Saturday, January 21
sometimes i wanna disappear~
lately~
Lately I haven't had much to do. Everybody's working or having school. I stay home, sleep eleven hours and watch Dexter.And it depresses me. I can't figure out why. I don't know why I can't let myself go and be wasted. I deserve to waste my life away now after all the shit I had to endure the past decade (i.e. skewl)
Why do I feel the need to be productive when it's my breaktime!?
Honestly, I think if I start drawing and designing again, nobody's there to care anymore. Last time, I had deviantART and random classmates and Art Club. They may not have cared much about my work, but it was enough to keep me going. And they're gone. I can't start anything without support. Sigh.
I'll probably try to return to the DeviantART community by making some fanart and flash buttons. IF I CAN GET MY LAZY ASS TO DRAW.
Also learn to use fiverr (It's a site that lets you do gigs (i.e. mini jobs) in return for $4. They keep one buck).
Meanwhile, hit me up if you'd like to commission me - website, banner, illustration - anything. Or if you know anybody who offers design internships. Or any art related opportunities. I need to do something. Grawr.
To do something like this again would be good.
On the bright side, just had a super productive day at Jubbie's making random clay things. They are adorable. We're trying to find an event/flea market where we can share a booth (and hence split costs) with someone else. If you're interested, please tag.
Adorbs!!
soo
I was pretty bored and decided to read my old posts in 2009 and 2010. I'm a thousand times less funny than before. Not to mention I update way less. Guh. Sowwy guise.I read...
http://mushopea.blogspot.com/2009/09/irdk.html (see pizza)
http://mushopea.blogspot.com/2010/04/diplodocus.html (see pimple cream)
Posts like these made me laugh. I kinda miss my old self. But I'm also glad that she's gone.
From my photobucket, I dug up a really old picture of myself that I never showed anyone.
Oh god what is that thing on the right
kill it before it lays eggs!!1
Girl beside me is my ex-roommate whom i adore :D I missed the two years we spent together in the same room and all the crazy sex we had after them tiring study sessions. *licks lips* sighhhghghhh
2 years later
I'm turning 20 soon, but I still act like a kid ugh why
Ah, and here's manfriend fondling a random pussy.
So jealous :c
Even kitties like him moar :(
fosterthepeople!
http://www.straitstimes.com/BreakingNews/Lifestyle/Story/STIStory_755919.html
The concert was... pretty cool. It was bad at first because I couldn't see them at all and people were smoking and everybody was sweating. But I really enjoyed myself towards the end :D
This local band called The Auditory Effect opened for them. Something disturbing happened. The last song they played had chunks of it sounding exactly like Spotlight by Mute Math. Lulu and I thought they were playing a cover of Spotlight. I probably shouldn't accuse them of ripping off MM because I only heard their song once. I wish I could find the name of their song though. But other than that, TAE is a decent local band, instrumentals wise.
Except for one song - "Pumped up kicks".
According to this article, FTP became famous "thanks to their wildly popular signature tune, Pumped Up Kicks - a one-hit wonder"
Idk why because it sucks!
For decent FTP songs... try Houdini and Call It What You Want. And Helena Beat. But please no pumped up kicks. Bleh.
Ugh why can't all concerts be at the Esplanade.
watwat
I just had four teeth extracted to make space for braces.
Not the wisdom toothies.
As I was heading back home, I had the weirdest conversation with my taxi driver.
Taxi driver: So you sick? Flu?
Me: i gog my teefs egstrated.
Taxi driver: Oh. Wisdom teeth?
Me: (omg i really can't talk i'll just say yes) Yeg.
Taxi driver: Oh... How much?
Me: (omg why) Goo hungred and eggy tree dorers.
Taxi driver: You extract 4?
Me: Yeg.
Taxi driver: Why so cheap? I extract 2. cost me $500.
Me: (crap so my lie didn't work out too well... change plan) Huh.. waig, whad is wisdom teef?
Taxi driver: The behind teeth lor. *points*
Me: Oh... then I digen do wisdom teef. I did the frond teefs.
Taxi driver: OK.
Me: (WHY IS HE TALKING TO ME CAN'T HE SEE I'M DYING)
Taxi driver: You still studying?
Me: (no. D-Y-I-N-G.)
Me: No, I waiting for A revel resulks.
Taxi driver: You what JC?
Me: Ha gong JC.
Taxi driver: Hwa Chong? Wah. Isn't that the top JC? Raffles or Hwa Chong top ah?
Me: Dey are aboug the zame.
Taxi driver: Top 1 or 2 right. Wow, then you must be work very hard one.
Me: Not reary... I was in nayang hi school, so i digen need to take o revels to geg in.
Taxi driver: Oh... you must be very smart huh.
Me: (Dude... I just told you i didn't know what wisdom teeth were!!! Not to mention I sound like a retard right now!!) ...No.
You have no idea how many dumbasses you get to meet in these schools.
Taxi driver: So you working now?
Me: Naw... I decideg to rest.
Taxi driver: Oh.. just now, I fetched this girl at MOE. Around your age. I think she's finding a job there.
Me: I hag sum frans who worg there.
Taxi driver: Why are you not working?
Me: I juss finished A revels and I'll be worgging for next 50 yeargs of my life... Why do I wang to stard worgging now?!!!
Taxi driver: *laughs* Oh you know about the 50 years! No wonder la, you so smart in Hwa Chong JC. That girl probably not from your JC... she's not so smart.
Me: ???!!!??!!
??????????
What just happened?!!
Also - I swear I am not smart. My manfriend convinced me that he's never eaten a drumstick in his life.
I believed him.
how to draw a cat
braces
Welp I got my braces in a few days ago and couldn't eat solid food.I had to eat porridge and I hate porridge. In fact, before I got braces, I've never eaten a bowl of that shit in my life. In kindergarten, they served porridge everyday and I went on a hunger strike before they finally let me eat the teachers' food. OK I sound like a total spoilt kid. But I never liked porridge.
I was really upset over my limited food choices. So Felicia suggested that I dissolve(?) biscuits in milk and I did just that! Marks and Spencer dark chocolate digestives in milk tasted good!!!
Then I told boyfran "DUDE i discovered this awesome new fudz - soggy biscuits!!!"
My well read boyfran was like "omg wat soggy biscuits trololol"
...AND HE LINKED ME TO THIS GRUESOME WEBSITE
http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=soggy%20biscuit
Hence destroying my new favourite food.
Being the nicest bf ever he also volunteered to make me some soggy biscuits.
Hand. made. Soggy. biscuit.
ugh!!!11
I also discovered that AVOCADO MILKSHAKE is the single most awesome fud on planet earth okay i'm on a total avocado milkshake craze now :D
i'm stalking
www.myrollingstar.tumblr.comBecause she has a cool room and I want to see more pictures of her room.
Everytime I see this I'm filled with feelings :(:(:(
SO MANY FEELINGS
She's really good with copic markers too.
hair dye
Okay I dyed my hair with liese mocha orange bubble hair dye :)For your information, in case you're looking for a DIY dye:
Looks like this in bright light.
Looks like this in pretty dim light.
It's not really obvious, but I don't know of any DIY dyes that make a huge difference to your hair. Previously, I have used Beauteen Apricot Orange and Revlon Colorsilk Red. All of them fade to that grassy brown you see most Singaporean girls sporting, usually within a month. And that's because all dyes fade to that colour eventually. Especially red/purples.
This dye was more drying than the previous dyes, but it was easy to apply and gave me a more even shade.
Fuck my thick hair. Blargh.
Wednesday, January 11
maaan
lol making stuffJubbie and I made chocolate-nutella-ferrerorocher cupcakes! They were awesomeee!! We gonna make oreo truffle ballz next
We recently re-organised our business strategy so we have a plan to make many charms now :3 We did a lot of research to make our products more durable. So we had to kill off many designs. Welp everything is neater now and yeahh I can't wait to make new stuff to sell.
We were discussing about making couple products and I said "WE CAN MAKE A DICK AND VAGINA" and that we can put it with the other cute stuff we make and offer them to couples.
random: I thought this was justin bieber
but it turned out to be yagami light from death note :'c
And she was like srsly???? What if people ask me what it is I'll have to smile and say "Ah, that's a dick :)"
LOL OK
outside
mosburger has a new wagyu beef with pan fried egg burger and it's really fucking deliciousalso pepper lunch sesame ice cream will be my fave ice cream five-eva
does anyone know where i can get more $10-$20 dresses online/in SG
junction10 is another new mall that has opened in singapore do check out
so busy why
I need to teach two people how to use photoshop; their jobs are at stake. Need to deal with my mother. My brother needs to make his decision about his future in a few days. Tomorrow I'm getting four teeth pulled out and I'll be in pain for two weeks. Haven't bought tickets for the fosterthepeople concert. Blasdghsajdgsaj.
whee artbooks
I got the Good Progress Award for improving last year! :3 The government gave me $250 so now I don't feel guilty about the money I spent recently on an LED lightbox and four graphic books. I bought three t-shirt design books and THE PIXIV 2011 official artbook!!! The PIXIV book is GORGEOUS. The art there makes me feel inferior and jelly :c
y u so good
I feel like i'm losing part of myself because I just can't bring myself to draw recently. I think I lost interest. I hope I get it back soon. I want to make stickers and design t-shirts and make more pretty art :( I also need to design something with my new photoshop resources. Anything. Probably a new website layout.
No one cares about anything new i draw or design now I think @_@
What is art without appreciation?
I'm only all talk now. sadface.
inspiration!!! please come nao.
I'M HIGH AT 4AM
SO BADASS ALRITEManfriend got drunk so he decided to declare our relationship status on facebook.
Here's the conversation!
^ now everybody knows your retarded lol
Speaking about the post!
I LIKE HOW FACEBOOK COULD NOT FIND ANY PICTURES OF US HARHAR WE BEAT THE SYSTEM ASHJGADFHADB WE BEAT LIFE BRO
Another thing I like to do is to call him 'bro'
And he'll be all SADFAYCE I'm friendzoned in a relationship :( forever alone level infinity :(
omg lol ok i'll shuddap
For the person(s) who asked about him on my tagboard:
Maaan um idk how to tell you guys about him but essentially... he's a good person. One of the few people who understand what I'm going through with my family and the only one who went all the way to help me even when we were friends a year ago. We are super awkward. We like cool music (but he no like justin bieber which made me very sad) and cats and internet memes and trolling and TV shows (community omg) and hugs :3
And when we got together I was like "Shit.. I need to get over this."
And he was like "You know.. people usually get over breakups??? Not getting together??"
I said something like "Omg but argh i dont believe it i need to get over it ok"
And he was like "Oh boohoo let's go get ice cream and mourn our getting together"
OKAY NO MORE.
...
But one last thing
.....
I love him very much.
k i'll die in a corner now. i'll regret this tomorrow and take it down asjkdhayvbjs
Monday, January 9
That's it.
I can't let my mother ruin our lives anymore.She's going to seek treatment. I'll make her. Fuck this.
Wednesday, December 28
Somewhere out there
Hi how r u
Okay I blame all of you for making me feel guilty for abandoning my blog YES THAT INCLUDES YOU EDDY so fayne here is a post about my boring life okay
ANYWAY there is this totally cool not so new bubble tea place called OK tea and you should totally get their Pudding Milk Tea because it's so ahmazing
What have I been doing??? Well I'm staying at Uncle's now. Um ok so there was prom which was gr8. Then sleepover at janice's house and we watched the meteor shower - it was nice! Christmas party at elizabeth's which was really fun! And the usual hanging out with bff. Recently I went cycling and explored IKEA with manfriend who took me to his family christmas dinner ^___^ Yeah i'm happy!!!
I'm worried about my laziness to start drawing again though.
Need inspiration...
baking!
I went to jubbie's house to bake OREO FILLED CHOCOLATE CHIP COOKIES! :D
:D
They started expanding in the oven.
EXPECTATION:
REALITY:
...
Yeah so we got boob cookies instead.
We cut the nipples out to make them look like normal cookies. And served the nipples to everybody.
I want to bake nutella cookies next! Or nutella cupcake with ferrero rocher topping :D
Baking is so fun~*~*~*~
i am a girl
Girls you should get this waterproof pen eyeliner at Watson called CLIO PEN EYELINER it's the best ever. It's waterproof, easy to draw and does not leave fall out!Also makeup is really really fun to put on omg!! It's like drawing!!
~* lol, i'm such a grill *~ ^_^
Also lots of nice $10 dresses at bugis street.
I've been trying to wear stuff other than t-shirt and shorts :(
Also can somebody suggest something for me and bff to do we have virtually nothing left to explore because we've visited every mall in Singapore :(
a levels
I have no idea why i thought it was such a big deal but now I don't really care what I get anymore lol why did i even study ahhhhh life iz gud
job
So my mom called and asked me if I'd found a job yet. She told me to register at the Ministry of Education as a relief teacher.
I said, well, I'm considering tutoring but I don't want to be a relief teacher.
Then she told me about how she worked for 6 months as a relief teacher and gave her parents part of her wages to pay for her lil bro's education.
I'm like, cool bro story!!! ^__^ but I want a break ^_^!!!
....
THEN she started calling me a terrible person with no values. She said that this was no holiday - I shouldn't be having holidays at all. I should start gaining work experience and prep for da real world.
I said I understand that many students are finding jobs, yes work experience is good, but just because I don't want to work it does not mean I'm a terrible person. And we argued and finally she said I was wasting my dad's phone bill.
Huh.
WHAT THE HECK.
1. I DIED studying for A levels with zero tuition. I improved my grades with my own efforts, no thanks to you. I deserve my time off.
2. I'm going to be working for the next 40 years of my life! This will be the last long holiday I'll ever get for decades! So why should I use this holiday to work?
3. I may be leaving Singapore. It's the last few months I get to spend with my friends
4. I don't want to buy anything. I have no need for extra money.
5. Besides, you just spend it all away in the end.
Anyway, I did say I may do some tuition.
Also I'm not being completely unproductive. I want to volunteer at the animal shelter next year with my friends.
So please just let me have my break.
SAT
I got my second SAT score back. I'm disappointed, but I'll accept that 2170 is my personal best and I'll leave it as that :D It's mostly English, and English was never my forte. And you know I'm fine with that! It's enough for the colleges I'm applying to. I don't need all these grammar rules and fanciful vocab to communicate. I did learn a lot about grammar though. Hence my writing section improved from 14 incorrect answers down to only 3 :D! Learnt so much about English- usage of semicolons and comma splices and comparison rules! It was worth it. I personally think people can learn quite a bit from taking the SAT.Random: I think I'm pretty good at predicting my scores!
overseas???
Also I don't know about going overseas anymore.
After considering the extra $100000 it will cost me (yes - me - because my dad wants me to pay him back) and the fact that I will be far away from boyfriend.
I may stay here and try for law or just do Computer Information Systems. Get my apartment and my cat.
Meh.
I DON'T KNOW!!11
I'LL DO MORE RESEARCH SIGH.
My favrite singer
Number 1 world class flute player:
Community + sitcoms
SO bff told me to watch this sitcom called Community and I've finished two seasons so far.
I LOVE EVERYTHING ABOUT THIS SHOW. It's so brilliant and funny and ahmazing and the soundtrack is so happy but guess what?!!
It's only at season 3.
AND IT'S GETTING CANCELLED.
So apparently it airs at the same time as Big Bang Theory which has 11 million viewers and Community only has 3 million viewers. Also someone told me that the lead character got into a fight with NBC and obvsly show cannot go on without joel mchale.
NO!! I AM SO SAD!!
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY!!!!!
I have to start searching for other shows and lower my standards. Community made me set too high a standard for comedies because I no longer find How I Met Your Mother/Big Bang Theory funny.
Also I'm watching Dexter.
So far I'm planning to watch modern family, BBC sherlock, revenge... and maybe Doctor Who, gossip girl and stuff.
K BYE :D
Wednesday, November 30
In a stranger's bad dream
fugg yeahA levels are over!
Honestly idk I'm not that elated. Same reason as always. I started celebrating a pretty long time ago. Heh.
I'm sorry if my blog has been boring as of late. Right, I know it has been boring. I only talk about concerts and grades. Last time, pageview count really mattered to me because half my life was the Internet, but now it doesn't matter anymore. I write what I want to write.
A levels
I don't know what I'll get, but I can only hope that I will be happy with it. I did what I could to salvage my grades.GP
Remember what I said about hating GP?
It was because I was bottom 9%.
But during prelims, my comprehension paper score doubled.
So I climbed up to 66 percentile even though I still failed the essay.
If you think GP can't be studied, think again!
You definitely can't study it as much as science, but you should do about 3-4 practice papers. Skip the AQ. It's not too hard, just 1 hour each. It'll only take you one day. I did that and my score fucking doubled!
Anyway, just don't give up. GP is really hit and miss.
Something really touched me. My room mate was googling my name (idk the fuck why) but she found my GP teacher's blog. He blogged about me! His exact words:
And so I just want to record here and now that Sarah Ho, Chng Xinni, Tay Chun Mei, you make the job worth it. I will miss you all very much and our time learning together, though I know you will go on to do wonderful things in your lives:))
I'll miss him... what a nice guy.
I hope I don't disappoint him.
:(
***
Computing
Apart from this, my computing paper really scared me. I finished them both 1 hour early. For Paper 2, I submitted my script and left the exam room early. Then I met Ms Goh, my computing teacher, in her car! I showed her my paper and we started discussing answers which felt so wrong because my classmates were still in the room taking the exam. So wrong ok!!! She took my paper away coz she wanted to scan it.
I think this is the first time a teacher got her hands on a paper before it ended. God.
Worries me because WHAT IF MY ANSWERS WERE DAMN LACKING THEN HOW.
***
Econs: I HATE YOU.
DIE DIE DIE DIE DIE I'M SO HAPPY YOU'RE OUT OF MY LIFE
***
Math: I'll miss you so bad and we'll meet again and i can masturbate to math equations once again because you know i am asian
...scratch that ew
***
Chem: luv ya. luv science.
university
I just submitted my application for UC Berkeley and UCLA.If I get in, I am so going.
Being a realist, I know my chances are very, very low.
I really do like California and the UC campuses though.
And,
I accidentally got into a phone call with my mum.
Me: If I get into Berkeley, I am going. Okay?
Mum: Well, sorry to say this, but Berkeley is not number one like Harvard, Cambridge. You should be applying to blablablabla LAW blablabalal MEDICINE blablsblasjhakhfsjafhjdsfv
Me:
..........Me: I understand that all parents want their kids to go to Harvard and all these Ivy League schools
Me: But most of them just have to accept that their kids are not up to their standard
Yeah then I told her why BERKELEY IS ALREADY VERY GOOD AND I DONT EVEN DESERVE IT
....
......
Rawrw!!!!!!
I SPENDED SO LONG 2 WRYTE MY APPLCAITON AND U TELL ME U WONT LET ME GO BEACUASE ITS NOT HARBIRD?!??!?!!?
HARBIRD - THE COLLEDGE THAT I NEVER EVN HEAR OF SINGAPORENS BEING ACCEPTED!??!?
U THINK I IS A TOP STUNDENT?
Sorry - bad engrish mode off now.
Let's just presume I have the smarts.
How can I ever rise to Harvard standard after everything I had to go through. Everything she made me go through.
But we shouldn't even go into this because I. Don't. Have. that level of intelligence. And I'm okay. The smarter you are, the more depressed you become. I'm happy being happy.
I don't know if parents genuinely want to best education for their kid, or they just want bragging rights.
WELP my dad trusts me to decide what is best for my career. He'll let me go.
Actually I don't know why I'm talking about this... I don't even know if I can get in. Sigh. I'll make myself happy again, whatever happens. I can and I will.
well.
Remember this?
How I felt this was 100% true?
I think I need to be more open minded and less cynical.
I'll be truthful. I think men generally care a fuckload about looks and getting laid. And I believe this because of most men I meet. In Singapore I almost never see a good looking boy with a not so good looking girl. I only ever see the opposite.
And all the boys who tell me "Oh, this girl likes me, but I don't like her because her face CMI (can't make it)." THIS IS A FEW MONTHS AFTER TELLING ME "Oh, I don't care about looks ^^". WTF.
And all the cute girls in my school who get crushed on a lot. (I LOVE LOOKING AT THEM too omg omg ok shut up gurl get back to the topic!!) The pretty girls get all the attention.
And on the Internet I also see boys insulting overweight or unattractive girls, especially on 9GAG.
....
And many other unpleasant experiences gathered from people I meet in school and from friends.
That is why I believe what I believe.
And trust me, it's fucked up and I really want to change my view. The effects of such views on my general behavior towards the opposite sex has been affected in such obvious ways, I won't bother mentioning them.
After talking to lulu, I learnt these:
1. Girls can be as superficial as guys. Girls care about looks too. And who says girls don't look for sex too? Maybe we're just more hypocritical and we don't dare to show all these because society tells us we shouldn't be like this. Essentially, all humans are superficial and we are born this way.
2. I may only be collecting "evidence" to support my view and dismissing evidence from the other side. For example, maybe I don't notice men dating physically unattractive women because I don't want to, because I want to continue believing I'm correct. Could be true. Your brain just automatically does it.
3. How does it benefit me? So what if I have the statistics on how people actually behave? People are people, not trends. How do you know someone you meet is really what you think? Everybody is different. You'll need to get to know the person either way. There are no facts when it comes to people. You don't need these expectations.
....
NOW I AM JUST SO CONFUSED.
I trust my experience a lot. What I see and what I hear and stuff.
But it is obvious I haven't seen everything yet. I shouldn't judge people based on my limited sample size.
This is damaging, because I don't trust people. I push people away. I have low self esteem because I am not one of those pretty girls so I think no one will ever like me.
I'm being shallow.
God someone help me to stop being shallow and fucking ease up.
And I'll try. Really. I'll try to be more open minded. Less judgmental. I need to grow up.
guitar
I learnt how to play "Fuck a dog" by Blink182 on the guitar. Eh it's actually not hard it's just 10 repeating notes. The song makes me happy and I like dogs srsly & obvsly blink isn't being serious so i don't really care how wrong it sounds ok Also, intros I learnt:
Giraffe - Miniature Tigers
Comforting Sounds - Mew
Chasing Cars - Snow Patrol
Harry Potter intro
As soon as I learn to play chords I will try to learn the full songs.
My guitar so sexy omg
plans
So now that exams are over, I'm making myself busy again.
1. I need to get a decent SAT score.
2. I'm getting chased out of boarding school. I must find somewhere to stay and move out.
3. I need to help my daddy clear my mother's houses.
4. I need to rape my copics all over again and make beautiful art =D
5. Continue with the business I have with jubbie and make more pretty things!
6. BAKE OREO FILLED CHOCOLATE COOKIE and learn to cook.
7. Create a program, iPhone game or something cool and techy.
8. Volunteer at the animal shelter. (WHY IS IT IN EFFING PASIR RIS)
9. Dye my hair. Get braces.
10. Sleep around. I mean, at group sleepovers. No, not mass orgy. Ok the more i try to explain it the wrongererer it sounds. But yes, stayover at friends' houses and run movie marathons.
11. Watch a fuckload of sitcoms and shows. Hell yeah. Play Portal. Read Eragon.
12. Practise lots of guitar.
13. Do sports maybe. Cycle? Skate? Surf
14. GO OVERSEAS WITH MY GURLFRANS
.....
There's like 10 more but I don't think anyone would want to read
AAAAND this is why I'm never bored.
Never ending list of things I want to do, or learn, or try out, or explore.
Busy, busy, busy.
