Wednesday, April 25
Meh.
I just went for my
scholarship interview, shopped for new clothes and bras, went to my new apartment to clear my mother's trash and now I'm back at manfriend's house. I don't feel like doing anything.
I don't think I made it to the second round (I'll touch on that later) but I'm ok even if I don't get it. I think I'm too upset about what happened after the interview to feel bad about how terribly I performed during the interview.
So there were 6 of us - 2 raffles, 1 hwachong (me), 1 temasek and 2 poly students. The girl from Raffles told the interviewers "
I'll be going to Oxford whether or not I get a scholarship." I thought the second part was ... kinda weird to mention, but ok. So anyway after the interview, we took the same lift down the office tower, during which the girl remarked:
"They better not pick me for the second round of interview."
Someone asked why.
"
Because I already have a scholarship. *laughs*"
Someone enquired "So you're here for the experience?"
"No, it just feels bad to withdraw a scholarship application."
I think during the elevatoride I was too busy squirming in my uncomfortable office shoes to notice how wrong that sounded, so it only made me go '
eh.'
And it was only after they dispersed that I realised how wrong that was.
Can anyone tell me how waking up early, getting dressed then going for a scholarship you don't even want AND potentially depriving people who really need the aid
can make you feel
better than
simply refusing the first round of interviews? I don't understand.
And the way she said it also struck a nerve in me. She said it in an almost scared tone, like Katniss hoping Primrose wouldn't be picked for the 74th round of the Hunger Games, except that it's now *ohgodgasp* a s-s-scho-scholarship! Eeep!!! *shudder* They b-b-better not p-pick me too!!
It was also most possible that she was lying. After all, who, I will say again, will wake up early, get dressed and travel all the way to that place just to get rejected?
People are so tactless and why am I being so bitchy all of a sudden omg.
Okay about the interview itself, I'm not allowed to say what happened. But I did horrendously because I cannot fight for something I don't believe in. I also have opinions on... almost nothing at all. When I actually start to
think things, I can write them down almost clearly. But when you ask me to say it, I can't. I go off topic. I stumble. My voice quivers; I mispronounce the easiest words. If they want to give out scholarships based on our abilities to argue... *shrug* Let it be.
on the bright side
I just received the invitation to read the course I really want!!! I have a portfolio to submit, a C.V. and Statement of Intent to write and another interview to attend which I absolutely cannot screw up. So much to do!! I hope I get in!!! Tbh, even though my A level results can get me almost anywhere, I perform terribly when it comes to writing application essays/interviews plus I'm pretty dull and un-outstanding anyway and most people who meet me dislike me. Sometimes it feels like a waste but I remind myself I didn't get these grades for any university course... I got them to prove uhh idkwhat lol. I don't remember. Those grades mean so little to me now. Looking at the amount of work needed for each A grade, it seems so very sad.
My dad screwed up again so I'll be moving to the
Orchard/Newton area. My new apartment is in a middle of a house-jungle and it's super dirty now. I still have to buy housekeeping toolz and furniture for it. I'm not sure if I like setting up my own place at this age. I think this is something you only do when you are thirty and have kids you know? :( I can't move all the furniture in by myself. I'm even calling up and hiring people to clean up the place. Anyway, I hope I'll be able to study and draw at my new place.
My driving really sucks right now. I can't make it through one trip without almost running a red light, crashing into road cones or a person. I mean I would have, if manfriend hadn't stopped me. He's a life saviour :D BUT SERIOUSLY. How am I going to drive to uni everyday from my new jungle home??? Sigh. Whatever it is, I hope I kill myself instead of killing someone else. I don't think I can live knowing I killed somebody.
I'll be helping my brother to run away from home to stay with me, too. And if you're a scholarship provider/university admission officer and you think this is pretty wrong you should talk to me first about my family before you judge me. Oh my god I feel like an insecure teenage girl rn and I feel so laem )':
Flash stuff :)
Remind me to post screenshots of my portfolio which is near completion:D
Spot the Difference
Len's flash piano
randoms
Well this is a pretty short post.
- I've been tumblring.
http://mushopea.tumblr.com! You have to visit my tblr, I reblog way funnier stuff than the pathetic musings in this blawg
- I recommend this
book:
Ender's Game if you need something to read
-
Movies you
must watch: Pan's Labyrinth, Forrest Gump, Eternal Sunshine of a Spotless Mind. You can recommend me movies too!
- I've been
running with manfriend. ohmygodiknow.
- I have three level 100 characters in
MapleStory now lol.
- I LOVE
LANA DEL RAY so much you don't even know!!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qJ07I4Pep4A
- I've received some very
heartwarming tags despite this blog being almost dead. I'M REALLY REALLY TOUCHED OKAY why are there so many nice people on the internet where are you all in the real world can i marry you all what even I do to deserve dis I don't even deserve readership with girls like
this around
-To all those idiots complaining about
Rue being black in the Hunger Games/thought she was a white girl, be ashamed! It's stated in the book that she has brown skin!! Anyways I love Amandla Sterling she is so adorable and purdy :3
.....
K it's really late so back to work!
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