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Tuesday, June 30
xxxx
If you don't understand this post, please see previous.

A few months ago I wrote on a piece of paper the stuff that happened to me in the past. My whole life story, all in that piece of paper. Everything ____ did to my family. I wrote it because there were simply too many things I went through and I wanted to keep track of all of it, to show whoever I wanted to seek help from.

When I went to see that school counselor for help to put a stop to all of it, I told her of those things, and brought that paper along with me. She saw it and asked to keep it. I reluctantly agreed.

After she met me again to put me down about my behavior (See prev post), I asked her to return it to me.
She said she would return it some time later.
..
....
.......


She gave it to Mr Sit. My chem teacher.
Unsealed. Just that paper.
I repeat: My whole life story, all in that piece of paper. Everything ____ did to my family.
Private.
Unsealed - he saw it.

.....

Wow. What can I say?
I trusted her.

OK, maybe it was my fault! It's not a rule for a counselor to keep stuff to themselves right? They can spill out someone's personal matters for all they want, right? I should have known.

I was so very enraged. I think I cried.
What happened to sealing confidential documents in envelopes?
Why is she so insensitive, is this how a counselor should behave?

Why did I even think of getting my school to help me? Now so many people know of my situation, and no help is given to me at all. In fact, I'm given a talk about my past behavior by someone whom I trusted to help me.

Hasn't she fucked my life up enough? God, does she have to talk to EVERYONE and tell EVERYONE till she is content? I don't get how digging up my past will help me. I don't get how letting my teachers know about this will help me.


Don't get me wrong. I don't mind if Mr Sit knows about this.

But I only want him to know about this FROM ME, MYSELF.
If he asked me one day, tell me all about it. I would just tell him.

It's like this. If you get 100 marks for your exam, and everyone is telling someone about it, you won't mind, right? You'll feel superior and satisfied.
But personal private matters like this? About your family and your being abused? Would you want other people to tell others about it?


I don't get this whole thing about helping me.
They just want to fuck my life up, right?


BTW, I may have swine flu. The hospital I went to refused to check because I'm 17.

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