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Sunday, October 19
emotions and feminism
midterms
I spent most of my recess week feeling inferior and sad and didn't study much. But my midterm results are pretty okay.


I don't really care for these subjects because they aren't important to what I want to do in future. I know finals won't be the same, though.

AFA and art
I got an AFA booth. It's ONE day after my finals. I'll have to prepare for AFA while preparing for finals and rushing projects. I'm really scared. The booth is expensive too - $450 - but luckily I'm sharing with two really amazing girls, Nic and Lingxi! Nic is an absolute bundle of joy and encouragement and Lingxi (I don't know her that well) is an engineer and in that sense I feel similar to her because we both like art but chose to major in engineering related fields.

Yeah, I'm afraid I won't have much to produce on that day. I hate juggling art and school! PLEASE, let me have time to do a good job next year.

Just writing what I hope to make:

I accidentally a painting. I always like drawings of olive/dark-skinned girls because they are not only uncommon, they're also beautiful.


portfolio
http://portfolio.mushopea.com/

I rushed this in less than a week and sometimes I really like it and sometimes I hate it but I think at least it clearly shows the stuff I do. (Right?) Let me know if you find anything glaring.

emotions
I just felt really inferior about myself and went to play Pokemon World Tournament with rental pokemon and lost to Bianca and I started crying. My bf is stressed and my friends are busy and I feel nothing is really working out.

I keep changing my focus on what I want to do well in.
I know i'm whining about the same thing over and over again

But it just seems impossible to do all of these at once

And I know it is not my fault if I can't do it

I don't need to do all these

But yet I make myself do all of these

ANd feel bad when I can't do all of them at once

I could live a comfortable life not achieving any of this (Lol my bf has no problem with me not working BUT OF COURSE I WONT ALLOW IT!! MY EGO TOO BIG)
 
 
Feminism
Ok so I recently heard of #gamergate lol and I have a bunch of anti-feminist friends on facebook and I feel uncomfortable because I'm a feminist! I understand that the 'feminists' here have played a role in unfair censorship but omg why are the rest of us branded under them too??? We don't want anything to do with these feminists. :( We want to go back to discussing the real issues! Like this issue!
 
Here are a bunch of my random thoughts 

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