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Wednesday, May 14
not happy
I have some feelings to vent...

Anxious.
I have holidays until August and I feel anxious trying to find something meaningful to do. It's not that I don't have anything - I wrote down lots of stuff I wanted to do in the holidays. Revamp my portfolio. Get a cosfest booth. Go for a pap smear. Start my web comic. Get a one month job. I'm still awaiting replies for some of my booth/job applications. Part of me just wants to watch shows and play games but I know I won't allow myself to be happy if I did.

Uninspired.
Art wise - not doing too well either. I've stopped drawing seriously for a very long time and trying to pick it up again has been a chore. I used to like drawing whatever I wanted and it would make me happy and I would be appreciated. But now I'm scared if I do it, if i draw those girls I love to draw, people will tell me to draw other things. Like I was told... by my new friends in uni. I don't feel appreciated.

I look at the people who've gotten so good while I quit to focus on my studies and I stopped believing in myself. Yeah I don't think it's good for me to be affected by what other people say and do but it affects me anyway. Gaaaaahhhhhh.

And my tablet died, after 6 years. Using my bf's.

WHERES MY FUCKING INSPIRAITONNNNNNNN!!!!!

 my wip who looks like shes praying for inspiration.


 I just realized how 420-stoned-simba our NUS lion looks
and the NTU one just looks like Scar

Disappointed.
My birthday passed a week ago. I'm 22 now.
The only person who prepared something for me was my boyfriend.
None of my friends cared to do anything for me, and some even forgot. (The close friends that I used to celebrate with)

I'm disappointed but I guess time changes things and I am worth less to people I was once important to and who were important to me.

My boyfriend is going overseas for one and a half years soon and I think I will have nobody to depend on then. After all the disappointments I have faced I am really scared to see him go but I guess I will be fine eventually!!!!

(k***** i don't hold anything against you OK i understand don't worry bebe you will be ok. muah ^^♥)

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