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Wednesday, April 8
mmm
THE GREAT LIZARD ESCAPADE

Yes this story is going to be epic!!!!
I spent an hour catching a baby lizard!
I'm about to describe my wonderful, exciting adventure so sit back and readlax!

PART 1
It was midnight.
I was sleeping.
Room mate #1 woke me up.

"Sorry to wake you up... There's a lizard on my bed!"
"What? Where got?"
"See that moving thing!"
"OMG I think I see it...!"
"Turn on the light turn on the light!!"

I turned the light on.
We saw the baby lizard. Spanned about 4cm.

PART 2
Roomate #1: Should we wake roomate #2 up?
Me: Eh no need lah. What do you want to do?
Roomate #1: Catch it!

Me: Why don't we just chase it away?
Roomate #1: No leh! I can't stand the thought of the lizard in the room!

Me: Ok so how to catch?
Roomate #1: Umm... um... we need a container to trap it!


PART 3
We spent 5 minutes searching for a container.
It is a plastic cup containing bubble tea.
Roomate #1 washed the cup while I watched the baby lizard.
I take the cup.

Roomate #1: Omg xinni thank you!
Me: Ummm..........
Me: Ummm..........
Me: Ummm..........
Me: Ummm.......... I don't dare to...

(The lizard was in between the folds of a blanket and it looked hard to catch)

We stare at the lizard like idiots for ~15 minutes. The silence is punctuated by sudden, short squeals from roomate #1 whenever the baby lizard moves 0.0001mm.

PART 4
We wake roomate #2 up.
Roomate #2 immediately flees to the bathroom and refuses to come out.
Roomate #1 keeps screaming.

I finally muster the courage to put the cup over the lizard.
The lizard does not move.

We spend a further 10 minutes trying to move the lizard up the cup.

PART 5
Me: So what do we do after that?

Roomate #1 is busy shouting at Roomate #2 "STOP HIDING IN THE BATHROOM! YOU HAVE TO SUFFER WITH US!!!"

Me: What to do leh!?
(I look like a retard holding a cup over a lizard)

Roomate #1: Uh...... Plan 2 has not been thought up yet...
Me: Walau!!!!

I stand there like a retard for a few minutes, holding a bubble tea cup over a baby lizard who doesn't want to fucking move.

PATR 6
We dispute over waking a teacher up in the middle of the night to catch a baby lizard.
We decided to wake a teacher up to catch the lizard.

Roomate #2 goes to call a teacher but they are all fast asleep.
We have to do this on our own.

PART 7
Me: Get a me a book from my table!!
Roomate #1: Which one which one?
Me: The one I value the least!! Umm... macbeth!! Take macbeth~!!!!!

Roomate #1 passes me Macbeth.
Me: OK I'm going to place the cup over the book and then bring it out ok?!

Roomate #1 is screaming.
I manage to trap the lizard inside the the cup with Macbeth over it.

PART 8
We run out.

Me: OKOK OPEN THE FUCKING DUSTBIN!
I dump the cup + lizard into the dustbin outside.

My roomates started cheering and shouting and screaming and i was bouncing up and down in triumph. I think we may have woken the whole block up.

We were making such a hell of a noise that people started emerging from their rooms. One of them even shouted at us 'What happened, are you guys alright?'

'WE DID IT! WE DID IT! YES YES YES!!!!' was all we could say.

We saw one or two grumpy faces.
My friend, who was showering in the bathroom, was wondering what the hell was going on outside.

THE END!

Anywayyyy I'm a hero!!!!!!!
I CAUGHT A BABY LIZARD!!!!!

I told Zeke this, and zeke laughed her usual easygoing laugh. I love telling Zeke stuff because she laughs her easygoing laugh every time. It's like nothing can make her mad (Not that she shows it) I bet Zeke has never had an enemy in all her life lor.

When I told felicia this, she said 'WHY DIDN'T YOU CALL ME? I LOVE LIZARDS!'
WTF!!!!!!!!! This is what you tell me after I waste an hour catching a lizard.

I know my story switches from past tense to present tense to past tense ok!! I'm lazy to change!


LOLRUS

Janice and I were perusing icanhascheezburger during CCA instead of studying IH. I love lolrus.
Lolrus is like, a cross between a dick and domokun, I swear.

^Domokun

Dick image cannot be shown.

BIOLOGY PLANT DISSECTION
Guys, I am a freaking genius and no one seems to notice.

We were supposed to draw the erythrina flower today.


Yup so we separated the flower and drew the internal parts.

And guess what I did!!!!
I created a work of art! Why, it's a masterpiece that rivals Mona Lisa! Really lor!
And Jesus Christ, no one, no fucking one, told me that I was a genius.
Behold my work of art!!!


BEFORE

AFTER


VERY NICE AND CREATIVE RIGHT?!!??!?
YES I KNOW!!! THANK YOU!!!

For those losers who fail to recognise my professionalism...
It is a FACE!


Even nicer than some animes!

I even got out my dust covered tablet and drew something so that you can see what a nice face it is!

It's not creepy! Not creepy at all!!
not creepy!!! fuck all of you who said that it was creepy!! f you all!!!!!

everyone, i am very proud of this so say something to boost my ego can?

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