Saturday, January 9
big update
TLDR; I sent my mom to IMH. She got admitted.
When I came back from San Francisco, I called my dad and said we could not delay it any longer. So we arranged a date for Saturday (today) for me to call the private ambulance and police to bring her to the mental hospital.
I went to where my mom and dad stayed, and got a shock because they stayed in the middle of a busy tourist street right outside a popular MRT exit. It's like one of those places you see in the "Top 10 places you should visit in Singapore" lists. Like 100 people/min pass by the street. OK, bad sign #1.
As per IMH's instructions to me, I called the ambulance, then I called the police to assist us, because mom was potentially violent. Police called back, said "
We are not going to come until there is actual violence." Well ok. Thank you police for caring for our wellbeing and safety. Bad sign #2.
I waited at a nearby McDonalds, working on coding my portfolio while the ambulance made its way. My dad came out of the house and we discussed what to do later. 3 minutes before the ambulance arrived...
Dad: The house door, tell them they must push very hard to enter.
Me: What do you mean? You are the one opening the door for them.
Dad: Huh? No, I will leave and wait in the car.
Me: WTF? We talked about this. You HAVE to be there.
Dad: I don't want her to see me.
Me: Did you think you could just run away and leave your wife alone while she is hauled into an ambulance by strangers?!
Dad: I thought I did not have to be there.
Me: Fine, I can go up instead. Do you want me to go or not?
Dad: OK, you go.
*we reach below the house*
Dad: Nevermind, I will go. Run to the macdonalds to hide.
Went back to macdonalds, waited for an
hour. Felt so bad for the ambulance guys. Must have been trying to talk to my mother for an hour.
Got a call from my dad's phone.
Dad: Mum wants to speak to you.
Me: OK.
My mother: Xinni, did you call the ambulance to take me to IMH?
Me: Yes.
My mother: Why? How can you do that? You betrayed me. Tell them to leave.
Me: You need help.
My mother: I gave birth to you. I breastfed you. I pray for you everyday. But you're so ungrateful. You're heartless. May God punish you.
Me: You have to go.
My mother: You are the mentally ill one. *more insults*
Me: *hangs up*
Then later, my dad tells me he is going off for an appointment.
Me: WTF?!! Why did you schedule an appointment IN THE MIDDLE OF SENDING YOUR WIFE TO IMH?? ⊙▃⊙
Dad: I made this appointment last week.. I have to go.
Me: Go where?!
Dad: Nearby only.. meet my friend.
Me: People are trying to get her to come down and you are running off to meet a friend?!
Dad runs off in the middle of it all to meet his friend and leaves the poor ambulance guys alone with my mom.
Mom tries to flee towards the MRT station.
We call the police to restrain her.
20 minutes later, police arrive. I am summoned to the MRT station.
So they are crowding this busy MRT entrance. There are 2 police officers, 2 ambulance guys and a wheelchair. My dad's hiding in some corner. EVERYBODY is staring.
I walk up to them.
My mom sees me and starts screaming the usual insults at me in front of the passers by. She stares furiously at me. I stare blankly back at her knowing she can't manipulate me. I think I even smiled at her. I don't know why. I guess after 20 years of taking her abuse, I finally made a huge step for it all. The police and ambulance guys did not even know me but they defended me and knew that I was doing it for her own good. I really appreciated that.
Police: Hi. So you are her...
Me: Daughter.
My mother: SHE IS NO DAUGHTER OF MINE. SHE IS A BETRAYER. SHE WENT BEHIND MY BACK
Police: *tells me my mom is trying to run away and they have to restrain her on the wheelchair and wheel her to the ambulance*
Me: Sure.
Then the police grab her by force and start
strapping her to the wheelchair thingy. At this point, everybody is standing there watching the debacle. Tourists look confused and ask if they are allowed to pass. The police tell them to move on and stop blocking the entrance.
My mom screams
"HELP!" and
"MOLEST!" and
"RAPE!" and scratches the police officer. Of course this attracts more stares. Police officer warned her that he has a camera and is recording her actions and she cannot make false allegations.
Worse,
now she starts screaming my name and my brother's name. Omg... I was like, I hope nobody I know is here if not they will be like omg dude whatsup is that crazy lady screaming your name and i'd have to say oh you know nothing much just a regular day sending my mom to mental hospital (◕ ʜ ◕ )
We get into the ambulance and they drive us to IMH.
One of the ambulance guys, who saw the state of the house, tells me that my mom's situation is very bad and jialat. He says
I need to insist she gets admitted if not she will be out by 5pm. I thanked him for his advice.
When the nurse sees her rambling and shouting at me she keeps muttering to other nurses that my mom is very sick.
I go and wait at the other side of the hospital and saw
- A guy in handcuffs
- A frail teenage boy who had his wrists restrained and was accompanied by 3 police officers
- A man who was talking to thin air
I felt genuinely bad for them and the stigma around mental institutions. I mean just then, one of my friends in a chat made a joke about the mental institution being a 'funny farm' and stuff. I felt sad. The place was a sad place.
A woman who sat next to me told me she was schizophrenic but now she is much better. I told her I was glad for her that she has it under control. She saw that I was programming (I was programming while waiting at IMH because I have shit loads of work to do) and asked what I was making. When my dad came she said "Hi uncle". My dad just grimaced lol.
Anyway the doctor finally called us in. We explained everything to him and I passed him my 15 page report of her behaviors. He asked us about her family and history of mental illness and whether she was paranoid.
He was really curious why my dad let her spend over 1 million of his money on renting properties and my dad said he could not refuse her or she would shout and quarrel with him. So I think the doctor knows that my dad is scared and enables her.
He also asked us what we hoped to achieve. Remembering what the ambulance guy said to me, I asked the doctor to please admit her.
The doctor said usually admitting is for suicidal/emergency cases and it might not happen. He has to speak with a senior doctor about it.
Anyway we waited for the doctor to speak with my mom. After a few hours he came out and told us that
they will admit her.
Hoorah.
We decided on Ward B2 for her, which is like $80 a day, because my dad said that Ward C has more crazy people and will turn her crazy (ofc I don't believe that). I think most of these costs will be covered by
Medisave.
She doesn't qualify for private wards because of her violent tendencies.
We don't know what she is diagnosed with yet. I mean definitely hoarding but the doctor said she has other issues as well. I have to work with social workers to discuss plans from here.
When we left the place we could hear her screams from outside and shouting from the staff and we caught a glimpse of them restraining her.
I'm probably not going to visit her because I am the last person she wants to see. She thinks I am the mastermind of it all. Which I suppose is true, I planned everything but I know I did it for the good of my family. My brother and father are now busy throwing out as much stuff as possible which is liberating!
San fran
Six flags whoo!!
I went to the one in Vallejo. I puked in the middle of it all. D:
My favourite ride is the Superman. The rest were quite underwhelming and many were closed for the Winter.
While in downtown San Mateo I tried Burmese food from "Best of Burma". This is mango chicken with garlic noodle and it's really nice. Tastes similar to Thai food. Wow I typed "Manga chicken", but corrected myself.
PANDA EXPRESS
Outside bf's house
Filet mignon with creamed spinach
Thaipan
Shout out to this butter squid from thaipan @ Marine Parade (back in Singapore). Best squid I've EVER had. Better than any salted egg calamari.
Work
As I mentioned earlier, I am REALLY FLOODED WITH WORK!! T_T
I got a Teaching Assistant position and faced with a recent change in syllabus, I have loads of material to prepare in too few weeks.
Oh and Masters applications :( I almost done and got 3 people willing to write my letters of recommendation. I got 117/120 for TOEFL (27 for speaking, full marks for writing, reading and listening). But my GREs were awful. I got 96 percentile for Verbal because I spent all my time preparing for that. I ended up fucking up my Quant and it became 80th percentile. I'm working to strengthen my Statement of Purpose and Portfolio because of that.
And FYP :( I have to get started soon.
Honestly it really sucks to deal with life right now but I will manage I guess
Labels: family, food, san francisco, work
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