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Saturday, June 2
Rushin
Rambling
I'm still learning to give myself breaks and allow myself to relax. I've been wondering why I'm in a rush to do things all the time. Why do I always have to feel like I'm accomplishing something to feel normal?

I'm 26. I got my dream job in Silicon Valley.
If I was 30 now, I'm still in a better place than I ever thought I'd be.

I always remind myself how privileged and lucky I am. At the same time I still feel "what have I been doing with my life?" I've always been motivated by pressure and competition. With it comes jealousy and inferiority. Seeing people my age being senior designers and leading teams, or artists succeeding on social media, makes me feel incompetent. And wishing I did more to reach their level.

So what if I eventually reach those goals? I would probably be upset that I wasn't President of Lichtenstein or something. My aspirations only matter to me and I'm not benefiting the world worrying about my own selfish goals. I'm slowly realizing no one really cares how accomplished you are than you yourself.

The best route for me is to stop trying to chase the success someone else has, and aim to do what makes me happy everyday. Then maybe someday I can start thinking about making others happy. 💪 

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