Thursday, January 20
photos
In the next post. Lots of them.
Promise~
texting
lulu: reply this please.
me: wha..??
lulu: hello. reply again.
me: Reply what?! sorry if i'm dumb
lulu: reply again
me: are you doing this on purpose woman
lulu: reply:)
me: THIS IS THE LAST TIME. Do you have this amazing msg ringtone you want to hear over and over or what!!
lulu: LOL call me
I call lulu.
lulu: HOW DID YOU KNOW?!!!!
Coz best friends think alike.
charlie teh unicron
episode 1: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R5Nz8p3EP7A
episode 2: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NRHrImhFnZY
LOL SO LAME
I LOVES IT
"You shut the hell up!!!!!!!!"
"No yooooou shut the hell up!!!!!"
"That was uncalled for"
"Your face is uncalled for!!!!"
^ I totally love this smiley
Pirates of the Caribbean 4
HOREEEEY SHAYTTTTTTEEE
Pirates of the caribbean: On stranger tides has ZOMBIES and MERMAIDS
I cannot wait V(^^V)
bleh
I must say that contact lenses made it easier for me to cut my own hair. Basically, hair is more manageable. It is also easier to slam my head on my desk and fall straight asleep. I'm starting to get used to the torture that is called contact lenses. Maybe I'll stick to it. No time to make glasses, seriously. I'm really picky about them.
No time to do brows outside.
No choice, do own brows also. Which is like, super fail.
:(
Maybe busy is bad. True, I haven't been bored for many years. Always trying to be productive. Improve things. But I want a break.
mom
On my mother's birthday, I did what I promised myself to do. I called her and told her I loved her. She said thanks for remembering, she said she was worried for my safety and did not ask me where I was residing. Complained for half an hour about how my dad is a shitty dad ("Your father didn't have proper parents xxxxx" "Your father never give me a single cent" (bullshit)) and how my brother is a shitty student and I listened. It ended well. I assured her I had everything in place and that I'm doing fine and I just want to finish my exams.
It was good. I wanted to give her the security I never gave. I said "I love you" for the first time. I did my best. I got so sad. The family was screwed and she had no idea she was the main catalyst. And it is not her fault because she isn't sound.
Two days later my grandfather told her that I invited my uncle to our old home and took photos. The latter being untrue. Yes, my uncle did go into the disaster of a house when he fetched my brother home. But we took no photos.
Photos, I have. But I did not take any that day. That day being two months ago.
Soooooo she called me on the phone and bombarded me with insults. We had the same old arguments. Her flawed logic and her refusal to believe there was something wrong with the way she was doing things. I am way too tired to describe the conversation in detail.
Basically, I'm a 'heartless child' who doesn't help her mother with a disorder pack up her house, wash clothes, renovate houses. (?) I'm also a 'killer' and I'm 'going to murder somebody one day'. (?) Blah, blah, blah. I'm a 'backstabber' because I told adults about my situation, because I sought help from people outside my family. Because I didn't personally try to deal with it, with
her, the person who refused to admit she screwed up. She did not believe she drove me to this. She said I should see a psychiatrist. And she will "change if you give (me) $50000". (?) That I should prove that I'm a normal child by "spending $0 a month". (?) That everything is my fault.
If you don't understand anything, don't worry. It's not meant to be understood. Because all her arguments are flawed. Her logic is flawed. You can't even argue back because it is so flawed you are unable to point it out in words. You're just.. rendered speechless.
I am frustrated to tears. I tried to make things right on her birthday. It only lasted for a day. Something had to happen. I cannot talk sense into her. Because she isn't mentally stable. I have adults, my school and her siblings helping me, on my side, but we can't do anything. They can only help me run away. It's so fucked up. Haiz. I know I shouldn't be complaining. I'm going to tell myself to move on and accept what I cannot change. Because life is too short to be unhappy. I'm not going to be unhappy. I'm not going to be unhappy. I'm not going to be unhappy.
So... that's all I'm going to rant. Time to shush and chillax to music. Coldplay!
driving
Uh huh so I was saying I wanted my license real bad.
But truth is, I'm an insanely terrible driver. I always get bored and start daydreaming when I'm on the road. But yeah, I can still handle a car and drive you a few kilos if there ever is an emergency.
Anywaiz..
I didn't want it so bad. At least not by
this tuesday.
Instructor calls.
Instructor: Eh, xinni ah?
Me: yeah?
Instructor: Your driving test, u know when or not?
Me: uh no, you haven't signed me up right?
Instructor: Your driving test is on the
25th Jan u know or not?
Me:
WHUT!?!?!??! THAT IS THIS
TUESDAY!?!??!?!?!??!?!?!!?!?!?!?!?
.....wts right!!!!
Instructor: Ya.
Me: YOU DID NOT TELL ME THIS!
Instructor: So can or not? This tuesday morning you go take ah?
Me: butbtubtubtuwaitomgiamnotreadyicantevenparkrelyproperly isuckatdriving youcantmakemedothis thatslkessthanaweek SCHOOL EXAMS LESSONS HOMEWORK fjdhgsjd fehwgfvjhwerbgjhevbgfrejkhgfjdbvfd
Instructor: hah?
Me: How much will it cost on that day. To rent the car for driving.
Instructor: $260.
Me: I'll take it another time.
Yeah, so I'm postponing my driving test. I'm postponing my SAT too. Wow I've really been throwing a lot of money away to these agencies. I'm sorry dad. That I couldn't prepare myself in time. Haiz.
BUT REALLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
HOW WILL YOU FEEL IF YOU HAVE A PRACTICAL TEST IN ONE WEEK WHEN YOU BARELY HAD 15 DRIVING LESSONS?!!!! THAT YOU SECRETLY KNOW YOU CMI?! not farny u no?!?!!!
Oh man oh man. Imma try to get it by June though. I hope I fail less than 3 times.
m(T.T m)
butterfly blood
I saw a dead butterfly on the ground. It was a pretty butterfly.
I scooped it up with my GP notes and went to bury it in the bushes.
I suspect someone had already stepped on it because its blood stuck onto my notes and it took a few shakes for it to drop onto the soil. By then my notes had greenish butterfly blood at the sides. I couldn't clean it off. Luckily it's on some essay about foreign aid which I'll never read.
Yeah um. I bury dead butterflies. They look too dignified to die on the floor. I would hate it if someone stepped on a dead butterfly.
I don't bury cockroaches or beetles or worms. Erps. A bit bias hor.... OK fine!!!!!!!! I judge insects based on their looks!!!!! They don't have personality right..... I also cannot go around burying every bug I see lor..... So it's just butterflies for now.
And snails. They are so stupid they need to be rolled into hiding so that people don't crush them to death.
._.
Labels: family
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