CARS.
Other cars I like include the Volkswagen Beetle, I really wanted a pink one last time.


Now I want a faggot one.


Before that I wanted a blue Nissan Sunny.
I kinda like volvos too. They are boxy.

Mmmm, I used to think the Chery QQ was uber adorable.

But it's not so adorable after all:


Okay that's it. I've been looking at cars on the road more frequently to see if there are any more cars that I like. Truth is, I probably won't get the one I want, and I will take anything my papa chooses. I will be very happy with a small car with a good sound system. My papa also gave me a condition, that is, I need to drive my mom around after my exams. I mean I don't know if I can do that, I always hated being in the car with her, and she probably won't let me play my music.

Honestly I think I will probably die in a car accident.
During BPT,
Darryl described a car crashing into a tree as 'Xinni gets her license'.
Then I drew a newspaper headline saying '27 PEOPLE KILLED IN EPIC CAR CRASH'.
Everybody is already cursing me before I get my license lor!

~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~~*~*~*~*~*~*~
random: my funeral
Never mind, I already told huisuan what I want during my funeral. Remember to take my iPod touch and play my whole music collection minus justinbieber throughout the whole thing! The first song must be the rickroll. Thank u.
~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~**~*~*~*~

Ah! Why am I thinking so far?


While shopping for milk and bananas I saw someone wearing an 'OBJECTION!!!' t-shirt.



Excited, I shouted "OMG, PHOENIX WRIGHT!"

And the person who was wearing it was like um 0_0 ya.
Then his friend was all what was dat about???.
And he started talking about phoenix wright and they went on to talk about PS3 and DS and games.

..awkward..

Anyway apparently he got it from uniqlo ;_;
A few years ago.

Oh yeah, I don't want to cosplay anymore. It's too troublesome to buy costumes online, and I want blonde highlights.


Hmm.. what else, what else?
Oh yeah.
I bought this shirt I fell in love with at first sight
It isn't much but I like it, here it is.



Yeahh oversized shirts ftw.

My friends think my taste in shoes is very grandma
y!?!??!?
i am a sad.
...

Hi~
Part 2/4.

It was raining outside and I was at home.
I made myself hot chocolate and hid under my covers and read my book.
Music was playing in the background!!

One of the best feelings in the world ^.^

Other best feelings in the world 
excluding the obvious like orgasms and eating chocolate:
1. Chilling at a cafe after completing a large pile of homework
2. Being at a high place and blowing bubbles
3. Watching bubbles bounce on water
4. Having a cat meow back at you
5. Walking under an umbrella and blasting music in the rain
6. Completing a really nice picture
7. Discovering a great band that makes eargasmic music
8.  Good hair days

I will update this when I think of more, I remembered I had lots.

You should tell me yours, too..
Mm.

You guys may not have noticed but
Morning = my antisocial time.
Coz I am still sleepy and stuff.

Generally when I have my earphones plugged in, I am pretty much shutting out the world..
Meaning I don't want to talk with anyone, I just want to be with my music.

When that happens, please don't think I hate you and ignore me. Seriously, just say 'hi', if you can, tell me something interesting. Sometimes it helps me come back down to earth.

When I snap out of that moment, I will recognize and appreciate your patience. Really. I can't avoid these moments when I feel really off, when I feel the need to drift away. So if you understand, I will be very grateful.

It's not just those moments when you need to exercise patience with me. Sometimes I just feel so tired of everything in life and I start to not care about anything at all ... I turn into this empty shell, an insensitive prick. Sadly, this tiredness comes at random times and it is also unavoidable. So if you can understand that I am just going through a temporary phase ... all will be good. I guess.

I hope this helps you understand me better.
I will try to find ways to make things less difficult for you..
even if it means killing myself
~*for you i'll bleed myself dry*~ - coldplay
ahh i'm kidding
i'll try.

Thank you my friendz, you guys really spoil me. ^_^


Okay this happened in the toilet...

I walk into toilet cubicle.
I see a fluffy shit floating vertically in the toilet bowl.
I flush, but fluffy shit just sways sideways and continues to float vertically in the toilet bowl.
I walk out.

I walk into the next cubicle.
There is a drop of blood on the seat cover.
I walk out.
And think "This must be a bad day."

Jingzhi enters the toilet.
She says 'Xinni why aren't you going into that?'
I say 'Got shit inside!'

Jingzhi goes to inspect shit cubicle.
The whole toilet hears her exclaim "WHY IS THE SHIT SO UGLY?!!"
We all agree unanimously.

So we just wait and queue in front of the two empty cubicles.
Jingz walks into shit cubicle and attempts to flush out the fluffy, ugly shit.
Same thing happens.

She exclaims "I CAN'T FLUSH THE SHIT!!"
I deduce that the shit is fluffy and ugly because 1264378243 people have tried to flush it.

And I really have no idea why I'm narrating this incident to everybody.
So here is a picture of a cute and fluffy turtle dove to relieve you from all the trauma.


I have never really thought of this country.
However, Vietnam has been appearing quite a number of times in my life.

1. My class tee looks like a Vietnamese flag. It was supposed to mimic a red packet.

2. I was walking innocently back to the hall when a PE teacher asked if I was Vietnamese.
And I was like, YEAH TOTES!!!
And he was like, ORLY?!
Then I'm like, NO!!!!!
Then another teacher said 'She's local, it's just that her skin is whiter.'
(...okay.)

3. Lastly, my email got hacked by a Vietnamese hacker just last night.

Not only did the hacker send spam emails to all my contacts which include whole organisations and teachers, he deleted the emails that were important to me. Just the important ones. Thank you vietnamese hacker.

This is very upsetting because
a) Being hacked is totes uncool
b) I wasn't even online, and I only discovered this on my iPod in the morning.
c) I WANT MY EMAILS BACK!!!!1!
d) I don't know how to face my contacts - those whom I meet IRL.
e) This is not my fault at all but I feel like I should take the blame for all that spam.

Luckily,
because I'm in a computing class,
sctan helped to give me remedies.
Google, too.
I now need to remember a new series of passwords. Thanks vietnamese hacker.

I'm in the process of recovering from this totally uncool incident.
I'm trying to sound okay but I'm still blargheasdfasdghf and I feel insecure.
Rawr!!!

And some advice if this happens to you
1. Change your password in a secure location.
2. Remotely sign out of all other sessions.
3. Routinely check for any suspicious account activity afterwards. (like a sign in from Vietnam, perhaps)


ART


THOU


KIDDING


ME!?!??!?!??!!!!

-____-

This is a pretty long update.
So I will split it into three. Check back a few days later...


First off, I'm quite upset. I was doodling on my computing notes (coz I was stuck at a question). Computing Teacher A (she's a very nice lady) said 'You so bad, you draw this kind of diagrams on your worksheet to Computing Teacher B'. CT B is my other teacher and he's the one who held up my worksheet to the whole class and complained about my drawing.

So I lost my temper at CT A and told her spitefully that I didn't draw on my written homework, I drew it on the question paper. And that it doesn't affect CT B at all so I don't see why he should even TALK about it.
Sorry, CT A.

About CT B... Right, okay, you show everybody my doodles. Then you tell other teacher(s) about it? What the heck? It's just a doodle..?



This also happened:
My iPod is sitting peacefully on the table.
CT B: Keep your phone.
Me: It's not a phone.
CT B: Then just keep it whatever it is.

Must people harp on things that do not matter?

I know I'm a shitty student, but I am getting an excellent conduct grade for this term, alright? It shows that I'm trying not to piss you guys off, but I still want to do the things that make me happy. And drawing on worksheets makes me happy.
  

edit: whoops
i think it was about the drawing on my second tutorial
i drew a trollface to irritate him after he made me upset
and i totally forgot
whooooops


I M A FAGET (i kno)



I think I am addicted to DDR.
This is unusual, considering how much I suck at it!


When I see square tiles, I think DDR!! and start tapping them with my foot.
I play Tapmania on my iPod too.
Ahhh!!
No more arcade trips for you, Musho!!


Watched two more movies with lulu - The King's Speech and 127 Hours.


James Franco~~!!!! *~*~*~
i think he looks like keanu reeves


A levels results released!!!
Many of my friends got straight A's for A levels, some even got A for gp.
The top scorer of the country is also from my school...

But,
I also saw some people crying very hard that day because they were devastated.

I don't want to be one of them!
I don't want my teacher to give me a look of sadness or contempt when she hands me that result slip next year.
I don't want to think that I am really stupid when I see a D.

No! I need to work.
I need to work.
No more arcades, shopping, movies, art, isolate yourself!

Then again. Why are we so worked up over that B or C?
Do those letters really matter?
I don't plan on doing anything sciency anyway. I want to draw!
But my art is intrinsically worthless!

I have no clue why I'm in this school!!!!
I have to work. Now.



No!!!!!!

I think I may start listening to Shibuya-kei - I am addicted to Plastic Girl by Capsule! Dayummmm. Stuff I don't even understand. How did it come to this?
I even blast a hokkien song called 我问天 to irritate people!
I also like Magic by B.o.B, it's terribly catchy. Mainstream!?!??!?!?!?

WHA???!!!! MY INDIE CRED OMGGGGGGG. :'((((
Just kidding~!!

I love everything I'm listening to right now!
Just got my third pair of Klipsch earphones, and Mew has never sounded so wonderful.

The most important thing is to listen to what you like!



I think I'm the biggest loser. I smirk at a music collection consisting entirely of mainstream/kpop (rofl u sad ting), and I laugh at people who think they are all indie and cool and different  (psh u posr).
I really don't know where I stand. When you judge people, you define yourself. Hence I think I am both a crappy music listener and a poser, which makes me a double loser.

(I still think the whole ARCADE FIRE BY THE SUBURBS grammy incident is incredibly funny.)
http://whoisarcadefire.tumblr.com
HAHAHAHA!

who r teh arcade fries?!!

Ahh. Well-
The most important thing is to listen to what you like!
The most important thing is to listen to what you like!
The most important thing is to listen to what you like!

I can't wait for the concert ♥
Mmph I really hope I can get their autographs!
Thinking of seeing Switchfoot too.

Okay. Part 2 will be up in a few dayz.

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