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Thursday, July 29
I don't need this.
Alright, this has to stop.
I will post less.

I'll be honest.

I don't know why they want to read this, because my life is rather mundane, I think it's just because online I am a real troll.

This blog gets roughly 100 pageviews a day. About 60 unique individuals check it daily. That's .. crazy.
Most blogs don't get this many pageviews. I recognize that.

Reasons I post:
1) Emotional trashcan
2) I want to entertain readers and make people happy
3) I want to update real life friends what's going on
4) I want to keep up with the amount of pageviews (i.e. I am an attention whore)
5) My taggers give me a sense of comfort

Whoo, I'm finally admitting it. I. Like. This. Attention.
I'm sure some of my friends have realized this but they're just not telling me.


This blog.. it doesn't even keep track of what's really going on. I don't really share much. Too many people reading it and no way I am going to spill everything here.
It's not.. the real real me anymore. Too many smileys. Too much hiding. I'm trying to be funny, and it's tiring. I dislike.

I dislike the me I'm becoming. I despise me.

I really do feel comforted when someone online/real life says something nice. Like "Well how could i not fav like half of your work it's all sooo cute! I fell in love instantly! You're really good at what you do~!" It makes me so happy. Tags. And stuff like that. But honestly... I have to let it all go.

I don't need this online popularity.


What do I need then?

I need to salvage my grades.
The computer is eating too much of my time. I only get 3-4 hours of sleep a day.

I want to.. study.
I want to sleep 8 hours and get better complexion.
I want to be normal! To be real!

Taggers please still tag :/ I ... don't want to lose you. I post because I don't want to lose people. I am so frightened of.. drifting away.

And friends please text!!!!!
...

So. No blogging. No facebook. Not too much. I have to be disciplined because I am the only one who can do it.

Readers, please still come, but less often please. Thanks, it'll help me.

In conclusion, I WILL ONLY POST WHEN I FEEL LIKE IT. I WILL NOT HIDE MY EMOTIONS OR PRETEND TO BE HAPPY HERE OR FORCE MYSELF TO BE FUNNY. I HAVE TO STOP ALL OF THIS.


Inception was mindfuck.

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