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Thursday, April 30
....
I am very sad.

Today during math, I was passed a math worksheet and a math quiz paper at the same time.
Just then, I heard my teacher call for us to "start the quiz now."

Of course I did not want to lose time for the quiz, so I immediately pounced on the paper and forgot all about the worksheet that was sitting on my desk.
Sadly, the worksheet was of the same topic of my quiz, and was left on my desk in full view.

I happily completed the quiz a few minutes early, and then my teacher walked past and grabbed the forgotten math worksheet on my table. Having just realised its presence, I gasped and mouthed "OH MY GOD." My teacher shot me a disapproving glare and shoved the math worksheet under my table.

I felt like shit, total shit.

Right when the quiz ended, I checked the worksheet and realised that (although both worksheet and quiz were of the same topic) nothing in the worksheet was being quizzed, so, desperate to clear her tainted image of me, I rushed to my teacher and told her "Mrs Ng, I didn't cheat! The quiz never ask this kind of question!"

Her reply: "So? It's still Applications of Differentiation."
I said "Oh, okay."

I couldn't take it and went to Felicia's desk to rant, and then I started tearing. Felicia then tried to cheer me up but I could not take it and cried. Went back to my table and hid myself under my arms and tried to stop myself from crying. Felicia came over to my desk and said 'It's ok, it's ok' but i just started to cry more, but luckily I didn't make a sound. I was hiding my face all the time. Even as I write this, I am crying because I am very upset.

I AM NOT A CHEATER!
I may be petty, vulgar, bitchy, lying, and hateful but I will not cheat!!
I feel maligned and very, very sad.

I don't want to see my teacher anymore.
She is very nice, but she can say stuff to hurt people sometimes. In fact, my friend cried cos of her words before. Why must her words be so cutting and hurtful?

Lulu said that I should confront my teacher and tell her that I really did not cheat but I know that I will just break down in front of her and I don't want that.
In fact, I am thinking that my running up to her and my eagerness to clear myself from any conviction just sounded defensive and increased her suspicion of me.

FUCK!!!!! I DIDN'T CHEAT!!!!!!!!!!!!11!
IT'S NOT MY FAULT THAT TWO PIECES OF PAPERS WERE PASSED TO ME AND THE QUIZ WAS STARTED IMMEDIATELY!!!

I am very sad.

edit: Thank God for Kleenex, I am crying into it right now.

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