Friday, June 18
Ugh
I fail at censoring myself!!!!!! :'(
Does anyone have tips?
Swear words have already been incorporated into my system and are very hard to flush out!
I just blurt them out naturally. This is a very bad sign.
Just look at how epic fail I am.
Me: Oh
shit !
Me:
Damn it, I just said that word.
Me:
Shit , I just said
damn !
Me: Da-
Abby: XINNI, STOP IT NOW BEFORE YOU USE UP YOUR QUOTA!!
This deserves two failwhales.
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tee shirt :)
Done with fabric pastel dye and fabric marker :)
*prays that it wont wash off*
Super fail because very little people came but all the shirts were so nice :D!
I feel so proud when they wear them and I hope that their shirts won't get destroyed by detergent. I think I will cry.
deathnote
Bought four deathnote posters!
It looks pretty weird together with my band posters, but I feel proud because now my room looks anime-ish.
I want to buy more posters and make my room colourful~~
ah, pretty cool.
.....life so far.
I wish people could treat me consistently well or consistently badly. Don't surprise me and then let me down again. My insecurities can't take it, you know?
Because it's fucking confusing and it's hard to tell if you are OK with me, you know?
..
Anyway~
I had fun today with abby and hs and d!
All the lame jokes we crack :)
Abby you laugh so loudly pls!
So I go out, have fun with friends, and go home and then my mood just drops like crazy.
I hate to go back to my place. The problem is
loneliness. I thought I'd be problem free once I ran away from her but now it feels just as crappy.
I can't spend the
whole day at my place. It's so damn lonely to be the only one here.
I will just get on the computer to talk to people. And not do any work.
My friends are the only people I have left, anyway.
And I'm blogging so much because ~*panda keanu reeves*~'s like a friend to me too. And friends from all over the world come here just to hear my thoughts, which touches me. I appreciate you guys so much.
I haven't seen my family in four months.
My dad maybe 5 times. It was to give me money. My brother maybe once.
I'm used to it. I don't even recall what it's like to be with them anymore. Sit in the car with them eat with them etc.
Food downstairs is unhealthy and i'm sick of it. So's the food nearby.
Sometimes I just eat one meal a day.
Or instant noodles and ice cream.
I can feel my body rejecting all the unhealthy things I'm eating because of the involuntary vomiting and the tummy pains and irregular periods and !pimples! but I don't know what to do about it because I can't stomach the food anymore. Sick, sick, sick.
._. 6 more months.
I have to start eating properly.
And bake cookies.
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