I made this lil guy here!! 

I currently hold two jobs so i don't think i can update in a while.

My next update will be NUS module reviews, since I just got my results.

whydafuq

 Let's talk about a few of these search terms people use to access my blerg

• fried semen - it was just ONE TIME. ONCE, I mentioned a recipe book centered around semen. I thought it was nice knowing that it existed. I didn't want people looking for pictures of fried semen coming here.

• hairy armpit submissive - WHATTHEFUCK I've never blogged about BDSM involving hairy armpits WHATTHEFUCKITYFUCK!!

• panda fuck so good - I have to admit, my panda bag looks so gorgeous sometimes I wonder what it'll be like to make love to it. NOT!!!1!! MY BLOG IS NOT A PANDA PORN WEBSITE. GO AWAY YOU PANDAFUCKERS

• random thai words - I AM SO CONFUSED MY BLOG DOESNT EVENT HAVE THAI

pap smear
I just had my first pap smear. Pap smear is kind of like a check for cervical cancer, where they scrape cells off your cervix and examine for abnormities. Btw if you are a man you don't have a cervix; it is situated above the vagina. Our government has been actively encouraging women to go for the check and even subsidised it so I thought why not.

I went into the nurses clinic, and a midwife took my blood pressure. She asked if I knew how to check for breast cancer. I squeeze my boobs all the time and, even if I don't, I have a personally appointed boob toucher that most people call a 'boyfriend'. So I said yes. But she played me a breast cancer video anyway. It looked like porn. I feel bad for sexualizing a health video and i blame society.

The other midwife present said she was ready to do the pap smear. I had to sit on a bed with my legs spread open. They readied the instrument that was to be inserted into my vagina. I decided now was a really good time to ask about safety issues of the cheap birth control pills in Thailand. While one midwife penetrated my vagina with a clamp, the other midwife started talking about why birth control in Singapore is so expensive. While my cervix was getting wrecked scraped and as I squirmed in discomfort she went on about the cost of being certified to be a birth control pill distributor in Singapore.

Wow it is really not nice to have your cervix touched. It is ultimate discomfort. I understand why some women say big dicks are not always a good thing now.

Luckily my next appointment is in three years. But if I have cancer, I have to go back immediately let's hope not.

my famiry
On the day of my first job interview, I woke up to an sms from my mom about my grandpa being hospitalized in ICU, and that he is going to die soon. Prepared to cancel the interview to visit my grandpa, I gave my mom a call first. This was literally the conversation

me: hello? where are you?
mom: in papa's office!
me: why aren't you in hospital with ahgong?
mom: papa will bring me in the afternoon. he is sick so he is sleeping
me: your own father is dying but you are waiting for your sick husband to bring you to him?
mom: yes. last time when I went to visit, my siblings didn't appreciate me.
me: you know, it's not about you. it's about your father.
mom: *continues ranting about being unappreciated*



Um, then she starts bitching about my dad.
me: i have to go, i'm fucking late because of this.

So apparently, the death of her father, the only person who supported her in her life, is not enough to make her get transport herself. She has to depend on my dad for everything. And she still has the heart to complain about my sick dad even though her own dad is dying.. I really don't get it.

After the job interview I went to the hospital as soon as I could. Yeah my grandpa looked really bad... sigh. But I heard he's better now.

Then my two aunts came. One aunt started asking me about university and my boyfriend. She told me she knew so much because her daughters (my cousins) stalked me online. So, cousins, if you are reading this, how awful of you not to reach out to me, and choosing to gossip to your mom about me instead.

Then my mom came. My aunt decided this was the best time to mock me about my car accident. "Wow you really made the headlines," they laughed. This made my mom question me "What did they ask you? Why did you tell them? I didn't tell them, why must you tell them?" Jesus christ why would I tell them I had a car accident.

But I didn't know how to explain to my mom that my cousins fucking stalked me on the internet????? Maybe it's time I stop blogging about personal stuff. Oops too late I already typed out the story about my vagina examination. Next time then.

Anyway I gtfo'ed.


roynegrgehreg
HUH!!! SOMEONE EXPLAIN TO ME why people have donated $70000+++ to this roy ngergergegreg guy???? Are people that fucking stupid? Has it become cool to blindly support the opposition without corroborating facts?!

Just one look at his blog will tell you that his posts are nothing but a pile of wombat shit.

And people say that our Prime Minister is bullying him? Roy Ngerehgrhegre accused the PM of corruption, and then PM told him to take it down, but instead he emailed those posts and used it to publicize his blog of bullshit even more. AND PEOPLE ARE SUPPORTING THIS RETARDED BEHAVIOR?? WHY??? if I were the PM I WOULD SUE HIS SLIMY ASS. Not just for slander. Also for having that unpronounceable surname.

Is it so nice to let other countries know that singapore hates their own PM for taking action on someone who blatantly slandered him? Btw it was not even him that sued, it was his lawyers.

Poor poor PM. I don't think you should ask your lawyers to sue people anymore, because singaporeans are fucking stupid and love to blindly hate the government. It just backfires against you. I hope you are ok :(

want
WINDOGE 95 BACKPACK!!!!!!
LOOK AT THE MS PAINT POUCH ^-^

f00d

MEIJI Cookies and cream ice cream on a stick! I really like how the cookie bits are so huge they are more like brownie chunks :) Recommend! $7.5 for 4 pieces.


Lava cake in a cup from Chocolate Origins in Bugis! $5 a cup. I think it's average. Either it's very rich or the vanilla ice cream damn plain. Cos once you eat it you cannot taste the ice cream already.



Omakase burger from Turf Club is not bad but very small :(


Bf and I made burger (above) (: We'll make ramen burgers when he's back!



I love Japanese Spaghetti! My favourite is still the Mentaiko Ramen at Kabe No Ana @ NEX, but sometimes I go to Yomenya Goemon @ Star Vista; they are really good too (: Try their soup spaghetti, it's very cheesy and creamy and filled with good stuff.


I also went to three hotel buffets - MELT the world cafe @ Mandarin Oriental, The Line @ Shang Ri La and Checkers Brasserie @ The Hilton.


MELT: I'd say for seafood, MELT is the best with all the lobsters and snow crabs. Went there with bf on valentines day. They had free flow foie gras...


CB: But for desserts, Checkers Brasserie beats everybody hands down!! I loved their lavender creme brulee and hazelnut cake!! Went there with rachel and her mother on Mother's day! (Thanks rachel!!) Lol I spent Mother's day with my friend's mother. But shes definitely so much better company than my own mother... sorry mom.




The portions at Saveur @ Bugis are very small. A lot of people go there for their affordable french food?? My bf got the duck confit (above) which he liked, I got the chicken which was not good :(
 

Meanwhile, poulet has damn good chicken and truffle mashed potatoes. Which I swear is 80% butter. *v*


This onion prata duck roll is damn nice!
Their chilli crab spaghetti was too spicy for me. Not nice.

hammy

BALLS hahaa