Tuesday, November 18
Someone slap me 0_0
I've always thought I was smarter than this. Way smarter.
Full account of what happened yesterday:
(10:30pm, I board bus)
(finds a seat and minds own business by looking out of window)
(10 minutes later, old man comes and sits close to me) (I take no notice)
(another 10 min pasts. I'm still looking at window.) (Man pokes me on shoulder)
(I look at him questioningly) (He points at wrist, asking for time) (I tell him the time)
Old man (in chinese): You still a student?
Me: -nod- (I KNOW I SHOULD HAVE IGNORED HIM. I FUCKING SUCK @_@)
Old man: What grade?
Me: 4. (I SUCK @_@)
Old man: What's your name?
Me: (randomly thinks up of name, other than my own) Xinyi. (Blunder again. My name is Xinni, so what does one letter matter? I should have said something like Bella or Alice @_@)
Old man: (reaches out hand)
Me: (I shake it)
I fucking suck.
I fucking suck.
I fucking suck.
I fucking suck.
I've always taught myself to be polite and kind to the elderly. That's why I replied him and shook his hand. I'm a fucking retard. I will never ever tell strangers any personal info. WHY DID I DO THAT? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY? WHY??
Old man: (asks a question I cannot decipher)
Me: Huh?
Old man: (repeats question)
Me: Huh??
Old man: (repeats question again)
Me: Huh???
Old man: (repeats question again again)
Me: (tired of deciphering, so I shrug)
Old man: Want to have a meal?
Wtf. Wtf. Wtf. Wtf. Wtf.
Do I seriously look so stupid?
To accept a meal from an old man?
Then what? Follow him to his house and have sex with him afterwards?
Seriously?
I smiled and shook my head.
DESPITE ALL THIS, I'M STILL BLOODY POLITE!!
At the start, I should have said "Sorry I don't know you, and I won't tell you"
I should have ignored him when he probed.
But I thought he was a harmless old man!!
Oh god. I can be mean, rude and bitchy. Yet, I don't use it in the right situations.
I felt bloody weird. I thought, God, I better leave right now.
The bus stop happened to be the stop I was going to drop at.
So I pressed the button and muttered byebye. And then I stood up.
The bus shook.
It shook.THE FUCKING BUS HALTED TO A STOP AND SHOOK.
I fell down.
Old man reaches out arms to catch me.
I sidestepped, grabbed a pole.
Was damn scared. Restrained self from murdering bus driver.
Hurried out.
OLD MAN FOLLOWS ME DOWN.
I get fucking scared. WHY? WHY?
I still had to walk home. The road is long, deserted and dark.
I run to the nearest guy.
Asks him for help, this guy is following me and I want to shake him off.
The guy is old too. He's in his 40s. But he looks decent.
He is nice. He accompanies me home.
(It would be ironic if he were a bad guy too, but i took the chance. i acted on impulse, i was afraid.)
I keep looking back. Old man sensed I was not alone and walks the other way.
I never saw him again. Although it happened yesterday night.
In the future, I will
1. try to move away if old man sits with me
2. ignore whoever needs help/wants to talk to me. or at least, help the person once and ignore if other personal questions ensue.
3. sit in a place where no one can sit next to me. be selfish. and safe.
Was I being too paranoid?
Let's say he was ~*
harmless*~
He wanted to know my name and shit cos he wanted to be
friends.
He asked whether I wanted to eat out of
goodwill.
He didn't follow me out, that was
his stop too.
No. It wasn't like that.
I must not be polite to strangers.
I will not.
I hate myself ;-;
Labels: idiots
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